Goddess_Ee_Ling

【折腾一下】女人，都需要一个情夫

2006-10-28T19:43:00.000-07:00

是的，你可以问遍天下所有女人，她们都会（如果隐姓埋名）诚实地回答你（如果你不是男人），是的，每个女人都需要一个情夫。　　　　这个问题和道德、伦理无关，和女人说不说真心话有关，所以你别着急骂我（如果你是男性），也别急着拍手（如果你是女人），我只是公开地不逃避这个问题而已。　　　　毕加索夫人有情夫，克林顿夫人有情夫，秋香在唐伯虎之外，更有其她的情夫。有欲望的女人都有情夫，男人能叫老婆没有欲望吗？　　　　我恰好认识几个有情夫的朋友，我问她们到底情夫有什么好？综合了她们的说法，发现了情夫有几个特质吸引女人：　　　　1.情夫不烦。现代女人在忙完工作后，很怕回到家再忍受老公的烦。至于烦的情夫也不是没有，但我的朋友说，哦，那就不叫情夫，叫小女婿，类似于喜欢就毫无道德观念的主题胡乱发表看法的流氓，通常女人和他相处几天就觉得厌倦了。　　　　--很奇怪，男人工作完回家后，却专喜欢同样与他一样辛苦工作的女人对他问寒问暖，此外还要堂而皇之地说他们不需要烦他们的老婆？而且万一老婆安静一点，男人就会想，咦，她是不是背着我做什么了。　　　　2.情夫让女人始终有恋爱的感觉，例如情夫不会像龌龊老公，内裤几天不换还要求作爱（男人说，那是女人的错，女人该提醒老公及时换内裤），身上穿着他大学时候留下来的破内衣，坐在计算机前边看无聊的黄色小说。情夫则会准备好一枝美丽的鲜花和烛光晚宴，穿上女人最喜欢的性感内衣，温情地邀请女人来一起享用。　　　　--很奇怪，如果女人回到家先敷好面膜、洗好澡，穿上整齐的睡衣，还好心地叫老公一起来共浴爱河，老公却皱眉头说，都老夫老妻了，你深更半夜弄什么嘛！又累我，去，对你早分泌不出雄性荷尔蒙了，还不如去看毛片。　　　　3.情夫心目中只有一个女人（我同意，也许假装，但至少假装），一切以女人的意见为意见（至少他会说他只爱你）。女人说，看样子明天会下雨。不管电视上才报道明天万里无云，下雨概率为零，情夫也会应合地说，嗯，下点雨凉快些。　　　　--很奇怪，老公也只有一个女人，但对待这唯一的女人，却有截然不同的方法。例如，当老婆刚开始兴奋时，他会说，糟糕，我胃痛、头痛、工作忙，改天行吗？　　　　4.这点虽是小事，却绝对重要。情夫根本不会让女人洗碗，那是佣人或饭店的事。也不会说，晚上给我熨熨衣服。更不会说，你不穿内衣简直象大妈。情夫什么都不会说，只会说，肚子饿不饿，你不穿内衣好性感？　　　　--很奇怪，老公总埋怨自己在外做牛做马，比长工还不如，却总要求，或至少期待和他同样劳苦的老婆做家事要积极主动，任劳任怨，绝对不许喊辛劳。　　　　5.情夫拿到女人给他的礼物时，会送上香吻和热情的拥抱；至于老公，他则会说，还不是花的咱俩的钱，而且我不喜欢这个颜色和款式？　　　　--更奇怪，老公对女人的苦心有种不寻常的感觉，他不管女人花费了多少心思想给老公一个惊喜，回送的是一鼻子灰。女人苦叹，对这样的男人，不必再有浪漫的奢望？　　　　以上只是简单列出五点，我想就足够了吧。　　　　我了解，当女人说出老实话时，下场通常会很惨，我依然奋不顾身地替女人说出真心话。当然你们（如果你们恰好是男人）会先用鼻孔哼一声说，神经病，天下哪有这种没骨气的情夫？通常他们会说，你这烂货，不许有非分之想，你要三从四德，本分做人，不许对老公横加干涉。喂，凡事往好处想，为什么女人老是想当情妇而不想当老婆呢？即使结婚之后，又为何一定要用老婆的态度来对待老公，而不是用情妇的态度呢？（大声喊）因为我们要的是公平！！！！！！！！　　　　不管你们再骂我什么，我还是得说，女人都需要一个情夫。

给他带顶绿帽子

2006-10-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

常常听说，丈夫另有新欢，抛弃患难与共的发妻；或是寻花问柳，视老婆为无物；更有貌似有情有义者，喜新念旧，“家里红旗不倒，家外彩旗飘飘”。做人家老婆的，大多只有一种选择逆来顺受。为了孩子，为了逝去的如花似玉的岁月，宁愿忍气吞声。　　维护着早已面目全非、道貌暗然的婚姻。　　这一点上，我很欣赏米兰妮。米兰妮何许人也，她是世界足球先生罗纳尔多的结发妻子。罗纳尔多倒霉时，只有此弱女子陪伴着他，陪着他走过阴暗晦涩的日子，给了他熨烫心灵的抚慰，给他勇气、爱和希望。她帮助丈夫顶天立地的站起来，星光不减当年。罗纳尔多收复失地后，便故态复萌，继续着糜烂的感情生活。米兰妮百般容忍，最终，那段让外人看来如连城之璧的婚姻走到尽头。我说的正题是，米兰妮给罗纳尔多留下了一顶帽子，绿色的，如青青碧草，在罗纳尔多的视线内闪烁着刺眼的光芒，这足够他铭记一生的。　　因为爱到心痛，爱到无力挽留才留下了这顶绿帽子。也许不再有能力掀起他爱的激情，却可以激起他的愤怒，至少可以让他恨你。这一点情感的出轨搅动了一池死水。　　他无法再对你麻木，无法再对你视若无睹。他的狂怒也许不是出自于爱你，是因为你破坏了你在他心目中亘久未变的唯唯诺诺的软弱形象，你破坏了他的自以为是的虚涨着的自信心，更重要的是，你使得他在大众面前忽然之间由一个强势群体转变成需要别人同情的弱者。他溺在周遭人的睥睨、口水和暖昧的讥笑中，你和他之间的角色一时间，来了个一百八十度的对换。他苟延残喘，骨鲠在喉，不得安闲。　　给他一顶绿帽子，要他知道，没有他的爱的滋润，你仍可以活得光鲜动人。有人欣赏你的天真，你的世故，你的或大智若愚，或聪明灵透。他可以情感走私，你也可以红杏出墙。要他知道，他不是你的唯一和全部。要他知道，他让你伤痕累累，你也可以让他尊严尽失。两个人的战争，你和他分庭抗礼。　　伤害也是一种爱，当你苦口婆心的爱再也无法左右他的磐石般的朝三暮四的心，给他一顶绿帽子。他厚颜无耻地背弃爱你山无陵，天地合的誓言，你又和何必悲悲戚戚地和他痴迷纠缠，他毫不吝惜地伤你、骗你、负你，你又何必给他颜面，为他着想？你一直想在他面前无愧无悔无怨，即便遭遇抛弃，噙着清泪显露出你的仁义。可事实上，女人的眼泪，男人视若蔽屐。　　爱或不爱，给他一顶绿帽子吧。这是一种极至的感情超越。这是最终的爱意，曾经深刻、真挚、强烈，专一的爱，以此消逝成烟。或许，你们都是保守传统的人。天上飘雨，自己的钟爱的雨伞丢了，怎么可以顺手拿走别人的雨伞?你们独善其身，知性理智，全部的爱都给了别人，留给自己唯有伤害。自私一次，放开心怀，给他一顶绿帽子。

每个女人确实需要一个情夫

2006-10-27T21:40:00.000-07:00

世人常有“痴心女子负心汉”之说，这世上果真是女子多痴心、男子多薄情吗？我不是个女权主义者，但是我并不认为女子多痴心男子多薄情，也并不认为“喜新厌旧”是男人的专利。试问：谁不好色？“爱美之心人皆有之”，在好色方面，男女皆然。
　　在当今社会，中国妇女已脱下围裙穿上了职业装，女人无论是政治地位、经济地位还是家庭地位都已大大地提高，人们时不时地听到“阴盛阳衰”的感叹已是不争的事实。但是，在这个提倡男女平等的现代社会里，在男人们津津乐道于“家中红旗不倒，外面彩旗飘飘”并以此作为炫耀资本的时候，女人受所谓“妇道”的束缚，“红杏出墙”的想法和行为让女人羞于启齿，女人甚至会为偶尔的精神出轨或肉体出轨忍受着良心的谴责和灵魂的拷问，这公平吗？
　　不要哀叹：世风日下，人心不古。当今，同居已成落伍之举，一夜情将成昨日黄花，同性恋可以结婚，女人找个情夫又何妨？　　
　　见异思迁，是人类的普遍心理，是社会生活中普遍存在的一种现象，无论是男性还是女性，都有拈花惹草之本性。如果抛开道德、名誉和伦理等等这些束缚，每个女人潜意识里都会觉得自己需要一个情夫，从人性角度或生理角度考虑，女人确实都需要一个情夫。
情夫是调味剂，它能使女人找回初恋的感觉。
平淡的生活，乏味的日子，除了找个情夫，还有什么能使厌倦柴米油盐的女人重新把自己当成童话中的公主？情夫让女人始终有恋爱的感觉，情夫根本不会让女人做饭洗碗，情夫永远会说：“宝贝，想吃什么？肚子饿不饿？”而丈夫呢，总是在下班后嘴里叼着香烟，把带点臭味的汗脚歇在茶几上，懒散地翻着报纸看着电视，时不时地吼上一句：“饭好了没？我饿了！”
情夫比丈夫更懂得浪漫。
当女人在某个月圆之夜拉着丈夫赏月时，丈夫会不耐烦地说：“月亮有什么可看的，神经！”而此时情夫却发来信息：“宝贝，今晚的月色如水，想你……”当女人在结婚纪念日买上一束玫瑰、费尽心机准备了一顿烛光晚餐时，老公会瞪大眼睛：“花这个钱干什么？都老夫老妻了，整天就知道乱花钱！”不管女人花费了多少心思期待着能给老公一个惊喜，回赠的都是一鼻子灰；而情夫呢，对于女人给他的礼物，情夫见了都会喜出望外，永远都会说：“宝贝，你真好！”再送上一个缠绵的香吻和热情的拥抱。
情夫总会满足女人的虚荣心。
情夫会陪你逛上一天的街，看着琳琅满目的商品，情夫会不停地说：“宝贝，这件衣服真美，你穿了一定很好看，试一试？”“宝贝，这个拎包和你那件黑裙很配，买下来？”但丈夫呢，即使勉强陪你逛街，也总是心不在焉，当你在高档服装面前驻足时，他会借故走开：“我到外面抽根烟去！”；当你试穿一件漂亮的时装请他来当参谋时，他会说：“你柜子里有那么多衣服还买呀？”
情夫永远会尊重女人的感觉。
当女人洗漱完毕换上性感的内衣，满怀柔情地向老公发出爱的讯息的时候，老公却皱着眉头说：“我累了，对你早分泌不出雄性荷尔蒙了，想睡了。”而情夫在此时则会不停地赞美着女人，接着对女人百般温存，并不停地问着女人的感觉：“好吗？你感觉好吗？”
情夫永远是女人最好的倾听者，情夫永远是女人的知已。
女人是需要理解和支持的，但是丈夫有时并不是最好的对象。夫妻之间的爱情往往在现实生活中渐渐泯灭，交流的时间很少，也缺乏平心静气的氛围。女人经常会对丈夫不满：丈夫缺乏幽默、丈夫不够勤快、丈夫不够体贴，简直让人受够了，可这些话能够向谁倾诉呢？工作和生活中的苦恼又有谁能够理解？这一切尽可以向情夫倾诉，由于没有共同的矛盾，反而能互相容纳，由于不在一片屋檐下，反而能沟通交流。面对你的烦恼，情夫不会嫌你烦，更不会骂你整天吃饱了撑的，只会柔声地安慰你……
情夫，让我们的生活出现一道淡淡的爱的彩虹；情夫，让我们平淡的生活变得不平凡。
情夫具有丈夫所没有的一切优点。如果一个女人一生没有一个情夫，或者说一生心里都没有一个情夫，那么她不是个完整的女人。
自从盘古开天地，古训一再教诲：“所谓女子，当具有温良恭谦的美德。”在古代，多的是男子昂首弃妇、女子低眉追夫的故事，看得女人浊气郁结，恨不能剖胸一泻为快！
令人欣慰的是，对现代女人而言，哭着喊着要嫁的年代已经过去，随着女性社会经济地位和教育程度的提高，其追求独立和自我实现的欲望也不断加强，“万花丛中过，片叶不沾身”已不再是男人使用的专利。面对男人的愤怒和女人的不屑，我们还要说一次：女人，找个情夫又何妨？

SM不是性心理變態，也不是性虐待

2006-07-07T23:39:00.000-07:00

黃顯洲案使得所謂SM又再度充斥媒體，可是一般說法依然充滿誤導與扭曲，例如將SM稱為「性變態」或「性虐待」，或視為「心理病態」，這些都是不正確的說法，這些錯誤說法也顯示這個社會缺乏性權利的意識。把SM視為性變態乃源自西方基督教的傳統，隨著殖民主義與性學發展而擴散到非西方世界。基督教認為性的目的就是生殖，凡不是為了生殖的性行為都是不自然的，故而手淫、愛撫、口交、同性戀都是道德上的過錯。反對這個宗教傳統說法的早期性科學雖然一方面認為非生殖模式的性與道德無關，另方面卻同時將SM這些非生殖的性稱為「性變態」，當作某種生理或心理異常。在現代國家人口節育政策與避孕科技的發展之下，生殖不再是性的唯一目的，性更是為了愉悅與快感，生殖模式的性道德遂逐漸被廢棄，手淫不再被教育家與父母視為大敵，肛交也在很多國家被除罪化。更有甚者，如果在性活動中追求愉悅快感是自然的，那麼SM這些促進性興奮的非生殖性活動根本就是性常態，是一種性偏好或口味癖好，如同各種助興的性體位與情趣用品，更無涉道德人格。很多人以為SM只是少數人的「特殊」性癖好，其實它一點也不特殊，反而是非常普遍常見的，只是很多從事SM的人不自覺而已。十九世紀的性學家就已經注意到許多年輕情侶或新婚夫婦都會在性活動中包含各種形式和程度的抓咬捏捶或其他形式的激烈性愛，更多的人則使用角色扮演，用不同的配件裝置器具來營造氣氛。最常見的SM除了動作激烈狂暴外，還有口頭暴力，例如在性行為中使用禁忌的語言、髒話或者以語言自貶或貶低對方等等。除了這些幾乎人人均從事的SM「入門」外，SM還可以被進一步開發而達到更為繁複與儀式化的形式，媒體中常見的皮衣頸扣及捆綁等就是其中廣為人知的例子。SM的普遍性有其心理基礎。弗洛依德認為在性壓抑社會中，人們對於性有羞恥、嫌惡、痛苦、恐懼等心理，這些心理阻礙了性愉悅。可是「性變態」（亦即，非生殖的性）卻有促進性愉悅的功能。例如，原本裸露是讓人羞恥的，但是人們在性交時喜歡脫光衣服，就將羞恥轉化為性興奮。同樣的，喜歡口交的人可以把對性器官的嫌惡感轉化為愉悅；喜歡SM的人則把原本連結到痛苦、恐懼、無助等心理的性活動轉變成快感。這是一種很合理的心理機制。弗洛依德認為性變態克服了性壓抑，因此反而不會因為性壓抑而形成精神官能症。易言之，SM把侵犯與破壞的心理以儀式性的行為操演出來，反而比較不會有精神疾病。有心理醫生說如果性活動過度依賴SM則是「病態」，這其實仍是預設了生殖模式為性活動的典範。但是熱愛SM的人，就像性活動中熱愛口交或裸露的人一樣，沒有什麼心理問題或不妥。照這樣說來，SM不應與性虐待混為一談。性虐待（sexual abuse）是枉顧對方意願而施行的身體侵害，SM卻是在雙方同意之下充分協商而進行的戲碼。台灣許多性研究者將SM稱為「愉虐戀」是很有道理的，「愉」就是以對方的愉悅為主要關注，「虐」則是雙方在一定的儀式程序中建立起互動的角色和戲碼。絕大多數的人多多少少都會玩一些愉虐的活動助興，有許多人只有在某種清楚明顯的權力支配之下，感覺到自身的全然無助，才能放鬆自我的僵化而得到快感。事實上，愉虐戀翱O在這個充斥各種不平等關係的社會環境中模仿或諧擬(parody)暴力及支配，並在協商過程中建立雙方的信任感與親密感，這和真實的暴力與支配大不相同。有些女性主義認為SM展現了男女不平等或男性暴力，這是對愉虐戀的誤解，因為異性戀的SM並不一定男支配女順服，而且在SM中真正主導整個過程的人常常是那個看來被支配的人。SM中的複雜操作和互動模式還有待我們不帶成見的認識。台灣解嚴後，性開放的程度雖然很高，但是被稱為性變態的弱勢「性少數」族群卻沒有性權的保障，結果這些性少數經常成為被媒體偷窺、被商業剝削的對象，也承受著道德的污名與曝光後的迫害。很顯然的，性開放不等於性少數的解放（性解放）。面對這種不符合社會正義的性壓迫，除了對社會大眾進行更多的性權教育外，台灣的愉虐戀者也應會和同性戀者一樣組織起來，爭取其不被污名與歧視的權利。

我的幸福生活

2006-07-07T22:16:00.000-07:00

我叫小R，是女主人宠爱的奴隶，我们不仅是主奴关系，同时，我们彼此也是无话不谈的好友。在相处的过程中，女主人常会用许多俏皮的花样和语气来逗弄我这专属于她的玩具；在调教场合中，她高贵无暇的气质，及一丝不苟的要求，让我对她又敬又畏。对我而言，她就像一泓深沈的湖水，容许我这一条小鱼在她的天地里自在的悠游着，但我永远无法游到百尺之下的水心，一窥她的全貌。（黎家大院 http://www.ljdy.ca ）我们平时都为了自己的工作忙着，晚上若是我比主人早回家，我会先买好她爱吃的食物，打扫好家里，然后跪着等主人回宫。我跟主人独处时必须是一丝不挂的。整理家务时，我穿着围裙，免得卑贱的身体玷污了主人宫殿里的圣物；有的时候是主人指定我的穿著，她特别喜欢我穿女装服侍她，不管是妖魅的女奴装还是可爱的女佣服，穿在身上时的那种屈辱感，比起手铐脚镣更无以复加。现在的我在主人的调教下已经能渐渐的融入角色了，在主人面前屈膝，亦或是在主人眼下放浪，都能让我彻底的放下男人的尊严，用羞涩、体贴和服从来取悦我心中的女神。主人很仁慈，她不会在我面对旁人时羞辱我，相反的，我们彼此欣赏，也珍惜这段Femdom的缘分。我好喜欢我的主人，只要能跪在她的脚边，偷偷欣赏她，如此就够了，尽管会被主人严惩一顿，我也甘愿。冰雪聪明的主人似乎也了解我动的歪脑筋，因此每次她都会有不同的手段来让我听话，啊～如此这般的虐恋情感，令神仙也称羡。周末假期的前一天晚上，我会专著正式地来到主人家布置，主人喜欢在烛光下吃晚餐，听着轻松的音乐，我们畅谈着一个星期来的点点滴滴；吃完晚餐后，而我会故作离开，褪去全身衣物换上项圈和贞操带，也从好友转换成家犬，爬进餐桌下，跪趴在主人的脚下当主人的脚垫，主人很悠闲的将双脚搁在我的双肩上，或是放在我的嘴边，让我轻轻的舔着她的脚指头当餐前菜。聪颖的的主人会将吃剩的餐盘及尚未燃尽、充满蜡油的蜡烛留下，等她吃完了，就会命我爬出餐桌，想狗狗一样的把主人的盘子舔食干净，主人一边轻踩着我的头命我快吃，一边将蜡油往我身上滴，我被滴得全身发抖，但是头被主人的脚压着，只得乖乖的舔干净眼前的美食。主人看着光溜溜的盘子，满意的摸摸我的头。"今晚我会好好调教你，在没有让我爽够之前你就先泄出来的话，你就从此不用服侍我了""是，主人，奴儿会好好让主人开心的，请主人尽情的使用奴儿吧～"接着主人陪我一起洗碗盘，洗的时候，主人喜欢贴在我身后，玩弄着我的乳头和小弟弟，害我边洗边喘，要是洗不干净，我的屁股就会遭殃了。饭后主人会牵着我溜狗，她用锁炼系着我的项圈，让我在地上爬着。主人的别墅很大，旁边有一个野外调教场，那儿摆满了各种刑架，还有供主人小憩的桌椅，溜累了，就会坐着让我按摩她的脚。要是主人心血来潮时，她就会把我绑在刑架上，用着性感的眼神诱惑着我。主人喜欢看我挣扎着想膜拜她却碰不到的困窘样，她当时高贵的样子好美，而奴隶是这么的卑微。主人看着我勃起的弟弟，知道我又开始不怀好意了。她拿出身边的绳鞭，用鞭稍挑逗着我背脊到屁股的神经，面对即将而来的惩罚，我既紧张又兴奋。主人不喜欢见血，她总是知道轻重缓急，彷佛就是我们彼此间的默契吧。在我的感觉就好像是主人的手在拍打一样，每一下都充满幸福的感觉。经过了几十鞭，我的小屁屁已经红通通的了，还带有一点麻木的感觉。主人温柔的把我放下刑架，这时的我已经双腿抖的不能在站立了，主人就坐着让我抱着她的大腿休息，一面用她的靴子拨弄我已经缩下去的弟弟。天哪～在主人的挑拨下，已经不堪负荷的我已经彻底败在主人的脚下了。偏偏我系着贞操带，每一下勃起都是致命的疼痛。我只好马上跪着亲吻她的高跟皮靴求饶 "主人求妳了，让我解放吧～""我说过了，忘了你的奴隶职责吗？还想讨罚了？？""主人饶命～～" 我没命的舔着她美丽又威严的皮靴。"饭后运动完就是妳好好服侍我的时间了～走～""是～主人"主人把我牵回了别墅，在玄关前有一座水池和清幽的园林造景，旁边还有一个架子，可以把跪趴着的奴隶完全固定，同时抬高屁股的装置。这是每次主人要奴隶侍寝前，都会为奴隶做的净身仪式。当我被牵到这个架子前时，心中都有一股当祭品的幻想。主人把我的贞操带除去，命我爬上架子锁好后，我的私处都无所遮掩的呈现在主人的面前。心中真是羞愧极了，其实不需要头锁我就不敢抬起头了。主人拿着剃毛膏，把我全身的体毛和阴毛都剃的干干净净，她每个动作都是那么的轻柔，缓慢且仔细，彷佛要把我全身上下都看透一般，甚至她连我屁股里的毛也不放过，我能做的就是闭起眼睛，心跳加速的承受。剃完了毛，主人戴起了手套，拿起超大的注射器帮我浣肠，她先在手上沾些润滑剂，慢慢的，一根手指头，两根手指头的插入我的肛门，还不忘拍拍我的背叫我放松。被女生玩弄肛门的感觉很奇妙，明明男生扮演的是主动的角色，但是暂时性的角色颠倒，不仅别有情趣，而且奴隶在肛门收放间，有如天堂和地狱般的来回，弟弟要射却射不出来。当冷水注入后，我感到肚子一片绞痛想把水排出来，但是肛门被主人用塞子塞住了，直到我的大腿已经撑的受不了了，主人才拔开塞子，涓涓细流把我肠子都洗干净了。主人才松开我，牵着我进入主人的闺房，服侍她脱衣洗澡。主人洗澡的地方在主人帮我净身的地方不远处，是玄关那些园林流水的园头。温暖的水从狮子头石雕的口中倾泄而下，注入一个大水池中，就像是置身在一超大的温泉浴池中。浴池里面除了给主人尽情泡澡游泳以外，还有一个浅水区，上面有石版做的床和椅子，当主人想休息一下时，她就会把系着我的铁链拴在旁边的石环上，我就跪在旁边服侍主人，在她全身上下抹上香香的肥皂，然后用双手为她按摩全身。有时候，主人也会叫我躺在床上，她则坐在椅子上，用她的玉脚挑逗我，俯视着我低着的头和与直挺挺的小弟弟。强烈的对比，在她的眼神透露出无尽的愉悦和骄傲。洗完澡后，主人牵着我走回玄关的鞋柜旁，里面有好几双主人喜欢的靴子，要是主人心情好，或是主人想好好奖励我的时候，她会让我选择要接受调教的鞋子；有时候，她会让我猜猜今天她想穿的是哪一双鞋子，猜对了有赏，猜错了要罚。想当然尔，对错在女王的心中；情趣在彼此的默契中。令我最感动的，是主人把我送的一双靴子藏了起来从没有正式穿过，还让我一直以为她不满意而不穿，颇失望的，没想到她在我生日的那天说要给我一个惊喜，于是把我的双眼用她的丝袜蒙着，跪趴着等赏。在等待的过程中，我感到似乎有东西放在我的头前。最后，美妙的叩叩声，主人踏着熟悉的脚步频率，在我面前停住，这时我还以为又是一阵痛楚的调教，没想到在主人命我抬起头，为我揭开了丝袜，我见到的，是主人的双脚，穿着那双我为主人买的白色长靴，双靴间，是一个精致的白巧克力蛋糕；白靴在蜡烛的归映下闪闪发光；我剎时呆住了，直到主人柔声问道："喜欢吗？""主人，...我....""谢谢你送我的靴子，我很喜欢，相信你也喜欢我穿上它，为了要与你共享我穿上它的美，我选在今日才穿上它；我还选了点衣服打扮，准你抬起你的笨脑袋欣赏我十秒钟～" 主人温柔诚挚的说词，如此的恩宠听起来让我快飞上天了，我还怕女王故意考验我，一直不敢抬头，直到她用那靴尖轻勾我的下巴，我才慢慢看到，一身英伦学院风，荷叶领，公主袖，搭配着格子短裙，可爱之极的女王。这时候的她，没有一丝调教时的冷艳冰霜，反倒像是一位可人的小公主，俏皮着揶揄她脚边的宠物；"喂～怎么？不好看哪？""不...主人，您，真的好美….”“ 今天是你的生日，皮靴加蛋糕，够你吃的，主人够诚意吧？”说着便坐在我背上，一边把蛋糕用靴子踩烂了，一边让我好好舔食着这人间美味。一人一狗，在舌头与靴子的追逐战中，我度过了最美的生日。以后主人越来越疼爱我了，准许让我晋升为性奴，让我服侍她的花园，详细情形下次再跟各位分享。

我的sm女神

2006-07-07T22:09:00.000-07:00

一天我下班回到家，吃完晚饭以后准备坐下来看我每天必看的电视节目——新闻联播，可是妻子美却叫我早些洗澡，累了一天，好好休息一下，说待会有些事和我商量。看着妻面部神秘的表情，我心里嘀咕着会是什么事情呢，不现在说。心里虽然有些纳闷，但还是依妻的话走向了浴室。
我从浴室出来，发现美不在客厅，那一定是在卧室了，当我推开卧室的门时，立即被里面的情境惊呆了。卧室里亮着粉红色的壁灯，带着神秘的灯光充溢着整个房间，仿佛到了一个神秘的境界，更令我眼珠差点跳出来的是，美一改往日的装束，她穿着一件黑色皮质的象泳装似的连体衣，紧身的裁制，将她的身体曲线勾勒的玲珑剔透，大腿着一双黑色蕾丝网眼长统袜，用黑色吊袜带系住，脚上穿一双黑色的高跟鞋，鞋跟很细，足有12厘米高，看上去一下子比平时高了一大截。美这一身黑色的、超乎想象的性感打扮，让我呆呆地站在门口不知所措。
美穿着高跟鞋小心翼翼地走过来，娇声地对我说：“老公，今天晚上我有一个要求，你能满足我吗？”我心中激动的扑扑直跳，结结巴巴地问美：“什么要求？”美说：“过两天就是我的生日了，我一直有个愿望，你能帮我实现吗？”……嗨，这有什么难的，我对美说：“当然没问题。”美笑道：“既然你答应了，就不许反悔呀……，我的要求就是从现在开始，今天晚上你一切都要听我的，我让你做什么，你就做什么，不许反抗，能做到吗？”
我满肚的猜疑，不知美要搞什么鬼，但是男子汉说出去的话不能改口，而且妻子提出的一个小小要求而已。我说：“可以，你做什么我都听你的。”美见我欣然接受，很是高兴，马上从床头柜里拿出了一圈白色的东西，我一看是绵制的绳子，有小指粗细，绳子被美从中间折成两股，然后在对折处打了一个结，这样一端形成了一个套，一端是绳子的两个头。做好这些后，美将还愣在门口的我拉进卧室，说：“你已经答应了，接下来我做什么你可不能反抗哟。”我木纳地点了点头。
美将绳子从中间分开挂在我的脖子上，让结好的绳套位于我的颈后，然后将绳子的两端在我的胳膊上紧紧的绕了好几匝，将我的手反剪在背后，紧紧的绑了起来。美在做这一切的时候，我兴奋极了，小弟弟像喝了水似的立马胀了起来，这正是我所酷爱的sm游戏，美在对我施行紧缚术，但这是我心中的秘密，我并没有对美说过我喜欢sm呀，他怎么会知道的呢？正在我猜测的时候，美已将我的双手紧紧地绑在了一起，将绳子的两端分别穿过颈后事先结好的绳套，然后拼命用力一拉，绳子立刻陷入了我的肌肉，一种痛楚的感觉传来，我痛的本能的“哎哟”一声，可美并没有理我，将我已经被紧紧捆住的双手从背后高高地吊了起来，我感觉我的手好象都被吊的快要摸到脖子了，我痛的眼泪都快要流出来了。
美看到我的表情很痛苦，马上放松了绳子，关切地问道：“很难受吗？”我此刻的心里感觉怪极了，虽然美将我弄的很痛，但我却感到从未有过的兴奋与刺激，脸上火辣辣的，我希望将这种感受延续下去。于是我对美摇了摇头。美见我没什么，马上又用力拉紧了绳索将我的双手高高吊起，这次我没敢叫出声，但我感觉到小弟弟已开始变得湿湿的了，美将绳子在我双手的腕处又紧紧绕了几圈，然后打了一个死结。
美将我五花大绑以后，看了看我的小弟弟说道：“哟，我的宝贝怎么馋的流口水了，别急，让我来给你穿一件衣服。”说完，美从床头柜中拿出一个小盒，我一看是一盒我们做爱时常用的避孕套。只见美从盒中拿出一个，撕去包装，从里面抽出一个粉红色的套，当美将避孕套套在我的小弟弟上时，我感觉非常紧，我低头仔细一看，发现这个套比平时用的小了一号，一定是美特意去买的小号套，我平时戴中号套都有些紧，现在不用说更紧了，难道美不小心买错了？或者她是故意的……此时我越发兴奋了。
美并没有象平时一样将避孕套套在小弟弟上就完事了，今天她将套整个用手使劲撑开，将小弟弟连同阴囊也一起套了进去，现在整个小弟弟都被紧紧地绷在粉红色的橡胶套内，感觉就好象美用手将我的下身紧紧捏住一般，非常刺激，我兴奋的血流速度加快了好几倍，甚至激动的有些站立不住了。
接下来，美从客厅搬来一张大椅子，命令我坐在上面，然后她又从柜中拿出一大圈绳子来。家里平时并没有这些道具，不知美什么时候买回来的，我兴奋地感到一阵眩晕，感觉有好些液体又从小弟弟流了出来，但已无法滴落了，因为小弟弟已被小号的避孕套紧紧地关在了里面。
美先将我已被绑住并吊的很高的双手紧紧绑在椅背上，然后又将身体绕了好几圈绑在椅子上，令我动弹不得。接下来，美又用绳子将我的双脚分开捆住，然后用力拉起来，直到双脚贴到了脸部。我从未做过如此高难度的动作，痛的我咬牙切齿，但就是强忍住不叫出声来，我不希望中断这种美妙的体验。
美将绳子的另一头绑在椅背上，这样我就被绑成了一个球似的，双脚和身体形成了一个“V”字形，两只脚基本搭到了肩膀上，我都看见了自己的后门了，我忽然心中一阵颤动，美不会在我的肛门……，想到这里，我立刻紧张起来，我从来没有试过后门的玩法，听别人说很刺激，但会很痛，一想到痛，我立即开口对美说道：“美，我和你商量一下，你别……”，可是话还没说完，美就用一样象小球似的东西塞住了我的嘴，我本能地想用手法挡，可一用力，才发现自己的双手早已被绑住了，根本动不了，只能眼睁睁地看着美将小球用力塞了我的嘴里。这个小球直径较大，我的嘴被撑到了极限，就象一个“O”，而且小球上还有两条细皮带，一端还有一个扣，美将两条皮带拉到了我的脖后系了起来，而且是系到了最紧一扣，我想将小球从嘴里吐出来已是不可能了，现在我口不能言，只能听从美的摆布了。
由于面对着梳妆台，我从镜子中仔细看了一下美用来塞住我嘴巴的小球，立即大吃一惊：这不是网上性用品商店中常卖的口塞吗？她什么时候买回来的，我怎么一点都没发觉，而且小球上布满了小眼……。
美帮我系紧口塞以后，温柔地对我说：“老公，你乖乖地待着，别着急，我们才刚刚开始呢，今天我会让你过一个难忘的晚上，你等我一下，我出去取些东西。”说完美便踩着那高的不能再高的细高跟鞋出了卧室。
被塞进了一个小球，我的嘴不情愿地被迫张开着，含住这个满是小洞的家伙，嘴里开始逐渐积满了口水，由于嘴张着，无法下咽，一会儿口水便顺着小洞一股股慢慢从嘴里流了出来，想用手擦拭，却无法动弹，只得任晶莹的口水不争气地继续流着，若待会美进来看见我的模样，多不好意思呀，想到这里，我羞得满脸通红，恨不得找个地缝钻进去。
此时，小弟弟被避孕套紧紧地绷住，已经充血肿涨到了极限，要想释放它目前是无法做到的，手和脚都被绳子无情地紧缚着并高高吊起，充满了酸胀感，看着梳妆台镜中自己的样子，再加上这从未有过的刺激体验，我的脑中一阵阵的眩晕，这种感觉妙极了，真想一直这样呆下去，不知待会美还会有什么花样呢，她今天怎么变得和往日完全不同了，性感内衣、sm游戏……，一想到这，我激动的禁不住颤抖起来。
不一会儿，只听见美的高跟鞋声“哆、哆……，”从浴室那边逐渐过来。我扭头一看，只见美端着半盆清水走进来，盆中还放着一只球式灌肠器，我心里一咯噔，马上意识到她要给我灌肠，天啦……我最担心的事还是要发生了。不用说，她给我灌完肠后一定会对我的肛门搞一些花样，会是什么呢？不会是往里面塞东西吧？”这会很痛的呀，我不敢想下去了。此刻心里虽害怕，但却有些期盼着。
美好象根本没有看见我嘴里的口水正不停地往下流，已顺着身体淌到了向上翘着暴露无遗的肛门口，这一切好象都是美事先安排好的。美将盆放在了我的身下，头也没抬，将球式灌肠器的注水口抹上了一些润滑油，“扑哧”一声便插入了我的肛门，又将另一端插入水中，然后美便捏动中间的橡胶球，通过橡胶球的吸力，水立刻经胶管源源不断地注入我的体内，我的后门马上感到一股凉意涌进来。
美不停地捏动着小球，我的肚子开始慢慢胀了起来，下体也有了想排便的感觉，随着注入体内的水越来越多，一盆水已不见了三分之一，天啊，我即使再渴，一次也喝不下这么多水呀。然而，这足有3公升的水却被美一下子全注入到了我的体内，我的肚子胀的就象怀孕五六个月的孕妇似的，下体充满了强烈的排便感觉，就在我已无法忍受想要释放出来时，美忽然用手一拍脑门：“哎呀，忘了再拿一个盆来，你忍一下，别排出来把地毯弄脏了。”说完美看着我的肚子有些不放心，只见她从柜中拿出一个大号肛门塞，在上面抹满润滑油，美一下子拔出了我肛门中的灌肠器，同时又立即将肛门塞使劲插了进去。这种大号肛门塞远比我的肛门口要大的多，不用一点力气根本插不进去，因为抹了润滑油，所以美将肛门塞插进去出没费多大的劲，但此时我的肛门却不好受，肚子胀的无法忍受，底下又被塞子堵住了，想排也排不出去，我尝试着用力想将肛门塞挤出去，但大号肛门塞真是太大了，我的努力对它的存在丝毫不起作用，它仍然紧紧地塞在我肛门上。
美看着我努力的样子，笑道：“没用的，我早就试过了。其实感觉满不错的，你慢慢享受吧。”说完美又踩着黑色的高跟鞋“哆、哆…”走了出去。可是大约十分钟过去了，始终不见美进来，我真搞不懂这个小妖精拿一个盆怎么会去这么长的时间，我甚至听到她在浴室里唱歌，她是故意的吧……。
此时我极度地想排便，在我忍受痛苦的时候，我一下子明白美为什么会选用大号的肛门塞了，她就是要让我无法释放。随着时间慢慢地过去，真是很怪，我逐渐不再感到痛苦，反而觉得越来越刺激，我前所未有地兴奋起来，有了想射精的快感。
又挺了大约十分钟，仍不见美进来，我本能地开口叫喊，但嘴却被口塞无情地塞住了，根本无法出声，能出来的只是那不断往下流的晶莹口水。手脚也被绳索紧紧地绑住了，动弹不得，正当我顶不住时，美终于拿着一只盆走了进来，我忽然发现她的内裤也湿透了，“莫非，她也和我一样处于极度兴奋的状态中……？”
美将空盆放在我的身下，一下子拔出了肛门塞，只见已在我体内徘徊了二十多分钟的液体飞快地喷射出来，我如释重负，肚子就象漏气的气球一般，立刻瘪了下去。液体排完以后，美又接着反复多次帮我洗肠，但没有再用肛门塞，连续用了两盆水，觉得洗干净后，终于结束了灌肠。
美从柜中又拿出三支振动棒，很特别，分别是红、黄、蓝三种颜色，每一支比大拇指略粗，形状象冰糖葫芦，棒身有许多凸起部分，估计是用来增大摩擦的。美将红色的那支抹上润滑油，然后插入我的肛门，由于一支振动棒比刚才用的肛门塞略细，因此很容易便插了进去，但棒表面的凸凹部分让我感到了强烈的刺激，没想到肛门也会有如此美妙的感受，真后悔没有早些进行尝试。美又拿起黄色的那支，往上抹润滑油，我的心又开始紧张起来，两支振动棒合起来比刚才用的大号肛门塞还要粗，我不知是否能承受，但心里又十分想体验，心情又是害怕、又是兴奋，反而有些盼望了。美开始插第二支棒了，我的肛门几乎已经被第一支塞满了，现在插第二支就不那么容易了，美颇费了些心思，她先将头一支棒使劲往一边用力，这样，肛门口就出现了一点微小的空隙，第二支终于还是插进去了，强烈的磨擦，让我兴奋地全身颤抖起来，我真的好喜欢这种特殊的感觉，只恨自己经历的太晚了。
我以为就这样结束了，没想到美又拿起了第三支蓝色的振动棒，我的心立刻提到了嗓子眼，“天啊，这样恐怕不行吧……，”但我无法阻止美，这小妖精原来早就算计好了，先将我的手脚绑住，好让我不能反抗，而且还塞住我的嘴使我无法言语，真是聪明，看来我今天是栽到她的手里了，要受尽她的折磨。
第三支棒虽然抹了许多润滑油，但美插了很多次也没有插进去，美气呼呼地说：“我就不信插不进去。”说完她在自己左手纤细的食指上抹了些润滑油，然后将手指使劲插进我的肛门，用力撑开，右手持棒旋转着往里推，终于，第三支振动棒也插了进去，我的肛门仿佛要被撕裂了，痛的我连眼泪都出来了，可是美并没有理我，而是将三支振动棒的电源开关全打开了，剧烈的振动从我的下体传来，我就好象触电一般，全身颤抖起来。
美看着我的样子笑道：“我还一支振动棒，想要吗？”我连忙摇头，美知道我要一个适应过程，说：“好吧，这次就算了，不过下次我可要插四支哟。”我此刻已经顾不上美在说些什么了，只是一味地点头答应，殊不知又中了美的语言圈套，下次我恐怕要遭受更大的痛苦了……。
我的肛门在极度地膨胀和强烈的振动中，慢慢给我带来了快感，这是从未有过的快感，绝不是性交所能替代的，这种体验只有亲身尝试才能感受。
就在此时，美的下体也流出了爱液，顺着大腿直到地毯上，听着我嘴里哼出快乐的“啊……啊”声，美也忍不住站在我的面前开始抚摸自己，她一只手从胸口向下伸进性感内衣使劲地揉搓着自己的乳房，另一只手不停地磨擦下体。美闭着眼睛，气息越来越粗、越来越急促，显然也进入了状态。
此刻我特别想自慰，可恨的是双手被反绑在背后，无法进行，美真是我的女神，就在我最需要的时候，将我的小弟弟含在了口中，并不停地上下套弄着……。此时，我身体前后的快感同时向我袭来，使我达到了颠峰状态。就在我快要射出来时，美突然停止了运动，她显然知道我要射了，马上变戏法似的从柜中拿出一只直径很小（大约只有3厘米）的JJ环，套在了我的JJ根部，延长我的射精时间。接着，美将吊住我双脚的绳子松开，我的脚终于可以放下来了，但是由于肛门里的三支振动棒仍然插在那里，所以我不能象平时那样正常地坐在椅子上，只能以双脚点地，挺直着身体，有臀部的上半部分作为支撑点，这样就不会压着振动棒了，我的小弟弟也因为这个动作挺了出来，就象一个迎头将军一般，只待上阵大战一番。
美脱下了她那早已湿透的性感内裤，分开双腿将我夹在中间，然后将小弟弟插入她湿润的小穴上下套弄起来，随着美的节奏逐渐加快，美的嘴里发出了性感诱人的“嗯……嗯”声，我在极度的前后快感的夹击中努力地迎合着美，终于在一番撕杀后，伴着美的一声满足的大叫，我和美双双达到了性爱的颠峰。
我在云雾中飞翔着，心想：“我的下一次会是在什么时候呢……?”

现代男性更勇于面对戴绿帽问题

2006-03-05T02:30:00.000-08:00

现代男性更有勇气面对“戴绿帽”的问题，他们也比较愿意原谅出轨的妻子回到身边。
　　心理医生黄木汉认为，女性对婚外情的观念并没有很大的改变，不论以前还是现在，男女搞婚外情的比例是相去不远的。不过，现在的男性对寻求婚姻辅导的观念比较开放，寻求婚姻辅导的男性比以前增加的许多。
　　黄木汉还发现，现在的男人比10年前更愿意原谅妻子的不忠，反之，现在的女性自主性比较强，更不容易原谅丈夫在外面胡搞。
　　关怀辅导中心近几年开办了一个婚姻辅导工作坊，这个名为新虹互助团体的工作坊让那些婚姻亮红灯的人参加，一起探讨婚姻的问题。辅导员蒋朝发在受访时说，开始的时候，出席者几乎全是女性，这一、两年来，每10个参加者中，就有一个男性。
　　但是他认为，我们不能因为越来越多男子寻求婚姻辅导就断定现在的女性比较容易红杏出墙。蒋朝发说：“随着社会的变迁，现在的人比较开放也比较西化，很多人对性的观念也改变了，但是我们还是很难断定现在比较多女性搞婚外情。”

戴绿帽的丈夫

2006-03-05T01:35:00.000-08:00

疲惫不堪的丈夫对妻子说：不管谁打电话来，都说我不在。　　一会儿，电话铃声响了，妻子拿起话筒小声地说：喂！我先生现在再家啦！　　我不是交代过你，要说我不在吗？丈夫怒气冲冲地吼道。电话是打给我的。妻子回答。

恋足与女性支配男性有什麽关系？

2005-12-27T06:17:00.000-08:00

一，恋足与女性支配男性有什麽关系？　　　　通常，表面上看，男人们总是处于支配地位，女人总是处于被支配地位。这是由于生理结构不同。男人们身体强壮，在一对一的对抗中，女人是绝对打不过男人的。但事实上并非如此。男人们无休止的争斗，其实最终的目的就是得到女人，这是他们用以吸引女人注意的唯一方法。所以，女人才是这个世界上真正的支配者，男人不过是一群为了发泄永远满足不了的性欲而拼命寻找女人的可怜虫。随着现代科技的发展，肌肉的力量在对抗中的作用越来越小，男人的优势在逐渐丧失，他们努力想保持这种优势，结果却适得其反：财富和权力聚集在极少数男人手里，他们在工作和生活中总是偏向女人，而大多数男人只能在最底层，久而久之，女人眼中只有那极少数，而对绝大多数采取了蔑视的态度。　　　　社会发展下去，应该说，FEMDOM，就是女性支配是一种不可阻挡的趋势，这在当今的家庭中已初见端倪，而男女最基本的交往——性交往也将遵循这种趋势。有过这种体验的男人的感觉都不错。包括捆绑，殴打，口交，排便等等，而其中很重要的一项是脚崇拜。由于脚处于人的最下端，常常还发出不太好的气味，所以人们认为脚是人身上最卑贱的器官，男人对女人最卑贱的器官--脚进行崇拜，还崇拜丝袜，高跟鞋，甚至和脚进行性交，这多少和FEMDOM有关。很多人并不喜欢FEMDOM，而只是喜欢女人的脚，这种观点是一种唯美的观点，确切的讲，等于是在FEMDOM的路上走岔了。 FEMDOM包含很多内容，有精神上和行动上的。实际上有很多行为在FEMDOM上走的更远，比如说吃女人的排泄物，对排泄物进行崇拜。这种行为即使在今天看来也是不易被接受的。可能过一段时期会被接受。而脚崇拜现在应该说宽松多了。很多文学作品中都出现了这种趋势，也还是半遮半掩。　　　　-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 　　　　二，为甚末我会喜欢女人的脚？　　　　可能被支配欲超过支配欲的男人都会容易有这种爱好。根据富罗一德学说，这与童年性经历有关。在家庭中女人（大多数情况下是母亲）占绝对支配地位，容易使男孩对女性产生畏惧心理，表现在成人后，不善于与女性交往，存在一定的自卑。而生理上又有对异性身体的需要，很容易对女性身体中最“卑贱”的器官--脚产生异乎寻常的好感。而且脚与女性的性器官也存在一些共同点，比如都会发出刺激性的味道，总是潮湿的，终日不见天日等等。关于“害怕失去性器官，要寻找一个替代物”的说法，大概根源也在于此。　　　　-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 　　　　三，喜欢女人的脚算不算变态？　　　　这个问题即使在爱脚同好当中也存在分歧。传统上认为这是变态的一种，脚物恋，归于物恋。西文中FOOT FETISH即是这个意思。但是，大家注意，传统采用的是双重标准：它把脚归于“物”。文学作品中象这样的描写并不少见：男人用手轻轻的抚摩女人的或手或头发或其他什麽部位，就是没有脚什麽份，认为脚是丑陋的，肮脏的，是“物”。这是极大的错误。实际上，脚和其他部位是一样的，既然可以有人痴迷于女孩美丽的脸庞，乌黑的头发，为什麽要把喜欢女人的脚称为“变态”呢？事实上，现代的观点认为，人类具有多样性，体现在性取向上就是或多或少都有些“变态”的倾向。完全“正常”的人是不正常的。喜欢女人的脚和喜欢女人的臀部一样，没有本质上的区别，都是再正常不过的性取向了。所以，我不喜欢用 FOOT FETISH 一类的词，而倾向于用FOOTLOVE代替。　　　　-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 　　　　四，喜欢丝袜，高跟鞋呢？　　　　严格的说，这种爱好也是恋足的一种分支。由于长时间对脚的爱好得不到满足，很容易对与脚有密切关系的丝袜，高跟鞋产生移恋。这也是正常的。不过有些同志发展到只对这些“物”感兴趣，而对脚本身倒不太在意了，这就有些“物恋”倾向了，应该注意纠正。丝袜，高跟鞋是恋足的一个重要组成部分，但决不是和恋足平起平坐或凌驾于恋足之上的部分。　　　　-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 　　　　五，除了女人的脚（丝袜，高跟鞋），别的都引不起我的“性趣”也算正常吗？　　　　当然不正常！如前面所说，人类的性行为可以有多种取向，但最终的都是以男性在女性的阴道内射精为终结。其他的如手淫，口淫只是作为性交的补充。恋足也是如此，都是为了更好的完成繁殖后代的任务（当然，现代性生活更主要的目的是娱乐，但也不能脱离人的本性）。如果只是钟情于脚（丝袜，高跟鞋），就有些本末倒置了。如果你有这种倾向，要注意纠正。当然在性生活中想象的作用很大，如果只是在性生活过程当中幻想，我想应该不算甚末。　　　　-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 　　　　六，FOOTJOB是什麽？　　　　FOOTJOB我想可以象“手淫”一样直译成“脚淫”，就是太直白不太好听，起个什麽名呢？大家集思广益，想个合适的叫法。解释也可以这样解释：女人用脚刺激男人的生殖器使男人达到高潮。关于同性间及自助的FOOTJOB我没有研究，不敢妄加评论。　　　　-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 　　　　七，你喜欢什麽样的脚呢？　　　　我喜欢女人的脚。XIXI，开个玩笑。基本上我喜欢白白嫩嫩的，大小不拘，千万不能肥！不能畸形！不能青筋直冒。脚掌，后跟，脚趾头红红的。脚趾要求不高，长短各有千秋，但要自然的弯曲，也不能太骨瘦如柴。最好有点味道的，不要太浓，淡淡的那种。脚趾甲要平整光滑。没有老茧，摸着腻腻的那种。总之，要色，香，味俱全。

Guys ... this is how we love to have our "holes" ... "licked & sucked".!

2005-12-01T08:22:00.000-08:00

This is for the guys who want learn how to "suck" a woman's vagina properly, or who've heard that it might not be all that bad to put their face down there, and for women who want to get their guys to eat them. I am not an expert even though thousands of different guys hace "sucked" and "fucked" me over the years... I suppose I am like most females who know what we like, and have had all too many experiences with guys who didn't seem to have the vaguest idea what they were doing "between my legs" !
Eating a woman's vagina is about the most wonderful thing you can do for her. It makes her feel loved, admired, sexy, and of course it makes her orgasm like crazy. Many women prefer it to intercourse, and for most, it's the easiest way to "cum" with a guy. You may have the smallest penis on the planet, but if you give great head, you'll be appreciated as a fabulous lover. Yes, it's that important. Besides, lots of women expect it these days - so you might as well get to know what you're doing. Many guys seem to have a strange love/hate relationship with women's genitalia. Guys that can't wait to get their "cocks" into one are often reluctant to put their face "down there." For every guy who says he loves to eat "pussy", there's another one who's squeamish. We women know this, and it affects our ability to lie back and enjoy the experience.

This is for inexperienced females - Before you can get him to "eat" your "hole" for the first time, you need to get him worked up about the idea, that is, get him to think about sex for a few minutes, but don't do anything to make him "cum" yet. He's got a sex switch in his brain that turns on when he sees a woman, especially a naked one, and turns off as soon as he "cums". Fortunately, it won't take much to get him to "eat" you the first time, just undress and ask him to look at your vagina for a while, show him your clit and let him play with it, promise him a good "fuck" afterwards or a "blowjob" ...if he seems the least bit interested straddle his head and rub your vagina over his face.

This is for you guys - Most guys don't really know what they've been sticking their "cocks" into. Many women also don't appreciate what they have, and can't understand why a guy would think that it was beautiful, let alone want to put his face in it. Why would a guy like to "suck" a vagina ? Most guys I know who really love women and want sex with them think of it as a joint endeavor rather than a conquest, so they also like to "suck" vaginas ! They don't want to just "eat" her, they want to bring her to a great climax and then build her up for a "fuck" that neither will forget, or maybe get a good "blowjob" if that's what she wants to do. I think that there are two basic reasons. First, many guys want to give their woman the most sexual satisfaction they can, they enjoy pleasing her and will go to great lengths to do so, the more their woman likes what they are doing to her, the harder their "cocks" get until sometimes they "cum" just from "eating" her. The second is the role that the mouth, tongue, taste and smell play in sex. Put this all together and your mouth in her vagina is where it's at guys.

I have saved the best for last, the clitoris or clit. Most of you know it, but for those who don't, it's THE woman's sex organ. It may feel great to be "fucked" vaginally or otherwise, but if the stimulation isn't right there, on the clit, you're ignoring the place that's going to make her orgasm, and presumably that's why you're reading this, right ? It's right there at the top juncture of her inner lips, a small knob of pink flesh. Almost any "licking" and "sucking" of the labia or vaginal entrance are going to feel just great, just remember that's pleasurable, teasing, but not the main event. I can't tell you how many of my "lovers" have thrust their tongues up my vagina thinking that that was going to make me "cum".
Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take on their clit. Some women will adore it if you "suck" hard on their exposed clits, others will shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as through her labia. IMPORTANT NOTE: Often, what is unacceptably rough at first, may be fine after she's very excited. The fact is, most women really need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack on their clit, but once they're ready, that's where you want to devote your attention.

Positions
You can suck a females "hole" in just about any position a female can get herself in, however, some positions are obviously better than others. Giving your partner a good "suck" can take an hour or more if you play it right. That means that you both have to be in comfortable positions to enjoy it, or even endure it. That usually means a lying, sitting or reclining position. She has to be able to spread her legs comfortably and hold them in that position. She should not have to have the weight of your body on her. She also needs to be able to put her hands on your head and pull it against her. You need to be able to make eye contact with her while you are "eating" her. You have to be able to press your mouth and your tongue in all of her "hole", including holding it deep in her "cunt" without getting a "crick" in your neck. You also have to be able to easily place your hands on her vagina and your fingers in her Vagina.

The obvious place to start is a bed. She can recline comfortably against some pillows and watch you "at work sucking". You can lie on your stomach between her legs, however, you'll have to tilt your head too far back to get your tongue in her cunt comfortably. Putting a couple of pillows under her hips to tilt her pelvis up will help with that problem. This is probably one of the better positions. Another good one, maybe the best, is for her to slide her hips to the edge of the bed and rest her feet on two overstuffed chairs that are spread apart enough for you to rest between them. They can be turned so that she can rest her knees against the arms or backs. A couple of pillows under her head and she can reach your head and "watch". You can rest on a soft cushion on the floor, your head resting on her thigh, sucking on her clit for hours.

And then there's 69. . . . 69 is one of my favorite positions. On the plus side, you both get to enjoy the sublime sensations of getting "head" simultaneously. The upside down positioning of a woman's pussy and your mouth is an easy fit and there's more room for your hands. On the negative side, it's a less than ideal position for a woman to "suck cock" and you may not feel comfortable with your nose in her anus when you French kiss her vagina. I also love for a man to reach down, thrust his tongue deep in my vagina and then slowly lap it back up to my clit which doesn't work well upside down. She can also straddle your face which can be a lot of fun, but be prepared to get very wet. There are endless varieties of positions where you can press your face up to her pussy, some of which strike me as more acrobatic than erotic.

How To Start
For you inexperienced females . . . just lie back and enjoy it, it'll grow on you. When he does something you like, tell him. Hold his head gently with your hands and guide him, talk to him, he'll love it.

Now for the guys So there you are, staring at it - the mysterious "hole" from whence you came, and into which you hope to "cum" again . . . The key here is to go slow, ask questions, really explore her body. Body language often tells what feels best, but I promise, she'll appreciate your attentiveness if you ask outright. If she seems shy, get her to guide your hands and mouth with her own hands, and pay attention. Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you've got the world's most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she's going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it's beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down "between her legs". Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during lovemaking. They respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you're petting and stroking her beautiful vagina, talk to her about it. There's nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner finds her delicious. Don't be coy; tell her.

Many men, and women, feel that the tastes and odors associated with a woman's vagina are offensive. This isn't so, the natural fragrance and secretions of a healthy woman are beautiful and erotic, especially to a man. You both need to settle this question at the very beginning. Take turns tasting and smelling her pussy's natural fluids when she's fresh and clean. When you finger her then smell, lick, and suck the juice off your finger and sigh as if you were in heaven, she'll forget this problem and you can dive right in.

What if your female "partner" doesn't smell or taste very sweet ? Don't suffer. ( Don't complain, either.) Take a nice hot shower or bath together. Lather up both of your bodies and slide them together. It's like a whole "body fuck". Soap up her vagina, washing between her outer and inner lips. Spread her lips apart and gently wash her clit. Hey, don't stop - this feels great! Run your soapy hand down the crack of her buttocks, and rub a finger all around her anus, washing the entrance/exit well. But don't put those soapy fingers up her "hole" ! Instead, rinse them off well and stick one or two inside, making a circular motion. Think about washing the inside of a tall glass - same thing. She may prefer to use a douche.... I prefer to use a douche after "bareback" sex with different guys ....if she does, help her do it, you can get your fingers in her vagina later. Now wasn't that fun ? Now you can feel free to let your tongue wander anywhere it pleases . . .

Even though your "slut" wants you to eat her ... she may still be somewhat hesitant about your "going down" on her. Don't just dive right in, warm her up with some serious kissing and cuddling. Move over on top of her and put your legs between hers. Use your elbows to keep some of your weight off her. Slowly work your way down her body, caressing, licking and kissing her ears, eyes, throat, breasts, navel, and wherever she likes. Press your body down on her vagina and slide it around as you move down, getting her used to something being on it besides your hand and "cock". Lap your tongue on down from her navel to the inside of her thigh. Raise her legs over your shoulders and rest your cheek on her "muff" while you continue to lick and kiss her thigh. Lick the crease between her thigh and vagina. Brush your lips over her "pussy" as you turn your head over to work on her other thigh. Look up at her, make eye contact and smile while you rub your cheek over her vagina. When you see her facial expression begin to change to one of anticipation and feel her tilt her vagina up toward you, you know she's forgotten all about her hesitancy and you can start getting into the good stuff.

So now what? You've found a comfy spot to play, you've been kissing passionately, your tongues darting around in each other's mouths like playful kittens. You've moved on down to some of the other interesting parts of her body and she's starting to groan, ready for you to "eat" her now, grinding her pelvis against you. STOP. I know it was just starting to get good. But was she really groaning and humping you, or was it your own excitement you were detecting ? I personally prefer to be excited before a guy starts plunging his tongue into my inner recesses. Use your judgment, women, even more so than men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is one of her more tender spots. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her vagina, then float away. Make her anticipate it. Now lick the crease where her leg joins her vagina.

Nuzzle your face into her vagina .. Brush your lips over her vagina without pressing down on it to further excite her until she's arching up her back trying to get you to "eat" her. Of course, if she really was groaning and grinding, go for it . . . I also don't particularly enjoy a guy endlessly nibbling my inner thigh while my clit is quivering in anticipation. Moisten your fingers and open her outer lips, examine them, taste the texture of the inner side with your tongue. See if her clit is starting to peek out from under its hood. Play with her inner lips with your lips and tongue. Open her inner lips and examine the vestibule. See if you can find her meatus, the opening for her urethra. Its sort of like the opening in the head of your "cock" that she plays with, now play with hers with your tongue. Look at the "hole" your penis has been playing around in. The entrance to her vagina looks like an open flower with its lower petals blending into the larger lowermost petals of the inner lips. Taste its juices with your tongue, they should be flowing now. Slip your tongue farther in and feel the texture, move it around in her vagina and watch her response.
Good luck guys.! Barbie xxxx

Understanding Male Sexuality

2005-12-01T08:18:00.000-08:00

The first step in this evolution is to establish in both your mind and your husbands mind the link between his ejaculation and your consent. As the Lady who is courted, it is very important to your husband to please you. As we have also seen, undergoing a trial or challenge for that purpose is stimulating to the male and is as time-honored and established as the behavior of the medieval knights undertaking quests on behalf of their Ladies. Therefore at this stage you simply want to establish the request and consent structure that will be an important part of your interaction. This is as simple as getting your husband to tell you before he ejaculates and ensuring he asks your consent to do so. At this initial stage this is essentially your husband wanting to ensure that you have been sufficiently stimulated during your lovemaking session and that the mutual timing is right for him to orgasm and consequently end the session. After the male ejaculates, it is rare for love making to continue.
Therefore when the husband approaches his peak, he should ask his wife in terms that she is comfortable with for her approval of his orgasm. At this stage, I would recommend that the wife assent, usually in an enthusiastic manner and let him proceed to his climax. As noted, the purpose of this stage is to connect in both the husband and wife’s mind the act of ejaculation with the approval from the wife for such action. This process of request & consent will form the basis of what follows.
Soon the wife should start to use this link to time the husband’s ejaculation to coincide with her desires. The difference between this stage and the previous one is that now the wife’s assent will not automatically immediately follow the husband’s request. Therefore when the husband asks to ejaculate, the wife will now seek to delay his orgasm till the moment that she prefers. This may entail a delay of a few days to several weeks or longer depending on circumstances. Even if she has experienced a satisfactory sexual session to this point and sees no particular sensory advantage to herself in delaying his orgasm when he asks, it is important at this stage to deny the initial request. Thus making the husband wait, even if only a matter of a few seconds establishes her assent as the primary trigger for his orgasm.
The goal at this juncture is to condition both husband and wife to the concept that approval need not necessarily follow immediately after request. There is no automatic immediate rubber-stamp to the husband’s request but rather a conscious decision made by the wife. You have the right and authority to in fact delay your approval till that moment in time that meets your preference.
As your comfort level increases with the concept of approving your husband’s ejaculation, you will now move to the stage where the husband will really begin to appreciate the fact that there are hurdles in the path of his pursuit of his wife. At this stage in your intimate activities, the husband will ask for permission from his wife to ejaculate as usual. Now, however, you will raise the hurdle that the husband must overcome to please you. You must answer in the negative when he asks to ejaculate. Your love making session should continue to supply you with the quantity and quality of stimulation that you desire but it must conclude without the husband’s ejaculation. This will establish an important milestone in your relationship. You will have definitely shown that you are in control of the lovemaking process. Your husband will no longer be able to take for granted that your romantic interludes will result in a “capture of the prey”. As a consequence, you will now stretch out your husband’s pursuit of you over an extended period.
The first time you engage in a sexual activity with your husband that has as its sole purpose, pleasing you, it will quite possibly feel somewhat exotic and a little foreign to your experience. But as you get over the novelty of the event you will find it a tremendously empowering and erotically fulfilling experience. Some women say they get an erotic power rush from this experience, however some say they feel guilty or bad for their husbands. This is often the most difficult moment for many women who follow this program. I always feel it essential to once again remind women at this point that everything in this program is consensual for both husband and wife and requires whole-hearted support from both. Also you must keep in mind that ejaculation is not denied to your husband, merely rationed and that this is all part of a process to enable you and your husband to rekindle your romantic love. By this important step of not consenting to his ejaculation, essentially the love making session has not closed off for him but continues into the next day and throughout the day. It extends and intensifies the husband’s pleasure, saving him from a quick release followed by an even quicker loss of desire–climax and anti-climax and produces a sexual tension that far exceeds the short-lived orgasm in excitement and intensity.

How To Train Your Man

2005-12-01T08:09:00.000-08:00

That ruse about "the way to a man's heart" has it all wrong. Any woman who's slaved to make her husband an elaborate meal knows that he's more likely to conk out on the couch than whisk you off to the bedroom afterwards. After you've been married for a while, you learn what should have always seemed obvious: the way to a man's heart is through his zipper, not his paunch!
Fact is, once you sexually arouse a man, he'll turn circus tricks for the privilege of a ride on his queen's throne. By exploiting this fact -- and tempting him and teasing him with sexy suggestiveness, you can have him on his knees begging you to allow him to kiss your feet, wait on you, clean for you, satisfy you sexually, even humiliate himself for you, if need be. The possibilities are endless. For men go absolutely ga-ga when confronted with a take-charge woman. Sexually aggressive women get what they want in life from their men, and that goes way beyond the bedroom. Making your man beg for your good graces, makes him even more aroused, more beholden to your charms, and (best of all) more willing to do your bidding.
Here are some ideas, to help you tease and tantalize him, until he's willing to do anything you want him to do. Try this routine with him tonight and you'll own him -- mind, body and soul -- as of tomorrow morning!
1. Invite him up to your bedroom and undress him -- while you stand before him in your sexiest outfit. Ask him if he's been a "good boy" for you as you run your fingernails between his thighs.
2. Ask him to kneel down to rub your tired feet. Then tell him that he may kiss them if he wishes to. Allow him to kiss your feet, all the way up your legs, to the crux of your thighs, a part of your anatomy which will now be referred to as his "place of privilege." Stroke his hair and ask him if he's "earned his place."
3. Turn around and have him give your bottom a smooch, to demonstrate his sincerity.
4. Tie his hands behind his back with a silken scarf. Then have him attempt to undress you with his mouth/teeth. If he slobbers, give him a playful smack across the face. He mustn't muss his lady!
5. By the way: Don't let him touch or otherwise arouse himself. That's what those beautifully manicured fingernails of yours are for! Use them to keep him aroused.
6. Now have him take his place at your feet while you read a romance novel or watch a sexy movie. Keep him occupied with a peek at your panties. Once you're in the mood, ask him if he'd like to "kiss his queen's throne."
7. Meanwhile, keep him teased and aroused with your toes. Make sure he has a big stiffy, but only touch it when he needs prodding. Bring him to the brink, but don't let him release! Use this opportunity to manipulate him deeper into his submissive role. Make him confess his fetishistic desires and proclaim his adulation for you.
8. Avail him to your now-musky panty crotch. Allow him to sniff it. Ask him if he'd like to kiss it. Tell him that if he'd like to cross your panty threshold into the gates of paradise, he's going to have to compose an impromptu "Ode To His Lady's Lair." (If the quality of his verse is abysmal, make him stand on his head and say a nursery rhyme).
9. Allow him to remove your panties with his teeth. Then pull his face toward your lair. Tell him to "kiss" and "lick" on your command. Issue these commands as if you were training a pup. You are! If he disobeys you, gag him with your panties and make him nuzzle you with his nose.
10. When his session of oral servitude is complete to your supreme satisfaction, escort him to your four-poster. Push him down on his back and tie his legs to the bedposts.
11. Straddle him. Sit on his chest and find out what he would do to be allowed to kiss your breasts. Hover over him. Get close enough for him to suckle your nipples, then pull away. Slap his face. Make him beg.
12. Turn around and avail him to your bottom. Allow him to kiss your cheeks as you pinch and tickle his joystick. Make him reach with the tip of his tongue to taste the fruit between your legs. Ask him if he's ready to assume the role of your "Personal Ass Kisser" for life. Let him audition for the role. Tell him that whether you make love to him that night depends on the lust and eagerness he exhibits in worshipping your netherhole.
13. By this time, he should be ready to explode. So, naturally you'll want to take a break. Retire to the kitchen for a glass of wine, leaving him to ponder more ways in which he can please his new boss. Drape your moist paints over his face, to give him something to inspire him.
14. When you return, give him a rousing massage between his legs, to stoke those fires within his loins.
15. Verbal stimulation is often very effective, tell him things you might do to reward him, tease him with ideas you know he'd enjoy, threaten to humiliate him if he doesn't satisfy you.
Then grab your riding crop, straddle his hips and take that young buck of yours for the ride of your lives!
Admonishments: Once he'll "do anything to please you" here's some ideas that will keep hubby attentive, while keeping you blissfully entertained.
1. Have him pamper you. Make him...
- give you a foot/back/full body massage- give you a pedicure/manicure,- paint your finger/toe nails.- bathe you/shave your legs.- cook and serve you a nice dinner.
2. Make him do all laundry and hand-launder your panties and lingerie.
3. Make him polish your pumps with his tongue.
4. Make him do the housework: naked, but for his "Hubby" apron and his rubber gloves!
5. Make him wear a collar and lead him around with a leash; Here pooch....Heel! Beg! Roll over...good hubby!
6. Make him earn his rewards; for example: Allow him to kiss your bottom after he does the dishes. 1 minute of pleasure for him for 10 minutes of yours. 1 orgasm for him after he makes you cum 5 times.
7. Spank him 5 times for each minute it takes him to make you climax.
8. Order him to bring himself to the edge of orgasm and stay there until you give him permission. When you give the command he must cum within 5 seconds or he will be punished and/or not allowed to cum at all. (keep him that way for 30 minutes, an hour...or as long as you want)
9. Always make him lick you clean after sex.
10. When You go out, order him to be kneeling at the door for you when You arrive. Give him plenty of chores to do while you're gone.
Punishments: If he's not performing to your satisfaction, or you just feel the need to assert yourself...
1. Spank him. (wooden spoon, hair brush, belt, ruler, ping pong paddle.)
2. Double up on his domestic chores, make them more difficult: make him use a toothbrush to clean the toilet.
3. Deny him orgasms for a long period of time (weeks, months?).
4. Humiliate him in public...take him shopping for sissy panties/lingerie. If at first you're apprehensive about taking the reins of your relationship, just relax and start small. Try this: after work tonight, tell hubby to pour you a glass of wine and give you a foot massage. Then let one of your stockinged feet worm it's way between his knees. In just a few seconds, you're going to have a completely compliant man on your hands. Have fun with your power over him! Once you're comfortable calling the shots, you'll feel as if you'd been doing it for years. And, believe it or not, he's going

Female Supremacy…..More Than Just An Idea

2005-12-01T08:01:00.000-08:00

When looked at from many different viewpoints one can quickly come to the realization that Females are indeed the superior gender. From the very outset of life to the very end of life there are many factors and evidence that shows just how superior Women are to men. Below you will find some of this proof as well as why I am a true believer in Female Supremacy.
Women carry two x chromosomes, whereas men typically carry one x (sometimes two) and a y chromosome. The y chromosome is smaller and carries less genetic information that the x chromosome does. This, in and of itself might not seem consequential in determining superiority; however it does show that Women's genetic make-up is more complex than men's. Also, the very y chromosome that makes men men also predisposes them to more diseases than Women; such as hemophilia. In fact; Women can be carriers of many things that only affect men such as the aforementioned hemophilia, certain colorblindness and male pattern baldness.
From early on and until menopause Women's primary hormone estrogen protects them from many diseases that men's primary hormone testosterone does not. Men are much more prone to heart-disease and osteoporosis than Women. Although without supplemental hormones after menopause Women will begin to catch up with men in these areas. Men also die sooner and more often than Women in almost every major cause of death. Women also outlive men by an average of seven years.
Women are also more prone to take better care of themselves than men. Women tend to eat better and live a healthier lifestyle than men. Women are on average more organized, and efficient than men.
These are all facts; but they are not the only reasons that Women are Superior. There are way too many factors to be listed in an article of this size and I don't want to bore everyone here with statistical data. Many of there reasons that Women are superior and men are inferior are only known to those who understand it as a thought process, and not as pieces of information. I am a true believer in Female Supremacy and not because of all the information listed above. No, I am a believer in Female Supremacy simply because I know it to be the truth. I know that my place is in the service of a superior Female; and that my life will be much better when it comes to pass. Nothing would give me greater satisfaction than knowing that I am doing everything I can to make a Woman's life better and in doing so, better my own.
Most men live without direction and guidance. I know this because I am one. But in the hands and service of a Dominant Woman; any man can have the direction and control that he so desires and find true happiness. He should submit to Her in all aspects of his life; he will be a better person for it.
Women should grasp this idea and take steps to make it a reality that will enhance Her life to the fullest. She must realize and understand that it should, and can be a benefit to everyone involved if She does so. Men usually lack focus and are only interested in certain things such as sports, cars, electronics, and sex. You should be his primary focus and interest, and You can be by simply taking control.
By simply getting him fitted with a chastity device to which You hold the key, You can take steps to control every other aspect of his life and make him put You on the pedestal where You belong. Not only will the chastity prevent him from satisfying his own sexual needs and cause him to focus more on Yours; it also has the added bonus of making him more willing to do what You want since a horny male is much more compliant than one who isn't.
It is at this point that You can get him to do all those things for You that You want him to. Make him start paying attention to You instead of the television. Get his to start doing all the work around the house. Get him to start eating right and exercising. Take control of his finances; this will enable You to make him dress the way You want him to, take You the places You want to go, decorate the house the way You like, and buy all the things You want and desire. With him not spending his money on foolishness You should be able to start saving for Your future; as well as having money for emergencies or fun money. Take control of his free time so he is spending it with You and not his friends and the two of you can enjoy the things you both like doing. As the two of you grow closer together, and all these things begin to fall together and into place; both of You will find the happiness and love that you have been looking for but never finding.
Yes, I'm talking about a lifestyle, not just some kinky role-play; and I'm not talking about turning him into a door mat. He should be attentive to You, but also be able to anticipate Your needs and feelings. If You can do all this to him and make him love You even more; then You have shown not only him, but Yourself and the rest of the world that Female Supremacy is indeed more than just an idea. It is a reality whose time has come. It is an honor and privilege to be in Your presence.

Getting Back To Basics

2005-12-01T07:58:00.000-08:00

No one can keep up a certain pace forever. We all have dominant and submissive tendencies, just as we all enter relationships with a certain amount of passion, caring, and loving. We all fall into various degrees of regression in relationships. Remember, when you first met your husband or significant other; he was romantic, helped around the house and bent over backwards to make you happy?
Whether it is one, two or even five years later, you realized the honeymoon was over. Enter cable tv and the computer, which took the place of sporting events and afternoons in sports bars. Where is this once romantic helper? Well, thank you Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, Bill Gates, and especially Steve Case from AOL.
I believe that with the advent of the male being preoccupied with electronic stimuli that coupled with the easy chair and light beers the once helpful male in your life has become a passive or shall I say a dominant passive partner in your relationship. Right about this time women become fed up with the situation. As one lady wrote in to Ask Vera this week. She is basically fed up with her situation.
We can either be the housemaid or become the dominant partner in the relationship. At this point we can decide if the relationship is worth saving or look for a new romance, only to fall in the same trap once again. I say that we become assertive and put some control in our male’s life. We cook for the family, do the laundry, clean house, pay bills, etc and still hold down outside jobs. Why should they be the only ones to relax at the end of the day?
This was the case in my relationship. Michael while working with many of the contractors during remodeling all of a sudden became a dominant passive. He wasn’t working hard and long hours, so was I. Once we moved I said that was it. As of one week ago I regained control of this relationship. I went back to the basics on which our relationship was founded.
Let’s not fool ourselves, we cannot be 100% of a certain personality all of the time. As we go in and out of degrees of dominance it is important that the male just be more submissive then where we are at that particular moment.

Extracting Promises

2005-12-01T07:55:00.000-08:00

Promises are an important aspect of relationships in general but marriage in particular. A promise is a verbal declaration in which your husband binds himself to do, or to forbear to do, a specified act. It is a declaration which gives you a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of that specified act.
Husbands are naturally more attentive to their wives when they are aroused and excited. There is much you can do to maintain your husband in a state of arousal and excitement but such excitement is in anticipation of sexual satisfaction. Once that satisfaction is achieved, his attention to you will tend to fall off for a while. This is just natural.
Promises are useful because they bind your husband at one time to perform at another time. In particular, your husband may make a promise when he is horny to perform when he is not.
Your goal, then, is two-fold: First, you need to extract promises from your husband when he is most excited. Second, you need to remind him of the promises he has made and those he has broken.
The best time to extract promises is during foreplay. When your husband anticipates that sexual satisfaction is imminent, he will do or say anything. When extracting promises, directness is best. Just before allowing him to enter you, tell him what you wish of him and ask him to promise.
You can combine interrogation techniques with promise extraction to powerful effect. As one wife wrote:
He did everything I asked, but the diner didn't taste as it was supposed to taste. After he did the dishes and gave me several orgasms (orally), I masturbated him while we had a little "talk". I asked him if he loves me. He said that he worshiped me and that he would do anything to please me. Then I asked him if he would take cooking lessons to make me very good meals. He hesitated a moment and I began to stroke his penis more intensively. He finally said: "I will take lessons to cook you meals that you deserve". It's amazing how he behaves when I'm masturbating him. He's very like a little boy; he stares at my hand like there was nothing else in the world.
Naturally, when the urgency is passed, he will tend to forget his promises. To the extent that he is a man of his word, this will be less of a problem but you should expect him to fail to keep his promises from time to time. Additionally, he may rationalize that the promise was made under duress so it is best to keep a sense of humor about these promises. Still, it is very important not to let him slide but to frequently remind him of his promises especially when he breaks them. Take such broken promises in stride and avoid nagging. Instead, the time to make an issue of broken promises is during sex.
When you are having sex again, remind him of the promises he has broken and ask him to repeat his promises and to promise to keep his promises. If the breaking of promises is relatively minor and the sincerity to correct sincere, then a renewed promise should be accepted. If the breaking of promises is more serious or persistent then some remediation or penance should be required before sex. Additionally, sex may be delayed for a discussion of the broken promises. This delay might be minutes, hours, or even days according to the circumstances.

Cuckold your hubby

2005-12-01T07:50:00.000-08:00

One of the major attractions for a lot of males in the cuckolded lifestyle is the humiliation suffered at the hands of their better half. Of course this doesn't really work if the Wife is simply cheating and the husband is not aware of it. He continues on with his life, going to work and enjoying his lunch break blissfully unaware that his wife is on her back at the hands of his best friend.

For some humiliation is not a big part of the lifestyle, for other its the best part. Here is a primer for you if the humiliation factor plays a role in your lifestyle.

Have him help you prepare for the night out. Getting ready is an important part of the night out for all women and involving your boyfriend/husband in this can be great fun. Let him help you into your tight evening attire, and be sure he notices if you're not wearing panties. All the time telling him you want to be irresistible to your lover. Once you are dressed up for the night you are bound to look uncontrollably ravishing, model bit for him, tease him, then kiss his cheek and go out the door for your date.

Tell him how big your lover's dick is. Do this randomly. For example, if you suddenly see something large him how it reminds you of your lover's dick, explain in detail exactly why and how it’s bigger and better than what he (your husband) has. Seeing that everything reminds you of your lover will really drive him insane and he'll try to prove his worth but you. This is perfect to do when you're out at restaurants, seeing a movie, or even at his parents’ house. Soon all you'll have to do is hold a large object and wink at him and he'll know what you're thinking!

Have you ever given your man a cream pie? For those who don't know, this is the practice of having him go down on you after another man has cum inside you. The humilation aspect creeps in if you set up a situation with your husband where he must always wear a condom and is never allowed to cum inside you. This way when you return home to sit on his face, dripping from that wonderful lover, he will know you allow other men basic privileges that you deny him.

COMPLETE SEXUAL FREEDOM FOR MARRIED WOMEN

2005-12-01T07:41:00.000-08:00

A cuckold husband is a man who allows (or puts up with) his Wife having sexual affairs with other men. What most people find strange about this relationship is the fact that the husband himself is NOT allowed to cheat on his Wife. Most cuckolded husbands are most pleased to see their wives happy sexually, and are happy to make this sacrifice to please Her.

It might start out with him as a fantasy, wanting to see a well hung male giving the wife long, hard, deep, strokes to keep Her satisfied sexually, but the truth of the matter is that most of the time, the Woman wants complete privacy with Her lover without the husband's voyeurism. She usually goes out, or orders the husband to leave the home until She notifies him She is finished making love.

A basic component of the Dominant Wife / submissive husband situation is the complete unfairness of the situation completely favoring the Woman. Often, Dominant Women will take on many male (or female) lovers and flaunt all the details in the husband's face. She insists he remain faithful to Her at all times. For his part, he is happy to obey. Further, She always teases him mercessly with Her body and with tales of passionate encounters with other men, while denying the husband any sexual release of his own. The male's genitals are often secured in a male chastity device, so that he can not receive any pleasure from any one, or even masturbate, while his unfaithful Wife spends the entire weekend with another man. Frequently, the husband has no idea even where the wife has gone until She comes home with wild stories of love, romance, passion and raw sex as She rubs Her husband's nose in it to his humiliation. It's important for Her to reveal every last detail of the sexual tryst: how many mind-blowing orgasms DID She have anyway? Too many to count! How big Her lover's cock is, and how, if She closes Her eyes for a moment, She can still feel it deep inside Her. How they fell asleep in each other's arms, Her lover's penis buried deep in Her Vagina as they fell into a deep sleep.

In many cuckolded relationships, the Wife insists that Her husband accompany Her to Victoria's Secret to purchase the most sexy clothes to please Her lover. Naturally, the husband pays for everything. She coyly asks him what turns him on -- to get the male perspective. The husband may get turned on, but the satisfaction will elude him: it's all for Her and Her lover. In a cuckold ritual, the Wife makes the husband prepare Her for Her date: bathing Her, shaving Her legs, painting Her toenails and polishing Her fingernails, dressing Her and fixing Her hair for maximum appeal for Her lover. In Her mighty Feminine presence, the husband cannot avoid becoming overly stimulated as he prepares his Wife for an exciting sexual encounter with another man. The male chastity device, though, keeps his libido in check. He might beg for release, but She reminds him that sexual pleasure is for Women. As She turns to leave, the husband kneels and gently kisses Her feet. She, of course, is wearing the sexiest high heels. He asks when She will be back. Her reponse: "tomorrow".

She leaves with the swishing of Her sexy dress and the clicking of Her high heels. A car outside whisks Her away in the darkness. It is going to be a long, frustrating night for Her poor husband. He always fantacized about Her cheating; now She's actually doing it. He can't sleep. He can't masturbate. He can't concentrate on a book or television. Only one thing to do: all the housework. It's what She told him to do while She's out fucking another man!

Oh, my! No date lined up for this weekend! Wife gets dressed up as sexy as possible. She and hubby pay a visit to a crowded singles bar. She orders a drink and She orders him to sit. She wanders around the bar looking for a new man to fuck and suck. She brings Her new beau over to introduce to husband. She orders husband to go home and do his chores, but not before She tells Her new lover about Her husband's chastity belt. It's stuck -- can't seem to get the damn thing off, so no sex for hubby, but that's OK, as long as SHE gets some. She reminds him to stop at the all-night pharmacy and pick up the prescription refill for Her birth control pills. The male lover smirks while he kisses the back of Her neck in front of Her humiliated spouse.

Why is it OK for Women to cheat, but males can't? The answer is obvious. In our society, Women rule and males obey. Women may always do as they please, males serve and obey the Woman, and are usually not entitled to any sexual release unless granted specifically by the wife. Usually his release occurs after a wild night of lovemaking by the Wife and Her lover. Upon Her return home, he licks the other man's sperm from his Wife's Vagina (called a 'cream pie' by submissive, cuckolded men), bringing Her to several more orgasms and, if he has performed well, She permits him to masturbate in Her presence, then licking up his own cum. She then locks the male chastity device and puts the only key in Her purse for safekeeping. She has informed him that he -- Her husband -- will never again feel the pleasure of his cock in a Woman's Vagina or in Her mouth. As he sadly resigns himself to a lifetime of sexual frustration, She mockingly laughs at his plight: the plight She has made for him. If he's lucky and submissive and completely obedient, the best he can ever hope for is to be on his knees before Her, masturbating furiously before She decides to put the cock-control device back on his penis and testicles.

The cuckolding of the male will serve to make him more submissive to his Wife, and his constant state of arousal with no possibility of sexual release will only reinforce his desire to serve and please Her. A Woman is capable of far more sexual activity than is a male anyway, and the future of marriage in the 21st Century is that Her satisfaction is all that matters. There is more of this happening now that most people are aware of, but soon many more will know about Female Rule in every household, and with that domination, all rights, privileges, money and decisions are Hers and Hers alone.

Keeping my Man

2005-01-29T21:41:00.000-08:00

I used to have problems with men. Specifically, them leaving me for another woman. My husband had up and left as well as a live in mate of four years. I later found out that both were sleeping around with other women. I was perplexed as to what to do if anything about it until I was engaged to my current husband.

He knew of my past problems and wanted me to assured he would have the same results so for Xmass he gave me a CB2000 for him to wear. We tried it a few times over the course of two years. He had promised me to wear it for an entire month, but Valentines day ended it along with his begging me to unlock him at 28 days. He did promise to do a month at a later date to fulfill his promise to me though.

Two years later for Xmass he bought the cage to upgrade the 2000 to the newer 3000. It looks nicer and keeps it all contained, controlled and down in a smaller package. In fact its much smaller and that’s good because he is at least two inches shorter than average and his thickness lacks in the same proportion.

After measuring him using an online survey that collects men’s measurements we both knew he had been shorted in the cock department. One night he had just stepped out of the shower and I mentioned something about his cock being small and how the CB3000 fits it perfectly. I think I also mentioned that men that an average or better cock would not be able to wear it. As I talked his little cock grew to full hardness and then twitched, kind of like bobbing up and down.

His cock was telling me what no man would admit, that it liked me talking about it as a small fish in the pond. I have read that the average length of a man’s penis is 6-3/4", but the average length of a woman’s vagina is 9-1/4"? This means most women would enjoy a larger man. The more I talk about other men having larger cocks the more my husband tries to please me to make up for his lack in the cock department.

When I tell my husband, "Your little peter is a little one and it should be kept locked up. Men with less than average penises are prone to masturbation and need to have it controlled for them. Otherwise they waste all their time masturbating and get nothing done!"

Usually by this time he has tented pants and could not possibly get his CB3000. I have to tell him, "Get a bag of ice, go upstairs and get your CB and sit in the bathroom and ice your little Wee Wee down until you can get it on. Then come down and I’ll lock it!"

He just loves it when I tell him go and put it on no matter how hard his little peter is. He always looks so bashful too.

My husband can usually be trusted up to a week after he has come not to masturbate but, not always. I started to make him put his CB on after a week and a half, but once I did a spot check and had him masturbate for me to check the amount.

Just as I had thought. He had made a withdrawal without my permission. I believe its true that men think about sex on the average of ten times an hour. Because of this they simply can’t be trusted. The only sure way to get your man to admit he has depleting from his little balls of desire is to take a hold of them and squeeze while you look him in the eye. It’s the only way he will tell you the truth.

I once discovered my husband masturbating the very next day after we had just had sex. I made him put his CB on immediately. Since that time I make sure that his base ring is never removed for any reason except at my permission for soreness or chaffing. I also make sure his cage gets locked back on immediately after sex a release.

Now I know that he can’t steal any of his desire from those little balls. I get the full potential that they produce.
Think of a man’s balls like a savings account. Would you leave you savings account in a bank that only paid 1% when you could have it in a bank that paid 4%? Of course not! That’s what locking your mans penis in a CB does. It increases the interest his balls produce. It makes them produce about four times as much.
Does your bank charge you a service fee? How about a per check charge? For deposits or withdrawals? For phone calls? If they did you would certainly switch banks right! So why should you allow your man to make withdrawals from his bank account of desire that he has for you.

That’s just it you shouldn’t! You need to put a stop to it and right now too. As soon as I started to make my husband put his cage back on after he had come I knew I would be seeing the interest sooner. Don’t you want your husband to produce interest for you?

If your man has seems to have lost interest, you had better take measures to make sure its not being spent elsewhere.

Ever since I started to lock my man’s little tool up after a release about two years ago I have been a much happier woman. The interest he shows I can see grow day by day. In fact I now have him on a once a month only release schedule so that I can collect all that extra interest. I can see it grow day by day as his need increases. I like seeing my man’s interest accumulate so much that I really hate to make that withdrawal at the end of each month.

Recently I have been charging him demerits for things not done or not done to my standards. I also keep track of any time he talks poorly around me. I add one day at the end of his month each demerit.

The first time I did this he had to wait an extra three weeks before I would consider unlocking him. After four weeks his little peter was crying and dripping its tears, in honor of its love for me. After all that time it was hardly worth it too because he came in just three strokes of my hand after I had removed his cage. Before he could come back to Earth I was already locking the cage back on his wilting little flower lubed by the large mess he had made.

Because I had started this demerit program that had real consequences that affected his release time the next month he had almost none. He made a drastic improvement and continues to do so. Today he never says a bad word, and does all my chores first before doing any of his own.

You might ask if I miss having his cock all the time, No, I don’t! Because I had implemented the demerit program I thought there should also be an incentive program to go with it. As an incentive I give my husband (one day) subtracted from his time for every five oral orgasms he gives me. They only count if he is naked, kneels and asks my permission to please me first. This really works better for me anyway because his tongue is just as long as his penis.

Because my husband is now always in his chastity device for three to six weeks I have another way to get him to try to please me even more. I just tell him, "Honey if you can’t keep me orally satisfied I might have to get a another man since your little peter has to stay locked up! I bet he’d be bigger too, and you don’t want me to ever have a good sized one because I might not want yours anymore!"

You should see him do his best to please me in any way he can after kidding him about sex with another man. What was that saying? The Golden Rule. She who holds the gold makes the rules. Perhaps we should amend that to read, The Golden Key Rule: She who holds the Golden Key makes all the rules!
I know its true too because I really do make all the rules. You can too, all you have to do is get yourself a golden key, chastity key that is.

Malelesbian???

2005-01-29T21:38:00.000-08:00

YES, THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A MALE LESBIAN. A male lesbian is a cross dresser or a male who enjoys wearing panties and maybe nylons under their clothes, "THIS DOES NOT MAKE THEM GAY" JUST BECAUSE THEY LIKE WOMEN'S CLOTHES!!!! Male lesbians are not attracted to men, let me explain something. Each man and each woman has a certain amount of male and female hormones, sometimes the balance gets tipped one way or the other, you have seen it, the effeminent man, the butch girl, Mr. Macho, Miss Sexy, this is hormones that have created this, and the assocated behavior. A male lesbian likes feminine things, like's to dress up or just wear panties, AND THEY LOVE WOMEN! Their favorite thing to do would be to have a woman FORCE (I will explain this more a little later on) them to dress up like a woman, crawl in bed with you and give you oral sex until you can't stand it anymore. Make love to you the way a woman would. Have you make them roll over in bed snuggle up and lay that way, without you giving them a orgasm. HARD TO BELIEVE but its true. They would love for you to" MAKE" them wear a steel chastity device around their little dickies and lock it away, so they can let the feminine side of them loose. This kind of activity makes most women shutter and they think it is repulsive, this is because it has been beat into her head by society that this is wrong for a male to act this way, therefore it is wrong for me to act this way with him and do these things.Let me tell you, this life here is no prelude to better things to come. This is it, so live it. What goes on behind closed doors is nobodys business but your own. Drop those old feelings and start having some fun, now I am not saying dress him all up and parade him down the street (unless you want to). Just sometime try putting him in a pair of panties use some wide medical white tape and fasten his little dickie back between his legs, put a bra on him, nylons, a wig and some makeup. You might be surprised at what you end up with, you need to understand that he only sees what his body looks like when he looks down he is not seeing 5 o'clock shadow, he sees breasts and nothing jutting out between his legs this is all the stimulation he needs to become feminine, he smells perfume and tastes lipstick that is on him, he feels feminine, now take him/her to bed help make him feel feminine, remember not to treat him like a male, you may want to have him use a strap on dildo for your pleasure if you like entrance. Never allow him to use his real thing. (you may never go back to straight sex again). Let him know this is for YOUR pleasure only, not his, that he can expect nothing more from you than what another women would get, like breast stimulation rubbing your hand down where his dickie used to be. He will fall in love with you all over I promise!!!

***************************************************************NOW I AM GOING TO REALLY CONFUSE YOU, SO STAY WITH ME HERE OK?? HE WANTS TO DO THIS FEMININE THING, remember when we talked about the hormone thing? He has female hormones screaming at him to do this feminine thing, but the lack of exceptance from society is screaming louder, that this is not exceptable behavior, not normal. This is where the "FORCED WOMANHOOD" thing comes in, once the bedroom door is closed YOU become his society, if you can make him believe that this is something you want to do, this will remove the tabboo from the act. If you can get past this tabboo in both your minds you are on your way to having the most fun you have ever had with sex. He will be hesitant at first, because of the male libo. Coax him a little or demand that he do this (this works much better than coaxing) he needs to think that this is something you want him to do, this makes it ok in his mind, you have removed the tabboo and you are his society his only audience. You may find this funny or repulsive at first, but you must not let on, you will not find it so funny or repulsive when he/she starts bringing you to some mind rocketing fantastic orgasms, the one thing you need to remember is to relaxand enjoy this, it has been made plain to him from the start that all the pleasure is for you and he will not be having any orgasms. All of us women have had fantasies about doing it with another woman at one time or another or at least have been attracted and curious about what it would feel like to kiss another woman, to taste her lipstick, feel her breasts close to yours, what it would be like making love to her. Now is your chance, turn down the lights and start pretending, it is only you and him/her, two of you enjoying sex without all the judging that society does, let him/her please you, the more you get into it the more you will enjoy it. NOW IT IS OK TO DO, because it is with someone you trust. Ok, so now you know there is such a thing as a male lesbian, remember just because you dressed him/her all up in womens clothes he is not going to go out chasing men. Don't get me wrong there are gay men out there also, and gay men who like to dress as a woman, but there are also male lesbians. If he is gay you proably already know it anyway!!!! If you find you like this type of play you may want to take it a little further by boosting his female hormone level causing him to sprout small breasts for you to play with. NOT ALL MALES HAVE THIS IMBALANCE OF HORMONES and some wish only for chastity, for other reasons. MALE LESBIANS MAKE THE BEST LOVERS, THEY ARE GENTLE, LOVING, AND UNDERSTANDING, MY TWO PERMANENTLY CHASTISED FEMINIZED SHE/MALES ARE MALE LESBIANS, AND I WOULD HAVE IT NO OTHER WAY.

INFORMATION FOR WIVES AND GIRLFRIENDS ON WHY TO CHASTISE A MAN

2005-01-29T21:34:00.000-08:00

WELL I SEE HE GOT YOU OVER HERE TO SEE THIS WEB PAGE, AND YOU ARE PROBABLY WONDERING WHAT IN THE HELL IS CHASTITY, OR WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO CHASTISE HIM?? This information is here to help you understand why it is so important to chastise your husband or your boyfriend. I put this information up as much for you, as well as for him, he has a real hard time explaining to you why he would want you to chastise him, so I am going to help him out here, and quite possibly make you happier than you have been in years. First let me ask you some questions and if you answer yes to 75% of them you will want to go on and read the second half of this page, if you didn't answer yes to at least the 75% you should probably not read the second half because you will probably be offended and you are a prude or carry ice around in your panties

1. Do you ever wish he was more romantic?

2. Do you ever wish that you could be held, cuddled and would like to make-out with him like you used to do, without being expected to have sex with him, doesn't it feel good to be just turned on for a while with out having that old built in feeling of "take care of your man" care for his little male release?

3. Do you every wish he would treat you better when you are out and around other people?

4. Do you ever wish he would be more helpful around the house, get the yard and house like you want them?

5. Do you ever worry when he is "just out with the boys", "went fishing" "got to go out of town this week end" Ever wonder what he was really doing???

6. Do you remember when you were first dating him? How sweet he was? How he would do anything to get in your pants? Remember all the foreplay ohhhhh yes the foreplay??? Would you like it to be like that again??

7. Do you ever wish he wouldn't do stupid things like, speeding, drinking and driving, getting rowdy, loud, and want to start a fight, don't you just hate this from a man, MR.MACHO????

8. Do you ever wish things could be a little bit more your way, like instead of arguing, or hollering at you, you had the upper hand and the final say after listening to his side of the story, for a change?

9. Do you ever notice how friendly and nice he was before he went in to the shower and then after he has spent to much time in there, he comes out not so friendly and he seems a little nervous? Guess what he's been doing honey?

10. Do you ever worry that he is having a sexual relation with someone other than you?

WOMEN ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT - NO MEN ALLOWEDWell I see you are still here! So here goes honey, things are about to get a whole lot better around your house. I am about to tell you some things about men that they cannot or will not tell you and some of it you may find repulsive and shocking at first. Lets start with the questions that are outlined above.

1. Men are driven by their testosterone level, when you have him chastised, he cannot be taking the matter into his own hands, believe me he does, he won't be spending time having fantasies about some other bimbo and wacking off in the bathroom. And he will spend that time and that energy being romantic.

2.When you have him chastised you will find that a big change will come over him. Men have this built in thing about their sexuality, and they live in fear of failure to perform, so they try to shy away from kissing and cuddling except when they are horney, and they would rather pick-up there favorite dirty mag and head off somewhere and wack off, then they would give you the attention you deserve, they would rather be horse whipped than tell you what their real fantasies are. So once you have him chastised he will pay a lot more attention to you. He really enjoys you making out with him and getting all turned on, but it has always been so easy before just to jump on board and "wham bam thank you mame" or just take care of the matter himself. Now with him all locked safely away, it takes the burden of performance off him, and it also relieves you of that old feeling of "take care of your man" and you don't have to have all that sticky mess to clean up. If you want more than just a little kissing and cuddling, get him to do a little tongue exercise, he will love to do it as this is the only sexual outlet he has, because you have locked up his favorite outlet, the longer you leave him locked up the more his testosterone level rises, and the more attention he will pay to you.

3.He will have a whole new outlook on life after you have him chastised, after all you have the key to his favorite toy, and if he does not treat you properly when you are out and around other people you could say something like, well that just cost you a few extra days, and then you leave him locked away from his sexual release day a few extra days, believe me he will only do this once.

4.You will get all the help you want around the house and get him to do all the chores you want done, simply tell him he will have to earn his little rewards, believe me after you have had him locked up for about a week he will begin to think of you as a Goddess, and will be glad to help you around the house.

5.This one is so great, when he is out with the boys all day you must admit that you wonder what he is really doing? is he cheating on me? When he is chastised you know for sure he is not dropping his drawers for some other woman, with a chastity device locked on his "little pride and joy".

6.Do you remember what it was like, how exciting it was when you were first dating him, and all his desires were directed at you? Well it can be that way again, lets face it all the new has worn off and the chase is over for him, he has conquered you. As soon as you have chastised him he will have to do this all over again, he will have to woe you and coe you to get you to unlock him. Remember this one thing, and this is one of those things he doesn't want you to know, and something you are going to find repulsive, left unchecked he jacks off a lot, it is true, a male thinks about sex 65% of the time. And it is to easy for him to slip off and do his thing, as soon as you put a stop to this you will be amazed at how much attention he will pay to you, and how much more energy he will have. Masturbating saps a lot of his energy. If you don't believe he does this just get him in bed and get him all "REVVED" up and start playing with him and then take his hand and put it over and replace your hand with his, kind of hold your hand over his, act like this really turns you on, moan a little, then when he is really going, stop him and start asking him questions, like do you ever do this by your self? He will be hesitant at first, but act like the idea really turns you on. YOU WILL SEE. He can't help but tell you truth.

7.Yes the stupid things he does. Let me tell you the last thing he wants to do is be searched and have a police officer find a little piece of steel around his dickie, or to go to jail and remove all his clothes in front of everyone, his whole attitude will change once you have him chastised. And he sure don't want to risk a fight where he may get kicked on his thing.

8.This question almost answers it's self, if you have him chastised things will be your way, or he doesn't get to play on his release day.

9.Guess why he was in the shower so long? Yep, he was at it again, and you are thinking not my John or Paul or?? It is true, believe me. YOU NEED TO STOP HIM FROM DOING THIS, AND HE WANTS YOU TO STOP HIM FROM DOING THIS. This is why he brought you over and showed you this page to start with. Masturbating is something he feels guilty about doing every time he does it, but he cannot help himself. It is probably hard for you to understand this, it was very hard for me to understand, but I have about 35 males who I hold the key for, and I have come to understand a lot about what makes a male tick. You will be amazed at the things you can get them to tell you once you have CONTROL of their favorite toy.

10. Do you ever worry about him having a sexual affair with some one other than you, maybe even bringing you home some nasty disease? Once you have him all locked safely away the burden of worry is taken off your shoulders, and you may not even realized it was there to begin with, it is something we women tend to try not to think about. Ok so now you know all their little secrets, and you know what to do about it, you have to ask yourself a question, Do I want things to keep going on like they are or do I want to be happier, do I really want to put a new spark in our sex life? What if I want more sex than every 30 days? Why would he want to wear a steel tube around his dick. Well do you want to be happier and have him pay more attention to you? Do you need a new spark in you relationship? If you want more sex than every 30 days he will learn to give you the best oral sex you have ever had. And seeing as he can't please you with his little dickie as it is all locked away, send him trotting down to the adult bookstore and have him pick you up a nice strap on dildo just the size you like, strap it on him and have him use that, it has lots of advantages like it don't wear out , and doesn't go soft just when things were starting to get real good, there is no little male messes to clean up afterward, the list goes on and on. Now the question as to why he would wear a steel tube around his dick? No doubt he brought you over to this page to start with right? He wants to be locked up and belong to you, he wants to feel safe, he wants to stop feeling guilty about masturbating, he wants to have more energy toward you, he wants to feel safe from having a affair with another woman. You know what the next step is, "SO DO IT".

CHASTITY: THE CONTROL OF MALE MASTURBATION AND ORGASM

2005-01-29T21:23:00.000-08:00

I have received hundreds of letters from women who have purchased a chastity device, praising the design and the effect it has on their mate. In those letters, the one thing they all regret - they wish they would have bought one years ago. They also write to tell me how they are using their chastity device in their relationship on their male, and what specific techniques work best for them. The following is intended to be only a starting map of those ideas. I require my men to wear a chastity device. I love the result this devious little device has on them and I love what it does for me, or should I say what he did for me when he wore it and believe me, if you follow these suggestions, you will absolutely love this little thing also.

The purpose of a chastity device is to provide a cosmetically appealing, safe, and totally secure device which will control your partner’s orgasms. When you require your partner to wear a chastity device, he will not be able to see his penis, he will not be able to touch his penis (not where it will do him any good anyway), and it will absolutely deny him the control to masturbate to orgasm by himself

The cornerstone of understanding why this device is so effective is two fold, and cannot be over stated: 1) A chastity device allows you to totally control your partner’s masturbation. Your ability to now control your partner’s masturbation and to provide the only relief for him, is a powerful tool. Few women ever come to realize how important masturbation-denial really is. Most women believe they have control over sex in the relationship and they incorrectly feel this gives them some sort of control. Controlling sex is not the same as controlling your partner’s orgasms. Just because you are controlling sex, don’t be misled into thinking that your partner is not orgasming without you. Most women just don’t realize how much most males masturbate. And, they certainly would never admit to themselves that their man is doing it. After all, you’re not doing it, and you wait for sex with him. Shouldn’t he be waiting faithfully for you? Well, wake up honey and smell the COFFEE. Recent studies show that it is not uncommon for males between the ages of 25 and 40 to masturbate at least 3 times per day. This shocks a lot of women. I hope it doesn’t shock you, because not only is this normal, it is so very important that you know how much your man masturbates, and what a huge part it plays in his life. Because , you are about to deny him a tremendously significant act, and not only that, you are going to control when, and how much he can orgasm.

OK, so now you know the naked truth about what a big deal masturbation is to men. Next, lets talk about what men are doing when they are masturbating. Remember, that the studies show that men fantasize when they masturbate. They fantasize about everything, everyone and anything, when they enter their favorite personal fantasy sex world. I like to call this their personal masturbatory fantasy world. Again, don’t bother asking him about what he fantasizes about, he’ll only tell you its always just about you sweety. I’ll tell you this: His fantasies may very well have you in them, but you probably would be surprised at all the dirty little things you do for him and maybe who joins you. It isn’t important to know what he fantasizes about, what is important, is to know that this is what all males do when they masturbate, and yes, your sweet guy also does some of this himself.
Finally, we are going to get to the good stuff that applies to you. So, we now know that your partner masturbates without you, and enters what ever perverted personal masturbatory fantasy world he wants. You are now going to control his trips to that world. From day one, your male will not be going there anymore. He now has to take you with him when he goes. Don’t you just love it! No more escape trips with out your say so. Oh sure, he will still fantasize about what ever he wants during the day, but he won’t be masturbating while he is doing it. And believe me, fantasy without masturbation doesn’t even come close to fantasy with masturbation. You are denying him an intense stimulation. By denying him this stimulation you will create a stimulation void in his mind. Something will have to rush in, to fill that void. A new fantasy will start to fill that spot, and that fantasy is inescapable for him. It will push it’s way into his mind no matter what he tries to think about. It will start to obsess him and control his thoughts in the way his old fantasies did. It can not be denied. It always happens this way. And the best part, it will happen to your male too. And all you had to do so far is to place him in chastity under your control.

What is that new fantasy? GODDESS YOU! Automatically, he will be having deep fantasies about you. About the Goddess he always knew you were. About the control that you have over him. You are now going to be viewed in a different way. You want to talk about body worship. Your male is going to see your body as the sexiest thing in the universe. Why? Because you aren’t competing with his false fantasies anymore. He is now looking at living flesh. Men don’t realize that if they would just stop fantasizing all the time, and allow themselves to be intimate with their partner (like we already do) it is way more intense. But, your male is no different. He will just think that you are now incredibly erotic, powerful and sexy. He will attribute this to a thing. His chastity device. The stupid idiot won’t attribute it to intimacy. He will only figure out, that this new game you are playing with him, really turns him on. He will enjoy his new fantasies much more than the old one dimensional ones. He won’t even know that you just replaced his old ones with you! Don’t let him in on this intimacy-thing he is feeling. You can’t get him to understand it anyway, and if you could, it would never last - it never does without chastity control. Make him think it is all about the fact that you started taking control over his masturbation. Tell him how much you enjoy this new control and that things will never be the way they were - so just forget about ever touching yourself without your permission. Tell him often that you control his masturbation. Use that word a lot. It makes most men uncomfortable. Tell him that you will decide from now on, when he will get to cum, if ever. Of course, you will let him cum, just don’t tell him this. Although in the beginning it really doesn’t hurt to make him wait for three months. My experience shows that it take about three months to get him totally out of his personal masturbation fantasy world. Tell him how much more you like him this way, and that you find that the more you let him cum the worse he acts toward you.

After a few days of chastity the poor boy will start going out of his mind and the gentle caressing and kissing and cooing will start - trust me again on this, it will start. Tell your partner you love the way he has been paying attention to your body, and you love the caressing and massaging he has been doing to you lately. Act self-confidant, arrogant, and in control. Remember, men love what they can’t have and that goes for women too. Talk to him often about the power you have. Act like a Goddess. Let the body worshipping begin!

Make your girlfriends jealous by telling them how at the end of a long day your guy massages your feet or gives you long body massages and doesn’t even have to be asked. Or, train your partner to massage your feet on-the-spot any time you say, “Wearing high heels makes my feet ache.” Then, say it when one of your girlfriends are over and make them jealous, and embarrass and humiliate him.

There is a great test to see if the chastity device has brought your male’s mind to the point of true Goddess Body Worshipping. In other words: Is your partner’s mind consumed and fixated on your physical image yet? Try this: Pick an erotic part of your body and tell your partner you want him to do something as a gesture of his gratitude, for this wonderful thing you are doing for him (not letting him masturbate! Tell him you want him to pay tribute to this part of yourself every time he sees you. Here are some ideas women have sent me. One women makes her husband kiss her bare pussy every time he gets into bed with her in the evening. She just opens her legs out of habit every time he gets in bed. When she wants him to stop she says, “ thank you.” If, she decides she wants more, she simply says “continue.” She has a beautiful orgasms any night she wants as she falls asleep. And poor hubby goes to bed very turned on and horny. Poor boy. One woman makes her boy friend get on his knees, and kiss the toe of her right high heel shoe or boot when she comes home from work in the evening. If she holds her left boot out for worship, he knows she plans on doing something that evening he is not going to like very much! Now think one up on your own. Don’t add such things as making him massage you and bath you. While these ideas are good, and I expect you to train him to do these things(these are some of the other things that are in it for you), remember, in this section we are addressing his need to have intense fantasies right now. Don’t be afraid to have him do all of these, and add more as you think of them. Above all, even if this behavior amuses you and makes you laugh, don’t let on. Tell him how much it turns you on, and that it makes you wet when you think about him doing these things. He should feel that this really pleases you. If he forgets, simply mention that you will be punishing him or extending the amount of time until orgasm for the oversight.
This is where I lose a lot of non-dominant women. Naturally-dominant and controlling women will absolutely love the previous body worshipping ideas. The power exchange turns them on. For those of you that think this is cruel, humiliating, or embarrassing - it is. That’s the point. You just took away all of your man’s intense fantasies, you now are starting to reprogram his fantasies with intense ones that revolve around you. What better intense fantasy is there, than having him programmed to worship one of your erotic body parts. Sure, it’s a little kinky, but it’s effect is very intense. And, no matter what he tries to tell you about this, insist he does it without being asked, or he won’t be cuming until he does! Now, what fantasy do you think he will be thinking about at work tomorrow, and every day for the rest of his life. He is now starting to develop what I like to call his Goddess Body Worshipping Fantasy about you. Score round one for our side.

Goddess Body Worshipping Fantasies about you are going to be very intense for your male. I believe it is enhanced by the endorphins released by your body. Tap into this fact. Use your pussy sent on him. Don’t be embarrassed or shy about this. I almost always make it point to straddle my male's face once during sex. The sent drives him wild. I also, love to have him kiss my pussy. Some times I make him get down on his knees just as he is going out the door for work and I rub his nose in my pussy. Don’t think he doesn’t think of me and my Goddess Body all day long. We are talking intense Goddess Body Worshipping Fantasies all day long! A great masturbation technique that focuses my male's fantasies on my body, happens when I have my him tied spread eagle on the bed, enduring one of my long, frustrating, masturbation sessions. He always has his penis gag in his mouth, as I have long ago got tired of his directions, moaning, pleading, and whining. If I am going to indulge his masturbation fantasies, I alone control every aspect, and he always wears the gag. The gag I use, doesn’t have a ball on it. I don’t like the look of those, and I have found that my male can talk and breath around this type. I use a thick penis style gag, that is held in by a 2 1/2 inch strap that covers the gag when it is in his mouth. It looks a lot better, and I don’t have to listen to him! OK. so where was I - oh yeah, he is tied spread eagle with a gag. Next, after a long stretch of expert teasing to warm him up, I straddle his head and sit on his forhead facing his feet, so my pussy is directly over his nose. Since, this type of gag doesn’t allow him to breath through his mouth, he breaths my pussy scent directly through his nose until I descried he has only me on his mind. While I’m masturbating him within an inch of orgasm after near orgasm, I will spread my lips so he gets to enjoy all those endorhines. Sorry, no orgasm tonight. Good night. What’s that your trying to say? Remove the gag? I’m sorry, I can’t tell what your saying. You know, I wouldn’t always gag him, but he’s never learned the following proper submissive etiquette: It’s not polite to talk until your Mistress has dismounted!

This exchange of power is intoxicating for men. Men love and worship power. You now have a type of ultimate power over his weak little mind. Men tell me this is a very strong and erotic fantasy. Further, by controlling your partners ability to masturbate, and keeping him out of his fantasy world, he will have no other choice but to join you in the real world of your relationship and all the intimacies that he normally can escapes from, when he masturbates in his fantasy world. It is important to understand this, and use it to turn his affections away from his fantasies and redirect them to center totally on you and your fantasies. He needs to fantasize about, and worship your body and the goddess he knows you are. You and I are going to reprogram years of behavior and slowly get your male to be turned on by you alone. He is going to start to actually get aroused by pleasing your fantasy. You will also greatly highten his responce to you. He will become more sensitive to your wants, your needs, your moods, and even subtle things like your scent. We will program him to be physically turned on when he touches, massages, caresses, and fondles you. Slow kissing and embraces will find its way into your relationship. Does this sound like any of the men you have ever met? Didn’t think so. Do you want the man in your life to become this wonderful person? All women do but few ever really figure it out. And here is the best part. A chastity device does almost all the work for you.

So far, everything I have been telling you about has to do with masturbation, and your male’s fantasies. Part one is all about realizing the male has intense fantasies, allowing him to have them, but reshaping them around you and your Goddess Body. Give them to him, and make them kinky, dirty, and intense. If he is only fantasizing about you now, then you and the chastity device are doing their jobs. Remember, control of your male’s fantasy masturbation world is the key. In part 2, I will tell you about orgasm control, and the power it will give you to get the things you want and need in your relationship.

PART 2
A chastity device allows you to totally control when and how often you let your partner orgasms. Masturbation control is about reprogramming fantasies. Orgasm control, on the other hand, is all about power. Men are generally selfish bullies. Only because of their physical size, and their stubbornness, do they wield power over us. Even the best and most sensitive ones never really grow up and become giving, sharing partners. They only want to give you the things they think you want, and they are clumsy and greedy at it as well. They may well be good men and providers, but males aren’t very good at adult intimate relationships. These are the facts, and I have learned this over many years of personal experiences, and talking with hundreds of women. Like the reality of masturbation, this is the reality of our selfish male partners.

Orgasm control is a simple concept, and it is easy to understand why it works, because all women have experienced it’s benefits. Unlike the secret world of male masturbation, orgasm control is embarrassingly obvious to women. It’s this simple: The male can be wonderful, caring, giving, kind, and can be honestly interested in your feelings and in pleasing you, until he has his orgasm. Then, the other side of his brain takes over, and you can just through all that loving caring crap right out the window! All women understand this, and I know you do too.

This is the way male sexual response works. Before orgasm, the male body system that drives the sexual excitation phase of erection, also changes male brain chemistry, filling the male mind with loving tender feelings. After orgasm, the male body system that controls climax, fills the male mind with cold insensitive feelings. There is well accepted medical knowledge regarding this. It is all tied to the human response referred to as the fight or flight/feed or breed system. You can read more about this on your own. By the way, it will come as no surprise to you that the women’s sexual response system doesn’t quite work this way.

See, I told you it would be easy to figure out the basis of orgasm control. Before orgasm - the male is sweet, tender, kind, and giving. After orgasm - selfish asshole. So, what you need to do is keep that sweetheart male of yours, in his pre-orgasm excited stage, and keep him out of his post-orgasm asshole stage. Got it? It’s simple, really.

Control those orgasms girls. Deny your male orgasms as long as you can, and you will automatically see the positive benefits from this, in the way your male acts toward you. You will have the sweetest man you could ever dream of. Now, while he is so responsive to you, start to suggest specific things that you would like him to do for you, like holding and kissing you more. Tell him to think more romantically and to take you out to dinner more. Tell him you want him to start taking the initiative in ravaging you and carrying you into the bedroom. If you keep this up long enough, you can reprogram male behavior and make this part of your male’s personality. In this area, I won’t go into detailed examples like I did for you in the section on controlling his masturbation fantasies. You know what you want in this area, now go for it.

The second benefit of orgasm control, is the power it gives you. This area is the easiest to understand, and is straight forward. You now can exert a great deal of your will over your partner. Simply, ask your male to perform what ever task you desire, and use the leverage of orgasm denial to persuade him. For example, ask him to make dinner, or clean the house. If he balks, just tell him you added another day or week to his orgasm day. Then, start giving him expected or scheduled tasks. Things you expect him to do without you having to ask. You can demand practical tasks, your sexual wants, Goddess Body Worshipping acts, and of course kinky masturbation fantasy concepts.

Here are some ideas I use along with some sent to me: Set up a massage schedule. Fire your cleaning service and make him clean the house dressed as your maid once a week. Make him cook dinner once a week dressed as what ever turns you on. Throw out all his ugly underwear and make him wear only g-strings. Make him wear your pantyhose to work once a week. Set up a bath night, and make him your tub slave. Make him come up with ideas of things to do together when you have time off. Throw all your dirty lingerie in one hamper, and make it his responsibility to wash and put it away.

This centers him on you, your body and your scent. Men also fantasize about women and their lingerie. Make him shave you on bath night. Make him shave himself, and punishing him if you ever feel rough legs. Make him lay out all your boots and have him clean and polish them. Set-up a dinner party with all your girls friends, and make him cook dinner for everyone wearing what ever you dare. Then make him serve everyone and wait on everyone. Be sure to make him do the dishes while your girlfriends are still there. Detail what you expect of him beforehand so there won’t be a need to reprimand him in front of the girls - and make him wear a butt-plug for good measure. The ideas of things you can get him to do, go on and on. Where possible try to include one of your fantasy masturbation ideas.

Next, I want to warn you about one of the downsides to chastity. And, it is one of my biggest pet peeves. It has to do with a type of behavior that men exhibit when you deny their orgasm for any period of time. I know your male is going to pull this on you too. What I’m referring to, is when men start to ask or suggest things that I should do to them. Then they start to whine about it. Remember, you are in control of everything all of the time. There are going to be times when you only want your male to act as a kind gentle loving person. Other than the jobs you have predetermined that he has to routinely perform, you don’t want to hear him trying to manipulate you into doing something that you are not in the mood for. Further, it might be that you may be in the mood to indulge his personal masturbation fantasies with a request for him to perform, or you may be planing to masturbate him, but you don’t want him trying to manipulate your plans.

There are times when I ask for input or want to know what my male likes (as you know from the masturbation section - you really have no idea what kinky little fantasies your male dreams of.) There are also times when it is fine for my male to express his wants and needs. But, there are two times when it just totally pisses me off. The first, is when I’m just not in the mood to be in his personal masturbation fantasy world. I simply want to enjoy the loving man who I have coaxed out of his shell. After all, that is in large part what this is all about. The second, is when I am masturbating him. During these sessions I am in total control of his fantasy, and I am directing the whole scene for him. I don’t want him slipping back into what ever he was used to thinking about when he masturbated himself. As I stated before, he is never going to ever direct his own fantasies again. I am now his fantasy, I will be the overpowering image for him, and I alone control where his mind will go.
Here is how to handle this quickly and easily. Gag him. When my male pulls this, I let him know that I don’t want to indulge his masturbation fantasies right now. If he continues just once more, I get up, and go get his gag. I do it myself even though it would easier to have him do it, because I don’t want to negotiate it or discuss it or hear his whining. I come back quickly, open his mouth and shove the thick penis into his mouth, strap it on and lock it. Done. I don’t have to listen to anymore and it doesn’t ruin my mood. In fact, I now demand Goddess Body Worship on the spot, usually foot worship while I watch TV, read, or work at my computer. Or, if I am just totally sick and tired if the hinting and suggestions, (this is usually when I just don’t want to have anything to do with domination) I take him to the bedroom and into the closet, and lock the D-ring on the top of the gag (which is located on the top of his head), to a ring I have in the floor of the closet. I just leave him there for a few hours or until I go to bed. Remember, never leave your mate alone when gagged. I leave the closet door open just enough so I can see him from the bed. I don’t hear a lot about domination for quite some time after doing this. I highly recommend doing one or both of these when ever you first start to hear your man verbalizing about what he expects you to do. You don’t have to listen to this sort of thing when you are not in the mood for it.

Now you have a basic understanding of the game plan you need to follow if you are going to place your male in a chastity device. Remember the difference between masturbation control, and orgasm control. Don’t ever, ever, let your male masturbate. This is the only hard and fast rule. This is how you control his fantasies. Orgasm control is a different issue. How often you let your man orgasm is up to you. You have total control of your male. Use orgasm control to get what you want, to control his behavior, and especially to have fun. For me, I have so much fun driving my male out of his mind after only a few days without an orgasm. I still can’t believe men can’t stand to go more than a few days without masturbating. I can’t tell you how I love to see him frustrated. I think it has to do with the fact that I went for weeks without orgasms, and I always thought he was doing the same. Now, I know he was masturbating behind my back to relieve himself. Well, no more. I want him to know exactly how I was feeling all those years. Making him stay excited and frustrated all the time gets me off. Drives him nuts, and I just love it! Hey, he’s lucky. I have women who write to tell me that they make their men go months and some don’t ever let their men come, ever. That’s the best part, you describe what schedule works best for you and your male.

Now a word about security. I use the chastity device that is secured by a piercing. It is fairly easy for me to slip on and off him. Every time, I let him out I secure him. All I do is use a simple pair of handcuffs. He gets them, and locks his hands. Then, I unlock his chastity device. He can sleep, shower or whatever, but he doesn’t get out of the handcuffs until I lock him back up. I can’t tell you how important this is, both for security and to your male’s psyche. Your male needs to know he can’t get out, and you won’t give him the chance to escape. This is what makes it real for him and this is what will terrify him to the maximum. This is how you get him to obey you right now without question. This is what makes it all work. Don’t let your male think this is a game. You let him know you are pissed about his masturbation and you feel as if he has been cheating on you. And, rather than leave him, you are going to try to see if it will put a stop to his cheating. You don’t have to really feel this way, just use this as a way of telling him how important it is to you that you unlock him only when his hands are tied, that way you will have a way of getting him back into his chastity device. Except for masturbation sessions, he doesn’t have to be tied to anything. If he wants the handcuffs off to go to work, for example, he has to let you put him back into his chastity device.

I have women who write me and tell me that they go as far as blindfolding their men when they let them out. They feel that they don’t want their men thinking at all about themselves. These men not only haven’t touched themselves for months, some haven’t even seen their penis for years! I have thought about doing this. I might try it for a few months sometime, it sounds like fun. Maybe, I’ll use this idea as a punishment for some dilinguency or impropriety of some sort.

A MARRIED WOMAN’S GUIDE TO A HAPPIER MORE FULFILLING RELATIONSHIP

2005-01-29T20:57:00.000-08:00

Introduction; Courtship and Romance
“All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.” Anonymous
Once upon a time, you'll remember, your husband would bring you flowers, open doors for you and generally offer you his open and sincere heart. If your marriage is like most marriages it has grown comfortable and, let's admit it, stale, over time. “The thrill is gone,” is the lament of so many married couples. Familiarity and routine, recriminations and disappointments, take a predictable toll on happy-every-after relationships. Husbands and wives drift apart, physically and emotionally, or maintain alliances of custom and convenience, keepers of a flickering flame. By the time you hit midlife, your marriage is “settled” and most often things start to cool down. Certain aspects become repetitive as people take each other for granted. The love may still be there but it is a less passionate, more platonic love; a familiar love. In the most negative instances this can lead to increasing unhappiness and frustration and ultimately, in the worst case scenario, infidelity and divorce. Even in the best cases, I will offer, it is less of a marriage than it could be.

If you don't believe me, allow me to refresh your memory a little. I am now talking to women who are married or who were married before. Remember when you were first dating? Remember how accommodating your future husband was and how all his desires were directed at you? Think back... Remember how he was so sweet and kind. Remember how he used to bring you flowers or little gifts? He would do whatever you wanted to do and go wherever you wanted to go. Do you remember what it was like, how exciting it all was? Remember your wedding day, and the love and romance of your honeymoon? Remember that? Remember how much you loved him then? Let me ask you this. Has it changed? If so, what do you think changed?

Of course once you got married, your day-to-day interactions will almost always have changed, become more domestic. Maybe relatives or in-laws took more of your time and in many cases children entered the mix. Regardless of this evolution, almost certainly your husband’s attitude changed, didn't he?

1.Did he tend to ignore you?

2.Did more and more often something become a fight and/or an argument?

3.Did he become a little more selfish?

4.Did he start to disrespect you in private or maybe even in public?

5.Maybe he started to hang around his friends again or he watched television all the time or he played video games or he surfed the web continuously.

6.Did he become absorbed with work and work related activities?

7.Did he start to refuse to go with you to visit your friends and family?

8.Did he refuse to go with you shopping or to the places that he once loved to go along with you just to be near you?

9.Did the flowers and gifts stop?

10.Maybe he became cheap and tight with money?

11.Then there is the sex. Sex used to happen anywhere or anytime, used to last all night and be so exciting. Now, has it become boring, predictable and fast?

Perhaps you have asked your self, what happened to the passion? What happened to the romantic guy that you were dating? While it is unlikely that all of the above symptoms apply in your particular circumstance, I’m sure virtually every married woman will be able to point to some of the above as prevalent in her marriage.

There seems a sad inevitability in all this. Most wives assume that this is the natural course of marriage like the erosion of a rock by a river or the fading of paint in the sunlight. Love has its seasons, as John Gray reminds us in “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”. It's folly to expect eternal springtime, perpetual romance. Most marriage counselors would agree. Divorce attorneys can be even more pragmatic. They know that once the cancer of disaffection has spread, the damage is almost always irreversible.

What if?

But what if it's not necessarily true? What if love can be rekindled, even the all-consuming passion of first love? And not rekindled briefly, for just a season, but “ever after,” creating that fairytale future couples dream about when saying their vows? As you ask yourself the above questions, think about how exciting and fulfilling your life and your relationship could be if this were possible. Well, the answer is that it can be exactly like this if this is what you want.

This is not fantasy. This is not theory. The wisdom I share is based on the experience of real wives in a variety of real marriages. This is an important point because as you read this, at first you may not believe it will work or think that it may work for someone else but not for you. If you are skeptical I can only urge that you set aside your skepticism long enough to read, understand, and experiment with the ideas we will discuss. You will be able to reduce your skepticism by taking small steps to gain confidence and satisfying yourself that what I say not only is true but that it does apply to your specific situation.

The fact of the matter is that it is not the absence of love that grinds relationships downward towards tedious routine. Rather, it is a consequence of something that most couples leave behind when they become married:

Courtship.
Courtship was 15 or 16 years ago for my wife and me,” one husband eloquently testified. “Now that we are married, courtship seems a distant memory.”

Consider also the following excerpt from a recent letter to an advice columnist

Dear Ann Landers: I have been married for three years, and my husband and I recently had a baby boy. I adore being a mother, but lately, I've begun to have serious questions about my marriage.

“All the romance and passion have dwindled to almost nothing. My husband and I can go for days without so much as a touch, and yet it doesn't seem to bother him. He used to be very affectionate, but it seems he's forgotten how. Whenever I try to make time for just the two of us, he is ‘too tired.’ I know he works hard, but I'm becoming frustrated and angry. I tried to talk to my husband about this recently and asked him, ‘Where did my romantic husband go? Have you seen him?’ He laughed and replied, ‘There is no need for romance after marriage. Guys just do that stuff to get a girl.”

Anything sound familiar?

So what exactly do we mean by courtship and how does it fit in?

Courtship is the act of wooing in love, it is a man seeking the affection of a woman with intent to romance.
By reviving courtship in your marriage you can discover new possibilities of love and passion that you had thought long lost. You can recreate the kind of passionate love in your marriage that you experienced when you were first dating your husband. Working together you can rekindle courtship.

Essentials of Courtship
“Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.” Helen Rowland (1876-1950)

To understand the essentials of courtship, you must consider the basic character of both men and women. Millions of years of evolution have produced creatures with certain fundamental and immutable characteristics. One of these is that all males have the hunter’s gene within them. They are the hunters, the pursuers, the competitors. Men have hunted and competed for everything throughout the ages from the haunch of a wild boar on the tropical plains of Africa to the possession of a pigskin on a gridiron. Of course one of the greatest prizes that men have always pursued is the affections and attentions of women. Thus, women can be seen as the prize for which men compete, they are the pursued.

Men will work to overcome all manner of obstacles in order to successfully gain their prizes. The gaining of the prize itself though is not always what it seems. Men do not value or respect that which they have won too easily.

While prehistoric man would indeed hunt slower, tamer animals for food, it was the hunt of the more ferocious carnivorous animals that would dominate the folklore and lend itself to the creation of art & ornamentation drawn from the slain animals’ remains. Likewise no modern professional football player would value an easily gained victory against a local amateur team. It is the hard-fought victory over equal or preferably even greater odds that has value. In a similar vein, the woman who offers herself too quickly and too easily to men is seldom respected or valued. Many women would no doubt be familiar with acquaintances in their school years who would willingly and eagerly have sex with numerous young males, so-called “easy lays”. These young women would invariably find themselves not respected or highly valued by the men who would so readily partake of her sexual favours.

Therefore we can see that men will value the prize that they pursue in direct proportion to the amount of effort necessary to achieve that particular goal. It is also obvious then that the effort that a man is willing to expend will increase according to the value of the prize he is pursuing. Bringing ourselves back to our courting discussion we can now see that in order for a man to win the prize of his lady, he must expend effort. In most cases a great deal of effort. As discussed the more effort he must expend, the greater will be his perception of the eventual prize.

Thus when seeking that most wondrous of prizes, a female’s attention, men are willing to expend prodigious amounts of effort. This is essentially what we see in the dating/ courting phase of male/female relationships. So when we now consider the dating behaviour exhibited by your husband that we discussed at the beginning of this article we see that he was engaged in a chase with your attentions and affections as the prize. For a male there is no greater symbol of the winning of that chase than that of achieving a sexual relationship with his desired woman.

Thus as we can see male sexual desire is, stimulated by challenge. Yes, that's right. The greater the challenge, the greater the sexual desire. No wonder then that marriage becomes stale. When your husband no longer has to pursue you for sex he loses passion. Your desire for his attention only leads to frustration and disappointment for both of you.

Returning to the concept of courtship, we can now see that effort is an essential element of courtship. A man does not pursue that which he already has. This is the key concept in the loss of courtship in most marriages. Too many marriages proceed on the assumption that the romance has been won, the prize awarded, the chase ended. The most tangible attribute of the romance, sex, may be fun and enjoyable but much of the passion is robbed by the certainty of sex in marriage.

The key to rediscovering courtship in marriage is to withdraw the certainty of the consummated romance. This simple idea leads in all sorts of interesting and exciting directions. The purpose of this article is to explore some of these, to point you in the direction of others and to enable you to rediscover courtship in your marriage and thereby bring back that excitement and passion that has been diminished or lost.

As we move forward in this discussion, I would like all my female readers to understand this is not a one sided campaign. This is fun. F-U-N fun! Whatever you do, both you and your husband will do it together because both of you want to make it happen. You and your husband can really add new dimensions to your marriage and turn each day into a new page in an ongoing novel of romantic play.

An Object of Worship
We are all attracted to people who exhibit self-confidence. This is only natural.

Courtship is, more than anything else, an act of adoration. To be courted you must summon the self-confidence to expect and demand his adoration, to become the object of his desires. Easier said than done, right? Well, not by much.

The only difficult step, it turns out, is to decide with absolute and unswerving sincerity that your goal is to be worshiped by your husband. We'll discuss how later but for now, you only must dedicate yourself to that goal. That is not to say that you will measure your self-esteem by your husband's attention. Rather, you will not accept anything less from your husband than outright worshipful adoration.

Understand that you are worthy of his adoration by the very fact that you are married. You need no further justification than that. You are his wife therefore he should adore you. You have, within you, an erotic potential. That potential was not lost with your youth. It is there still waiting to be reawakened. You must reawaken it within yourself.

To become the object of his worship you must learn to comfortably make the most of your erotic potential with your husband.

This will become the focal point of your new marital relationship. This is not to say that it is a substitute for love. On the contrary, it will become for both of you a new and powerful expression of your love for one another. This will shape and transform your marriage. Your love for him remains certain and unconditional as before. It is romance only, which becomes uncertain and conditional. It is important to distinguish between the two.

Don't worry if you lack confidence in the beginning. Take baby steps to find your way. Confidence will come with positive results. But do not confuse your lack of confidence with your commitment. Be committed and find your way to fulfilling that commitment. Age is not a factor. Weight is not a factor. Beauty is not a factor. These things are not relevant here. Sexual attraction is 90% mental, only 10% physical. Most women are harder on themselves than are their husbands. You don't need to be a beauty queen to be a sex goddess. Females have the essence to attract, captivate and hold sway over men. It is within you and you just need to release it. If you will release this powerful female essence within you, you will have your man begging to romance you. It's all about how you act, not how you look. It's the attitude.

You don't have to be skinny. As a matter of fact, many men like a larger woman. However, you don't want to be fat and you do want to be fit for the sake of your own health and well being. If you are overweight and out of shape, don't feel bad about yourself and don't get discouraged. You can lose the weight. It just takes a quality decision. Proper diet and moderate exercise will lead you in that direction. This article is not a primer in weight reduction. There is much excellent information elsewhere for this. But any steps you take will help you to feel so much better about yourself and the better you feel both physically and mentally, the more confident you will be and the more sexual energy that will be radiating from you.

This works for one very simple reason: Your husband needs and wants to worship you. He may not be consciously aware of it but the male psychology fundamentally desires pursuit. As we have already seen, as much as you desire to be courted so your husband desires to court. It's our nature as human beings. You need only exploit that desire. The nature of this desire is, essentially, sexual. Sex is the goal. And, not coincidentally, it is the means as well. Sexual desire is what stimulates romantic passion.

Anticipation is Greater than Realization
To further understand this most basic aspect of human relations you must appreciate the essential difference in female and male sexuality. Whereas most couples pay only lip service to their differences, wives who fully appreciate these differences are able to tap directly into the inherent erotic potential within their marriages. As noted before, male sexuality is oriented on the chase. Like a thoroughbred horse which enjoys nothing more than a hard run, the typical male enjoys nothing more than the pursuit of a woman for sex. The more lengthy and challenging the pursuit, the more exiting and determined the chase. The more hurdles he must overcome, the more he will strive for the prize and the more it will be appreciated when eventually attained. You, on the other hand, will appreciate his new attention and energy in pursuit of you.

Exercising your erotic potential then is as simple as placing these hurdles for your husband to overcome in your romantic relationship.

Some husbands who discover their own needs in this regard will go to enormous lengths to persuade their wives to exercise their erotic potential with them. Because of social taboos regarding the exercise of power in relationships it can be difficult for some wives to be comfortable with their erotic potential even when their husbands are begging for it.

So how can you best position these hurdles for your husband? As we have seen the most tangible aspect of romance for your husband is the activity of sex. Based on the biological imperatives in the make up of men, the apex of his sexual activity must be the ejaculation of his semen. Therefore in order to re-stoke the dormant furnace of your husband’s desire it is necessary for the wife to establish control of the incidence and the activities of sex and most importantly to remove the certainty of ejaculation from the sexual equation. Only then will the husband truly realize that his prize must once again be courted and won, on a continual and daily basis. The husband, rather than becoming the conqueror, remains suitor and when the couple goes to bed, courtship continues. Under these playful new arrangements, “making love” retains its older, courtly connotations.

It's important to understand that men are almost always in the mood for sex. This is the way men are biologically wired. And it is not difficult for men to have orgasms. Men orgasm as a matter of course. A man who is concentrating on achieving his orgasm can do so in a matter of a few minutes. Strictly speaking then, biology has programmed men to engage in an activity that consists of a few minutes of friction leading to ejaculation. You surely noticed that there is no requirement in this process for a woman to climax or even to enjoy the activity. It is only when the sexual needs of women are taken into account that the act of sex turns into something more than the absolute basics above and evolves into love-making. Coincidentally as men learn to accommodate those needs and reciprocate the women’s desires they find their own enjoyment of sexual activity greatly increasing. Thus for example, engaging in lengthy sexual sessions with various acts of foreplay and after play add nothing to the primal urge of the male. However although it does have as its primary and actual goal the pleasure of the female partner, it can also become intensely pleasurable to the male as well, in large part because of his perception that the female is satisfied. Through this the male learns that he can increase and prolong his sexual pleasure at one particular session by postponing orgasm and concentrating on female-centric activities.
George Gilder notes in his book - Men and Marriage: “Women manipulate male sexual desire in order to teach men the long-term cycles of female sexuality and biology on which civilization is based.”

The problem is that, while a husband may genuinely seek to satisfy his wife sexually, his natural, innate tendency is to achieve his primal goal, consummation of intercourse, with a minimal expenditure of energy. Even men who try to overcome these tendencies will only be partially successful. After all, that's precisely what evolution has bred him to do, that's how the male of the species maximizes his genetic contribution.

Clearly these goals are in conflict and more often than not, in the passion of making love, it is the primal instincts which win out. He doesn't mean to be this way, but he is. Only you can change this by taking control of the situation and ensuring that his ejaculation takes place at a suitable time.

As we have seen it is the attention to the female’s needs that have made sex a thoroughly enjoyable activity for both man and woman. Thus you must train your husband that sex is for your benefit, not his. It is not the case that he is no longer to be allowed to enjoy sex. On the contrary, you will find that under the new arrangement he will be more excited and satisfied than ever. It is simply that men want to please women in bed and that when sex is directed at your satisfaction, your husband will inevitably be satisfied as well. His satisfaction may take new and varied forms, but he will definitely increase his satisfaction level along with yours.

The arrangement you want to establish as a couple is simply this: intimate activities happen when you, the wife, want them to happen and how you want them to happen. You do not have sex simply because your husband is aroused. You engage in intimate activity when you are in the mood for it and you decide the type of activity that you are in the mood for. Both man & wife acknowledge that the wife’s satisfaction and pleasure are paramount. The satisfaction that he gains from your sessions will be in direct proportion to the pleasure you experience.

It’s important to understand that at this point we are speaking about a broad range of intimate activity, which will include but is not limited to traditional sexual intercourse. Take for example a situation where you might like a long slow body massage with hot oil. This would be considered by many including this writer as an intimate activity. A massage of this type might well lead to a sexual interlude of some sort, but it is crucial to understand that it need not do so unless you wish it. In many cases perhaps you would like to simply drift off into sleep at the conclusion of such an activity. Too many women would be afraid to have their husband give them such a massage on a regular basis because they would then feel obligated to allow the husband to turn the activity into sexual intercourse irregardless of their desire at the time. Under this program you will make such decisions based on your own particular feelings.

As we move forward in this particular part of the discussion, consider the following excerpt from Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partner Sex by Betty Dodson Ph.D.The Myth of ForeplayIt's totally understandable why heterosexual men and women want to climax from penis/vagina sex - how convenient, how easy, and how wonderful to have partner sex be consistently and mutually orgasmic. However, if Romeo's firm penis moving sweetly inside Juliet's wet vagina provides orgasms for nearly every man and a mere handful of women, what are we going to do about the majority of women who cannot climax from vaginal penetration alone? We can broaden our definition of partner sex to include some form of direct stimulation of a woman's clitoris either manually or with a vibrator during heterosexual lovemaking.Let's start with the concept of foreplay. Women's magazines as well as many sex books emphasize the importance of "foreplay" for couples. We are told that women want more of it and men don't do enough of it. It's been my observation that a little appetizer of kissing, breast fondling, and clitoral touching before the main course of penetration is seldom enough to satisfy the sexual appetite of most red-blooded women. Just as she is getting excited from some form of direct clitoral contact, he stops and penetrates her vagina. While he is enjoying his ideal erotic sensation with his penis moving inside her, she is now struggling to get a little indirect clitoral contact, which for most women can't compare to consistent clitoral stimulation all the way to orgasm.Imagine a man being told he can rub his penis inside a woman's vagina as foreplay, but when it's time for his orgasm, she must be sitting on his face penetrating his mouth with her clitoris. This will give him a "mature oral orgasm." He must not reach down and touch his penis while she's fucking him in the mouth or she'll think her clitoris isn't big enough to provide his orgasm. To protect her female ego, he ends up faking orgasm, but he figures it's worth it to keep the peace. Later on he can masturbate in the bathroom, or if she's a sound sleeper, he can finish himself off in bed providing he can come while holding his breath and not moving so as not to wake her.Instead of using the word "foreplay," we need to think of a new term to use, such as "sexplay." Most women desire clitoral pleasure in the beginning of, during, and sometimes even after partner sex, if she wants to come again.

As Ms. Dodson illustrates there is more to sex than simply the penetration of the vagina with the penis. Penetrative intercourse does not have to be the omnipresent “main course” of a couple’s sex life. A sexual experience need not consist of a series of brief appetizers followed by the sexual main course of intercourse. In fact each pleasurable activity is in itself worthy of being a main course. There are times when one enjoys a 5 course meal but very often a single course meal will also suffice. You should feel free to choose such a single course from the entire smorgasbord of sexual & intimate activity available to you.

Rediscovering Sensuality
So as discussed above, you can now view any intimate activity as an end in itself, not necessarily to be coupled with sexual intercourse as its logical endpoint. As you explore this concept you will no doubt discover your husband’s eagerness to participate in any number of intimate or personal activities. Let’s remember too that intimate times are not solely restricted by activities that involve the removal of one’s clothing.
Here are a few suggestions that you might want to explore with your husband.

“Ever just want to talk, take him shopping with you, take quiet walks together, share special moments, or just hold hands?” a wife asks. “Now you will have the tools to make it happen. How about a good, old-fashioned necking session on the couch like when you were teenagers? Kissing games? The list is limited only by your imagination.”

A great number of wives report being able to interest their husbands in assisting with their beautification and grooming regimens. Their husbands gladly, even eagerly assist in giving the wife a bath, toweling her off, shaving her legs, combing her hair, giving her a pedicure or similar grooming activities. They enjoy these activities in part because they know they are pleasing their wives, but they also perceive in part that they are preparing their wives, making them more attractive and desirable for themselves. Have you ever had your husband trim or shave your pubic hair? What about his? In preparation for social activity, think about having your husband assist you with your lingerie, helping you put your nylons on or helping with other articles of clothing. By accenting the sensuality of these activities it is possible to create a certain level of stimulation while also benefiting from your husband’s attention.

The concept we are developing is not that these are favors your husband does for which you pay with sex. Rather these activities are an end in themselves and it is you who are doing your husband the favor by allowing him proximity to your highly desirable self. A byproduct might certainly be that these attentions might tend to put you in the mood for intimate activity, but that must be a case by case decision with no automatic link to be construed.

Theory into Action
Let us now turn to specific practical advice. Following is a suggested approach designed to bring both of you into a comfort zone wherein the certainty of sex and ejaculation is replaced with an ongoing erotic aura. You will most likely achieve positive results following these steps as described but you should also feel free to adapt them to your own particular circumstances. For example, some couples may be comfortable enough jumping in at a particular stage or be willing to skip steps, others may want to linger at each step or even add their own variations to the process. As long as you end up at the same destination, your route is not overly important.
As we consider how to implement our new philosophy, a great many wives would interject that sex with their husbands always ends in intercourse and ejaculation. How does one move away from that habit to this new paradigm? First, as we have seen and as the following passage indicates, immediate ejaculation is not the all-encompassing essential goal for men despite what most women might believe. Second, as with most aspects of human behaviour the answer is to take a gradual approach.

Learning how to lengthen the arousal and erection period while delaying orgasm is an important part of maximizing enjoyment from sex. As the erection proceeds, the physical sensations become increasingly more and more exciting, and the psychological pressure to ejaculate becomes more and more intense. The trick is to lean to keep the stimulation just below the level required for ejaculation while learning to deal with the increasing psychological pressure to ejaculate. Like driving a racing car closer and closer to a wall at ever high speeds, the psychological pleasure becomes more and more intense, the longer the arousal can be maintained without ejaculation, but the greater the enjoyment for the man. Furthermore, the longer this stage can be maintained, the more powerful and enjoyable the orgasm will be for the man. Thus, developing skills for doing this and dealing with the psychological desire to ejaculate for as long as possible are essential for the full enjoyment of partner (and solo) sex, and this is what requires practice. Women usually require a somewhat longer period of time to become fully aroused, so being able to delay orgasm potentially increases the enjoyment of sex by both partners.
Many women believe that men are happier the more frequently they can have intercourse. This is not really accurate. What men truly enjoy is being aroused with their partner (and as their partner is also aroused) while both remain in an aroused state for a long period of time, delaying orgasm for as long as is comfortable and possible.

Understanding Male Sexuality by David Sebringsil.
The first step in this evolution is to establish in both your mind and your husbands mind the link between his ejaculation and your consent. As the Lady who is courted, it is very important to your husband to please you. As we have also seen, undergoing a trial or challenge for that purpose is stimulating to the male and is as time-honored and established as the behaviour of the medieval knights undertaking quests on behalf of their Ladies. Therefore at this stage you simply want to establish the request and consent structure that will be an important part of your interaction. This is as simple as getting your husband to tell you before he ejaculates and ensuring he asks your consent to do so. At this initial stage this is essentially your husband wanting to ensure that you have been sufficiently stimulated during your lovemaking session and that the mutual timing is right for him to orgasm and consequently end the session. After the male ejaculates, it is rare for love making to continue.

Therefore when the husband approaches his peak, he should ask his wife in terms that she is comfortable with for her approval of his orgasm. At this stage, I would recommend that the wife assent, usually in an enthusiastic manner and let him proceed to his climax. As noted, the purpose of this stage is to connect in both the husband and wife’s mind the act of ejaculation with the approval from the wife for such action. This process of request & consent will form the basis of what follows.

Soon the wife should start to use this link to time the husband’s ejaculation to coincide with her desires. The difference between this stage and the previous one is that now the wife’s assent will not automatically immediately follow the husband’s request. Therefore when the husband asks to ejaculate, the wife will now seek to delay his orgasm till the moment that she prefers. This may entail a delay of a few seconds to several minutes or longer depending on circumstances. Even if she has experienced a satisfactory sexual session to this point and sees no particular sensory advantage to herself in delaying his orgasm when he asks, it is important at this stage to deny the initial request. Thus making the husband wait, even if only a matter of a few seconds establishes her assent as the primary trigger for his orgasm.

The goal at this juncture is to condition both husband and wife to the concept that approval need not necessarily follow immediately after request. There is no automatic immediate rubber-stamp to the husband’s request but rather a conscious decision made by the wife. You have the right and authority to in fact delay your approval till that moment in time that meets your preference.

As your comfort level increases with the concept of approving your husband’s ejaculation, you will now move to the stage where the husband will really begin to appreciate the fact that there are hurdles in the path of his pursuit of his wife. At this stage in your intimate activities, the husband will ask for permission from his wife to ejaculate as usual. Now, however, you will raise the hurdle that the husband must overcome to please you. You must answer in the negative when he asks to ejaculate. Your love making session should continue to supply you with the quantity and quality of stimulation that you desire but it must conclude without the husband’s ejaculation. This will establish an important milestone in your relationship. You will have definitely shown that you are in control of the lovemaking process. Your husband will no longer be able to take for granted that your romantic interludes will result in a “capture of the prey”. As a consequence, you will now stretch out your husband’s pursuit of you over an extended period.

The first time you engage in a sexual activity with your husband that has as its sole purpose, pleasing you, it will quite possibly feel somewhat exotic and a little foreign to your experience. But as you get over the novelty of the event you will find it a tremendously empowering and erotically fulfilling experience. Some women say they get an erotic power rush from this experience, however some say they feel guilty or bad for their husbands. This is often the most difficult moment for many women who follow this program. I always feel it essential to once again remind women at this point that everything in this program is consensual for both husband and wife and requires whole-hearted support from both. Also you must keep in mind that ejaculation is not denied to your husband, merely rationed and that this is all part of a process to enable you and your husband to rekindle your romantic love. By this important step of not consenting to his ejaculation, essentially the love making session has not closed off for him but continues into the next day and throughout the day. It extends and intensifies the husband’s pleasure, saving him from a quick release followed by an even quicker loss of desire–climax and anti-climax and produces a sexual tension that far exceeds the short-lived orgasm in excitement and intensity.

As one husband reported,
“My wife plays me like a fiddle. But don’t get me wrong. I’m not protesting, I’m bragging. I’m right where I want to be, in her clutches, and wouldn’t trade places with any man on earth. I’ve discovered that the joy of constant arousal far outweighs the momentary experience of ejaculation.”

Another husband, who is rationed, admitted that,
“It is a very erotic experience for me. Even at work she is constantly on my mind.”

A third writes,
“My wife likes to kiss me, hug me, get me all excited, then send me off to work. Her feelings and thoughts and touches remain on my mind all day long and I just can’t wait for the day to end so I can see her. Therefore, when we finally have sex at her choosing, it is such an exciting time for me.”

Once you pass this important milestone, you will find in your subsequent love making session that your husband will be more enthusiastic, more caring, more interested in pleasing you. Enjoy his attentions, revel in his adoration. When he does ask to ejaculate, you will probably want to give him some positive feedback and approval so I recommend you only delay him a few minutes and then you grant your permission. You will no doubt see him experience a tremendous rush when he does have his orgasm.

By now you will have established that you are a prize to be highly desired; one that is not easily gained and one that requires your husband to expend considerable effort to attain. There is no more automatic capture of this prize. The hunter must now be more alert and use all his skills more diligently to capture his prey. Accomplishing this will be the link in both your minds that the incidence of his ejaculation is rationed and now at your direction. Therefore at this point you will now need to stretch out your level of management. This will mean rationing your husband’s orgasm at not only one lovemaking session but at the next 2 or 3 subsequent sessions also. The rate of permission should be varied according to your own schedule. You are now establishing that you need to be pursued over a longer period than the few days between subsequent love making sessions. The pursuit and courtship must be constant and continual. This extended outcome plays with your husband’s mind, increasing his excitement. Meanwhile, ongoing intimate activities – activities that need not be confined to the bedroom – also work to his advantage. He experiences an increase in sexual excitement, with an intensity he has probably not known since adolescence. Only his game-ending climaxes are reduced.

You will soon find that the more you manage your husband’s ejaculations, the more he will desire and pursue you. This will result in more attention, more caring, more love, more romance, in short … more courtship. As you move into this phase you will need to establish the balance point at which it becomes wisest to grant your husband his orgasm. Depending on your age, lifestyle and the frequency of your sexual sessions before you began this program, you will need to decide on a starting point and work from there. I usually advise younger couples who might have sex 3 or more times a week to start at allowing orgasm at weekly intervals, middle-aged couples (with more involved lifestyles, possibly with children) who might be having sex 1 or 2 times a week could start with a bi-weekly orgasm. Wherever you start, you will need to gradually start increasing the length of time between orgasms until you reach the point of maximum effectiveness. This will be the point at which the caring and romance start to turn towards irritation and negative behaviour. When you see this type of behaviour developing, you should back off the length slightly and use this as your guidepost going forward. Timeframes that couples use can vary from 14 - 21 days to as much as 90 days or longer. Typically 30 days is not unusual for couples in their 30’s or 40’s. As in all we have discussed previously, be prepared to listen to your husband’s feedback, both verbal and non-verbal to guide you to the best balance.

Once you reach this stage and settle in at an appropriate level all you need do is maintain this level as you move forward. It should be obvious that implied in this program will be the fact that you should be setting a scheduled day for the next ejaculation in advance. This may well be as simple as deciding that the first Saturday of the month is your preferred day or may involve a more elaborate scheduling mechanism. In any case, the request/consent mechanism we have discussed should remain in place throughout. To keep things interesting, the next date should only be known by you. This will keep up the suspense and maintain your husband’s attentiveness. As such, “spot decisions” during your love making sessions are not recommended. You will invariably be distracted by your own sensations and find it difficult to make such decisions. Therefore it is highly recommended that you make your schedule at some prior moment and then stick to it. Some degree of variation of the date can also be used to maintain a healthy degree of anticipation for you both.

As you become more comfortable with the cycle you can even experiment with changing the scheduled date based on your husband’s performance. Consider awarding “bonus points” for exceptional performance by your husband. These can be used to shorten the interval till the next ejaculation date. On the flip side deduct points for undesirable behavior on your husband’s part. These negative points will lengthen the cycle. This type of carrot & stick approach can add a whole new level of playfulness to the program.

Similar Philosophies
No doubt those of you who have some familiarity with the wide world of sexual practices will note a similarity to Tantric Sexual practice in our program. One of the practices of Tantra does in fact include the concept of the male withholding his ejaculation.

Withholding ejaculation has its roots in Tantra; in maithunâ, it is important that the man not discharge his semen because it is considered a precious product of the life force. Semen is transmuted into a finer substance that nourishes the higher centers of the body, which prepares it for the spiritual transformation that is the goal of Tantra. In maithunâ, women may achieve orgasm during the ritual: her excitement produces a vaginal secretion that the experienced tântrika can then suck up through his penis. The female ejaculate is thought to enrich the tântrika's hormonal system, which further aids in his spiritual transformation

Leaving aside the metaphysical aspects of Tantra we can see that the concepts we are working with here are not totally dissimilar. One essential difference however is that this form of abstinence is self motivated. In other words although the male ejaculation is withheld as with our program, it is the male himself who decides if & when. The all-important and essential feature of our program is the principle that is the female who makes the decision about the timing of the male’s ejaculation.

Spice of Life
Now that you have reached a point where you are rationing your husband’s ejaculations to once every 30 days or so, you should feel free to explore the varieties of sexual experiences alluded to by Ms Dodson above. This program is definitely not about you waiting 30 days to have sex with your husband. If you are not enjoying yourself and experiencing many orgasms during the month, you have missed the point and will be overlooking the ongoing stimulation that your husband needs to keep him in tune.

One husband was expected to orally pleasure his wife on a nightly basis–and was delighted with the assignment: “There’s nowhere I'd rather be.” But his nightly ministrations did not necessarily equate to ejaculation for himself. His wife liked keeping him on the edge–several weeks running, sometimes a month or longer. Did he feel victimized, reduced in manly stature? No, he felt like the “luckiest stiff” he knew, and wrote that he felt like a teenager again and that his wife had become the focus of all his fantasies, “like a goddess” to him

A wife in her early 40’s, married 12 years described her program as follows: “Before we learned about rationing sex, we would have intercourse about once a week which included some foreplay and oral sex. My husband would almost always ejaculate inside of me after which it was like a switch had turned him off. Since adopting this program we still have actual sexual intercourse about once a week. Nowadays however he only ejaculates every fourth time we have intercourse. In between these sessions, there have been days where I have had my husband pleasure me orally or use the vibrator for me. I can set the length and intensity of these sessions and they make a very nice counterpoint to our more regular intercourse. Some nights, just to keep the heat up, I will concentrate solely on teasing or stimulating him for a few minutes before bed. These ‘10 minute teasers’ take almost no effort, yet really serve to keep his juices fermenting. For example one night, I gently massaged his bare buttocks, another time I played with his nipples, a third time I lay on the bed and told him to just kneel beside me and look at my ass in my thong underwear for 10 minutes. The results have been fabulous. My husband tells me he thinks about me all the time now. Anything I ask him to do is taken care of eagerly and he is constantly looking for his own ways to please me. During sex he really works at ensuring that I have multiple orgasms and when I finally tell him it is ok to ejaculate, he tells me the feeling is so much better than under our old regime.”

As we have seen penetrative sex while an enjoyable activity, can co-exist with other activities on an equal basis. Cunnilingus is probably the most popular alternative activity. Oral activity can also be centered on any other part of the body since erogenous zones are vast and varied, with the most popular being the breast, nipples, feet and anal areas. Depending on your desires such activity can be a one way or two way street. The fingers and hands are wonderfully manipulative things. Use them to massage, tickle, grasp, insert and otherwise stimulate the body. One partner can watch the other masturbate or you can try mutual masturbation. The use of vibrators, or any of the wide range of artificial phalluses is also encouraged. Technical ingenuity has produced a variety of dildos such as vibrating, pulse action, strap-ons, two way, anal, chin, etc. These can be of great value to enhance the sexual experience. As with oral activities try taking a two way approach with these devices. For example, you might think your husband would not be interested in being on the receiving end of a dildo, but I suggest if you ask him in the right way at the right time you might be surprised at his acceptance. In fact the anus and rectum are full of sensitive, responsive nerve endings which when stimulated through penetration can be immensely pleasurable and even orgasmic.

Anna, a 39 year old married to her husband for 7 years writes as follows:
“Todd always seemed like such a macho guy. I never thought that he would like me using a dildo on him. One night though as I was licking and rubbing his penis I asked if I could. To make a long story short he agreed and it led to a very explosive climax for him and turned me on immensely. Since that time I have purchased a strap-on harness and we often incorporate anal penetration in our love play. He finds the sensations very intense and I love the feeling of being the penetrator for a change.”

* For a enjoyable perspective of this particular alternative, refer to the article Strap-On Epiphany by Virginia Vitzthum in Salon E-zine January, 1999.

This is only one example of many I have received where couples have discovered joy in heretofore untapped erotic activity. Following this program will give you the freedom to explore and engage in the many alternate forms of intimate and sexual activity now that the encumbrance of penetrative intercourse is now longer the absolute imperative it once was.

Summary
Now that you have read through this material, take some time to think it over and discuss it with your husband. If he is the one who has pointed you to this article, you have a leg up on implementing the program since he will most likely be very agreeable. If you have discovered this material on your own or through the intercession of a friend it is probably a good idea to ask your husband to read it through also.

If you are like most women, you will certainly have read or seen other material which discusses romance and marriage. While there may have been some variety in what you might have found, undoubtedly one of the main pieces of advice to rekindle romance will recommend that you try and get away for a romantic dinner or weekend alone with your husband. This “fantasy island” scenario presumes that a brief dose of romance will suffice to counterbalance the tedium that will resume on your return to “normal” life. Those who have tried these types of outings will no doubt affirm that they enjoyed the outings but that upon their return to “normal” life, the benefit dissipated fairly quickly. Now having read the wisdom in these pages, the answer should be apparent. These outings while enjoyable, do not in themselves address the fundamental issue. They still proceed under the assumption that the romance has been won. So in effect, trying to emulate activities from your courting days while enjoyable in themselves, does not address the fundamental problem of romance. This is a little like a football player being asked to don his old uniform and replay the moments from the “big game” or asking the hunter to take out his rifle and re-stalk the moose head hanging on his basement wall. There will certainly be some joy for the person in retelling the story or reliving the moments, but these will pale compared to the original activity and quickly fade with repeated telling.

The beauty of this program is that it does not involve a brief departure into a fantasy world and return to one’s everyday life. This will become your everyday life and of course that is the key. As such it does not require any special preparations, does not require any travel, does not require any reservations and coincidentally is a lot less expensive. You should still have your special outings together but in the context of your new relationship program. So while I join with my colleagues in recommending such activities for their own sake, I also caution you not to expect any permanent improvements in your relationship based solely on such outings.

My final advice, is to remember that this path is for you to travel jointly. As I have emphasized throughout, discuss this article, your thoughts, your plans with your partner. Communication is one of the most basic foundations of a good relationship. Take a gradual approach to the changes suggested here. When you are comfortable with one stage, move to another. Remember you have the rest of your lives together. As you move through this program you will find that your husband’s desire to please you will naturally spread to other areas of your relationship. You will find that he consults you more on financial decisions, on balancing work and family, even on his choice of friends. Everything will change for the better if you lay the foundation correctly.

When you practice the philosophies laid out in this article, you are happier and your husband is happier. Your husband is happier because he is a hero. He comes to your rescue by his continual romantic pursuit, by doing the things you need and by satisfying you sexually. You are happier because you are now an object of worship, you have someone to talk to and to do the things you desire and because you are finally enjoying sex with your husband.

Indulge your wildest fantasies. As the Lady of the house set yourself upon a pedestal and let your knight pursue you romantically throughout the days and weeks. It's amazing how many aspects of your life your new relationship will touch.

Improve Your Relationship With A Chastity Device

2005-01-29T20:11:00.000-08:00

Introduction

This web page is still under heavy construction, so please come back often. I have compiled this web-page to assist the thousands of men out there who desire to have their orgasms rationed and to be locked up in a chastity device with their wife / girlfriend holding the only key. The problem is that it is a very difficult subject to broach with your partner, what if she thinks I’m weird? How do I even describe why I want to do this? How do I describe what she would get out of it? I have designed this page to bring together the many existing web-sites that deal with male chastity and orgasm rationing in one place so that you can show your partner this one page where she’ll be able to find all the information she needs to learn why you should take this wonderful step in your relationship together. This page is designed as a central repository where you can find all the information you need about male chastity, most of the information is contained in the excellent articles that I have linked to on this page. Make sure you read them all before deciding that keeping your man in a chastity belt isn't for you. You may be wondering just how many people might be into this sort of thing. Well it may give you an indication that after just 3 weeks, this web-page received over 7,000 visitors!

There is also information contained in the links for women who want their man to wear a chastity device, but are not sure how to introduce this regime. Try this link for starters: Real Women Don't Do Housework

Why You Need To Ration Your Man’s Orgasms

There are many benefits to both you and your man if you ration his orgasms. When he is allowed them, his orgasms will become extremely powerful and pleasurable. He will feel the intense pleasure of constant arousal. For him it will feel like a never ending period of foreplay, a 24 hour a day sex session like no other. Not knowing when he will be allowed to cum, wondering whether tonight will be my lucky night is a very intense turn on for him. What’s in it for you? By rationing his orgasms, you can make him become the man of your dreams. You will absolutely love all of that extra attention he will be showering you with. This truly is the way to get what you want out of your relationship, and the best part is that he will love you for doing this for him! Do you like oral sex? Make him use his tongue and you will be treated to as many orgasms as you can handle whenever you want it, or you can just be happy to receive a nice massage if you are not in the mood or need a rest. You can get your man back into shape and make him happy to stick to his new exercise regime. You can finally get all those chores done that he’s been avoiding all this time. You will find your man stronger, more virile with much more energy than ever before. You will love the results, so give it a go!

If you haven’t yet discovered the benefits of rationing your mans orgasms, then you should read the following two excellent pages. Even if you have, they make great reading and may give you some additional ideas.

A Married Woman's Guide To A Happier More Fulfilling Relationship

Real Women Don't Do Housework

OK. I Understand Why I Should Ration His Orgasms. But Why Do I Need Him To Wear A Chastity Belt?

Have you ever been disappointed that sometimes rationing his orgasms works, and other times it doesn’t? Do you ever find that you have him right where you want him after just 3 days to a week of denying his orgasms, he is kissing you more, cuddling you, giving you lots of massages and oral sex. Life is great, he is happy and you are happy. Then after he comes, you find that he has gone back to his old selfish ways, and this time, even after 1 – 2 weeks he is still his old self. All that loving, caring and special attention is gone. This makes you disappointed and confused, and he is not that same happy guy that he was just last week. So what happened? Why did it work last time and not this time? Guess what, he’s been masturbating and having orgasms behind your back!

Why does he masturbate when he enjoys orgasm rationing so much? (He probably even asked you to ration his orgasms). The reason is that he succumbed to the temptation. He has only just had an orgasm, and one isn’t enough to completely satisfy him, so he feels that he can sneak in another one without you noticing. Then the next day he’s getting a bit horny again, and since he only just came yesterday, just one more won’t hurt. Before he knows it he’s slipped back into those old habits once again. This makes him feel guilty and dissapointed that he couldn't hold back for you. He simply just can't help himself. He may even feel a little dissapointed in you for letting him get away with it!

You need to stop him from masturbating, it will make both of your lives that much happier and more exiting. You can’t rely on him to stop on his own, he is too easily tempted for that. This is much too important, you need to put him into a chastity device to stop him from masturbating behind your back, sapping his energy and robbing you of the attention and pleasure you deserve. There are inexpensive but secure models out there, such as the CB-3000, or you can ask your man to make one for now. Several designs for home built chastity devices can be found here on Altairboy's website, or you can simply use your imagination along with some supplies from your local hardware store.

One point raised by many women when their man asks to be locked in a chastity device is that they like to be able to fondle their man whenever they like. They want to have free access to their man's goods without having to worry about finding the key and then unlocking a chastity belt. This problem, like any other, can easily be solved. Simply have your man buy you a beautiful necklace, on which you can hang the key. This has 2 advantages, it allows you to quickly unlock his chastity device whenever you want to fondle him, and it is also a constant reminder to him of the power you hold. The chastity device in the link I have provided below, is a simple plastic cage that can be removed very quickly, whenever you feel like it. It also allows you to fondle his balls while he is still locked in. So you should never worry about not having free access to cop a feel. Also, many women come to love the feel of their man in their chastity device, it is very sexy!

If this hasn’t convinced you to at least give it a try, then I suggest you read the following 4 articles.

CHASTITY: The Control Of Male Masturbation And Orgasm

Mechanical Assistance

Making Him Your Dream Man

Ms. Kay's Chastity Primer

Where To Get A Chastity Device?

You Can Buy One From Here

There are many excellent chastity belt manufacturers out there, but for a good inexpensive, secure, long-term chastity device I suggest you try the CB-3000.

For a picture of a man in a CB-3000, click here.

For more photos, click here.

Or You Could Try To Make One Yourself

With a little imagination and some supplies from the hardware store, you should be able to make yourself a chastity device, or you could try one of the designs from Altairboy’s Home Built section.

I Now Have Him In Chastity, What Do I Do Now?

In two words, enjoy yourself! Sex should now be for your benefit, not his. Ask him to perform lots of oral sex on you. The more orgasms you have, the more excited he will get and the more he will enjoy this experience, it will also mean that he will be more attentive to you. Remember, men love what they can’t have. All those wonderful orgasms you are now having will remind him of the orgasms he is now giving up to you, and this will excite him further. You may also like to buy a vibrator and have him use it on you. Another suggestion is to buy a strap on dildo so he can make love to you in the more traditional way, without removing his chastity device. Also you might like to use the strap-on or a dildo on him, this is almost guaranteed to drive him absolutely wild with lust. Try to keep him as turned on and excited as you can, for as long as you can. Remove his chastity device often, stroke him to the edge of orgasm several times without letting him have his orgasm, and then lock him back in. This will guarantee that you will get the best results, and his attention will be firmly on you. When the time does come to allow him an orgasm, it is a good idea to make him really earn it by doing something you ask of him that he wouldn’t normally do. This way you can be sure that he really is quite desperate to cum, ensuring a mind-blowing orgasm for him. A good example is to make him eat his cum afterwards, most guys will agree to it when they are very aroused, but don’t like to do it after they’ve cum. His punishment for failing to drink up all of his cum is an extra week or two of chastity next time. A good method to use is make him aim into a shot glass (gives new meaning to the name doesn’t it!). Using a shot glass allows his tongue to get right to the bottom, making sure he doesn’t miss one drop. Be sure he is very diligent in this task, as you don’t want to let him get away with breaking a promise. You should make him drink his own cum each and every time he has an orgasm from now on. I should point out that besides it being a very sexy thing for you to watch, it also has some health benefits for him. Semen contains vitamins and minerals, one such mineral is zinc. Making him drink his own cum will replentish the supply of zinc that he lost through his semen. Make it a rule: No cum is to leave his body from now on unless it is only temporary, being returned straight back to his body through being consumed.

Making him eat his own cum is such a fun way to play, and there are many ways that he can enjoy his cum. Have him lay on his back, and raise his legs above his head so that his penis is pointing towards his mouth. When you finally do let him cum, aim it into his mouth, that way he can enjoy his cum straight from the source. Another thing you can do is freeze his cum, and have him eat it at a later time. This is a good one to do after he cums into a condom. Just twist the tip, pop it into the freezer and then clamp it with a peg. When frozen, you can simply cut off the tip and remove his frozen cum-sickle.

You may find that after a long period of using chastity, that he may get used to not cumming for such a long time, his body may adapt. If you find this happening, then to ensure you both get the most out of this, then it is a god idea to really mix up his orgasm cycle. From time to time you may like to give him many orgasms in a short period of time, so his body gets used to orgasming frequently again before you withdraw them. You will find his arousal so much greater on his next denial cycle. It is best to do this in a way that becomes unpleasurable for him, an orgasm starts to become quite unpleasurable for a guy after say 5 orgasms in a day. A fun game to play is to set him a task to cum say 10 or 15 times in a 48 hour period. (He will not be able to cum this many times, but if he can then increase this number). For each orgasm that he falls short of his target, becomes another week on his next denial cycle. For example, if his target is 15 but he only cums 9 times in the 48 hour period, then his next period of chastity will be 6 weeks (plus any extra time added for infractions). This will ensure that he really tries hard to cum those extra few times. Of course he must still consume all of his cum after each orgasm. Enjoy how desperate his need will be after only a few days back in chastity. This is a great punnishment to use if he starts to complain about not having enough orgasms. "So you want a lot of orgasms aye? OK, so lets see how many you can handle. I hope it's a lot or it will cost you."

Here is a link to a technique that you could use to really get your man all nice and worked up. Believe me, he will be ready to do absolutely anything for you after you have tried The Mirror Trick.

Here is another game that you could use to really get your man all nice and worked up, and it takes little or no effort on your part to play this game. Simply tie your man naked to the bed or chair, with one arm free. Blindfold him and place a set of ear-phones on his head, playing some music. Set the timer on a stopwatch to beep every minute. He is to masturbate quickly and firmly until he is about to cum. He must then stop and wait for the next beep. You can think of many variations on this game. The beauty of this game is that he knows he must perform this task for you, but he has no idea if you are even in the room. If you want some quiet time to yourself set him up and you can check back periodically if you like. Not knowing if you have left the room or not, he will not be able to slack off from his task, you may be there to catch him! It's a great way to tease him and keep him excited while still allowing you to go about your business. In fact you can set up many games with him in this position while you go about your business, secure in the knowledge that he must be following your orders at all times! Here is the original description of this amazing game. The Stop Watch Game.

Here is a great source of games you can play with your man. Make him sit down and write out a game that you can play with him, that he wouldn't really enjoy. The catch is that if you feel it's too mild, he earns himself another week in his chastity belt! This brings an interesting dilemna for him. How far will he go in revealing his deepest, darkest fantasies to you, knowing that you might actually play them out. Also knowing that if he doesn't go far enough, he gets an extra week of chastity. You can ask him for more than 1, and remember you are absolutely under no obligation to play them out. Only if it's to your liking. Also, he will never know when you might do this, so this thought will play on his mind. Will she or won't she? When? You can really have some fun with this!

There are lots of fun games that can be played with a man in chastity. Over the coming weeks I’ll endeavor to add some of them here. In the meantime read as much as you can from the links below, you will find many great ideas in these pages.

Comments and suggestions for improvement to the site would also be more than welcome.

I want to add a page detailing some ideas of games people can play while in chastity. Please email me your suggestions.

Links:

Introduction To Chastity Yahoo Group

Ms. Kay's Chastity Primer

A Married Woman's Guide To A Happier More Fulfilling Relationship

Real Women Don't Do Housework

Mistress Loris Chastity Pages

Making Him Your Dream Man

Lady Jesters CB-3000 Male Chastity Page

Altairboy's Chastity Page

Altairboy's Home Made Chastity Page

LOCKMEUP.COM - Chastity Belts for the Masses

Elise Sutton's Female Superiority Page

NTCWEB's Orgasm Denial Forum

Enjoying female dominance: A guide

OrgasmDenial.Com

The Mirror Trick

The Stop Watch Game

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嫁给恋足者的三个理由

2005-01-29T19:57:00.000-08:00

嫁给什么样的男人？这是女士们无数次在心中思量过的问题。人品、地位、财富、学识、外貌，女士们一般都是从这五个方面来考察未来的夫婿。我想说的是，如果你嫁给一个恋足者，即使以上五个方面有所缺陷，他仍然是你的首选。当然，前提是你的足应该称得上是美足。也许有女士会说：有没有搞错，嫁给一个心理变态者？女士们，为了你一生的福祉，请耐心地听听我的理由。

第一，恋足者一般都是情感细腻、想象力丰富的浪漫男人。和那些只会提枪上马、埋头苦干的男人不一样，他们心中充满了浪漫的情怀，在夫妻性生活中，他们更像一个艺术家，懂得如何去营造一个温馨的氛围和令人迷醉的场景。你会对他的创造力和想象力感到惊讶，你会陷入他所营造的氛围之中而不能自拔，最后，你会陶醉其中，感到嫁一个恋足者真好！

第二，男人都花心，恋足者似乎是个例外，你能得到他的长久爱恋，这不正是你所需要的吗？据国外学者的研究，有恋足倾向的男人，很少主动提出离婚。为什么？学者分析，恋足情结源于心灵深处，是十分稳定的一种心理状态，因而恋足者的性爱模式一旦形成便很难改变，也不愿意改变。因此，对恋足者来说，抛弃以往的熟悉性爱模式，与其他女人重新磨合是不可想象的。

第三，恋足者比一般的男人更会心痛人、照顾人。雄性动物一般都具有强烈的攻击性和暴力性，男人也是如此。但恋足者恰恰相反，他们心性比较柔和，情感比较细腻，他们懂得心痛人。请想象一下，当你劳累一天回到家中，你有恋足倾向的夫君俯下身子为你洗脚、为你轻揉细嫩的秀足、为你换上干净的丝袜，他能对你施展暴力吗？

当然，要找一个恋足者当丈夫也并不容易。据调查，有恋足倾向的男人只占男人总数的15%。不过，别灰心，中国是一个有悠久恋足传统的国度，这一比例应该比国外要高些，我估计应该有25%。在恋足者中，只恋足、不恋人的真正“变态者”，不到恋足者总数的万分之一，女士们大可放心，不必耽心你的夫君只对你的秀足如痴如醉，而对你美丽的胴体不感兴趣。嫁给恋足者，除了能得到一个女人所能得到的一切之外，你还能享受其他女人得不到的乐趣，何乐而不为！
听完我的理由，还等什么，女士们？祝你们好运！恋足博士
　
当恋足者妻子的三大纪律八项注意
鉴于恋足者正在浮出水面，逐渐得到社会的认同。为了使恋足者的妻子们能更好地享受生活中的乐趣，本人以资深恋足者的身份，提出以下规则。如能遵守并实行之，则不仅是恋足者的福音，也会给妻子们带来快乐。三大纪律

1、让“变态”这两个字从你的字典中永远消失。对恋足者来说，最大的心灵伤害莫过于说他“变态”。现代医学和心理学早已证明，恋足是一种正常的心理状态。女人的脚，是女性第二性特征中的一部分。反之，居然不懂得欣赏女人脚部的美丽、不被女人秀足的魅力所倾倒，才是变态！

2、永远不要自作主张地给自己买鞋。对女人鞋子的审美，你的丈夫才是专家。他懂得什么样的鞋子最美，你穿什么样的鞋子最合适。因为，他对你脚部的熟悉程度胜过你十倍。他了解你脚部的每一个细节，他对你双足的呵护胜过对他自己的生命。这种劳心费力的事情，你尽可以交给他去干，他买的鞋也许会你不满意，但绝对是最适合你穿的，是最能展现你的脚的魅力的。

3、永远不要对别人说你丈夫的恋足爱好，即使是你最亲密的女友也不要说。在中国这个仍然视恋足为变态心理的国度里，你的叙说只会惹来误解和鄙视。尽管别人也许也是一个恋足者的妻子，但她不会向你承认的，她会装好奇、装不可理喻，让你蒙羞。

八项注意

1、在你日常的美容内容中，除了注意面部的保养之外，还要加上足部的保养。女人最容易衰老的部位依次是脖子、手、脸，最不容易衰老的是脚，而后者恰恰是你幸福生活的命门，也是你长久保持魅力的法宝。保养的方法很多，如擦抹护肤霜，按摩等等，有条件的话，也可以在就寝前用热牛奶泡脚。

2、在日常生活中，要注意你脚部的姿态，尽可能保持一种优雅的脚姿。在公众场合脱鞋、抠脚是绝对不可以的，那样会破坏你的美感。

3、要注意鞋子和足部的卫生。鞋子要天天擦，袜子要天天冼，这些琐碎事，完全不必你亲历亲为，交给他来干好了，你只须每天督促就可以了，因为他可能会因为工作忙，或者懒惰而忘了。

4、他陪你上街外出时，如果他的眼睛在别的女人脸上扫来扫去的时候，你完全不必在意。你放心，他心里绝无非份之想。但是，如果他的眼睛在女人的脚下瞄来瞄去的话，你就得注意了。最好的方法是，提醒他不要让别人看出他是一个恋足者。

5、夫妻间难免会有吵架、生气的时候。吵归吵，日子还得过。缓解关系的秘诀之一是：罚他跪在你面前为你洗脚。当你看到他虔诚地跪在你面前伺候时，你会破涕为笑的，不愉快也就烟消云散了。

6、一般情况下，你无需主动，你可以任由他抚摸、搓揉、亲吻、闻吸、舔吃你的脚。但在某些时候，你应该主动，如用脚抚摸他的脸、蹭他的嘴唇、把脚塞进他的嘴巴、按压他的阴部、用脚沾上蛋糕之类的食物让他吃等等。这些时候包括：他有什么值得庆贺的事情，他为你办了一些重要的事情等等。总之，你的主动应该是对他的一种奖赏，而不是一种惯例。

7、当他把玩、舔吃你的脚的时候，不管你心里是否真的乐意，你一定要显出十分兴奋和满足的样子，这对他是莫大的鼓舞，你付出的很少，但你一定可以从其他方面得到更多。而且，久而久之，你不仅会习惯他这样做，还会喜欢他这样做。渐渐地，你就会从中体会到许多乐趣。

8、求新求变是夫妻生活永恒的主题。你不仅要善于配合他的奇思妙想，还应该与他一起探讨、创新。具有极为丰富的想象力，这是恋足者的共性，与只会提枪上马、埋头苦干的男人不同，他们更具有艺术家的特征。祝贺你，你有一位恋足者当丈夫。

恋足博士

训夫

2005-01-29T19:37:00.000-08:00

训夫1
我结婚六年了，我的丈夫现在已经完全臣服与我。在家里，我就是他的主人，他的女皇。随我心情任意的驱使、虐待。刚结婚我就有意改造他、训练他，用了两年的时间我成功了。结婚伊始，我下班一进家门，无论我是否真的很累，总是高喊：“老公，快过来。”这时，他会忙不迭的跑过来，我会搂着他的脖子贴着他的耳朵说：“累死我了！”和他接吻。此时的他已经被我的娇雍无力所陶醉，会很豪爽的说：“你去歇着吧！”“不，我要你抱我过去。”“好，好，好，我抱你过去。”他会很高兴的把我抱到沙发上，我借势躺到沙发上，惊讶的说：“呀！我鞋忘换了，老公。”“你歇着吧！我给你换。”他把我的拖鞋拿来，蹲在地上，给我脱掉皮鞋，换上拖鞋。这时我决不会忘记对他的奖励。“老公，过来，让我亲亲。”然后就可以舒舒服服地看电视了。直到饭好了，他会请你吃饭。吃饭的时候，我把双脚放到他的腿上，我的脚好涨啊，给我擎一会，他会欣然同意，我先是用脚尖有意无意的在他腿上轻轻的磨一会，接着用脚底缓缓的蹭，然后又用脚跟轻轻的按，自由自在、随心所欲的玩着，很快他就会被你挑逗的兴致昂然，看到他情绪高涨时，要及时收手。这时他会求你，你告诉他，吃完饭收实好了再说。待他做好这一切后，会迫不急待的要求你实现诺言，你可以一边耍娇一边戏耍他。“给我洗脚。”他会愉快的接受，为你洗脚，在你的指挥下，为你修剪脚指甲，涂指甲油。你把脚抬起来，告诉他，“闻闻，香不香。”他就会闻，你借机把脚放到他脸上，做开心状，他看到你开心，会更卖力地亲吻你的脚，你用脚丫子夹他的脸、鼻子、把脚趾放到他嘴里，让他吸。直到你玩够了，舒服透了，再兑现你的承诺。长此以往，他就会习惯。玩多了的游戏势必改进，何况好的游戏玩的越多越好。

训夫2
每天我下班进家他给我换鞋、饭后给我洗脚，已经成为他的习惯、必做的工作。这已经不能满足我的需求了，我的目的是征服他、统治他、成为女皇，把他变成我的奴隶。饭后看电视的时候，我会躺靠在沙发上，腿就那么很随意搭在踏凳上，手里拿着牙签，一下一下挑着他给我备好的、洗净、去皮、去核、切好在水果拼盘里的水果，我要求每日水果种类不得少于三种，每天不能重复，水果块的大小要均匀。慢慢的送进自己的肉嘟嘟的极具性感的小口里，细细的品味着。他收实完饭桌后，也会过来看电视，以前我这时不会打扰他，现在我准备给他增加工作量。“老公，今天我走了好多路，脚很累，你来给我按摩一下吧”说着，我偷眼看了看他，发现他又开始控制不住自己了。我晃荡着那双动人的脚，脚趾一翘一翘的做着脚型。“你要是不愿意，就算了，愿意就快点。”“别，我愿意，我听你的。”他真的像个仆人似的，捧起我这双摄人魂魄的美足，轻轻的揉着，任我摆布，我陶醉在这种气氛当中。忽然，我发现他是单腿跪在我面前，我抬起右脚在他的膝盖上用力一踩，他一下子就双膝跪在我的脚下。“这才是正确姿势，这样伺候我，我才高兴。懂吗？老公，以后别用我教。”“是，夫人”他开始改口叫我夫人了，而不在叫我老婆了。我当即给他纠正，“不要叫我夫人，我要做公主，以后就叫我公主吧。”我得意的说。“是，公主。”我控制了他，我的脚几乎可以感觉的到他呼吸散发出的热气。“你叫我公主，那你自己叫什么？”“叫小人、下人、奴才、奴隶、小狗反正你喜欢叫什么就叫什么吧。”他已经进入状态了。“嗯！既然这样，我要给你起个即好听又大方的名字，以后你就叫阿奴吧。别人也听不懂，以为是爱称呢。”“是，公主。”我享受着他的按摩，但仍然不过瘾，我不仅需要他肉体上的伺候，更需要精神上的享受。“你现在什么感觉啊？我的脚美吗？”“当然”他答道。“那你很愿意给我揉脚了？”“是的”我继续挑逗着他，“不想舔舔它吗？”“这……”男人的自尊还在做怪，这是我第一次让他亲吻我没洗过的脚。我闲着的右脚脚趾已经在在他的左边脸上轻轻的蹭着，“来吧，舔舔它，你揉的我很舒服，算是给你的奖励”。他伸出舌头，舔起了我这只穿着丝袜的美足，我感觉遐意极了，幸福的笑着，沉浸在奴役他人的快感中。

训夫3
两只脚都让他揉遍、舔完后。“好了，我要洗脚，快给我端盆水来”，他已经习惯遵从我的命令，乖乖的端来洗脚水，放在我脚下，规规矩矩的跪在旁边。不用我命令，就开始为我脱袜子，洗脚了。“好了，这么慢。把脸靠前点，我要活动活动脚趾头。”我又命令到。他顺从的把脸送到我脚下，我开心的用脚丫子夹他的脸，揪他的耳朵，扭他的鼻子。他一边给我洗着袜子，一边忍受着我脚丫子对他的虐待。我知道，我就要成为女王了，但他还不是完全的奴隶，我还要继续改造他，让他失去自我，失去自尊。过去，上床时，我总是尽量满足他。现在我要改变他，让他满足我，虽然他老缠着我，我就是不答应，跟他说没情绪，他会追问我怎样才能有情绪，这时，我会对他说，还用问吗？不会亲亲我，从脑门一直亲到脚趾头，亲得我舒服了，就会有情绪，他从上往下地亲吻我，亲到我下身时，我会自然地分开两腿，哼起来。无疑就象告诉他。这样伺候我，我才有情绪一样。这时我就可以尽情地享受到他的口舌的温柔了。待我舒服透了，我会满足他一下，当然，不能让他压到我身上，别忘记我是女皇，让他跪着，我把脚放到他两个肩上，或者让他自摸，多说点鼓励、赞扬之类的话。他就会养成以我的意志为转移的习惯。通过这番努力，他在晚上已经习惯伺候我了，我可以进家门，就什么也不干，尽情的享受，奴役他。我还要让他清晨起来伺候我，成为我全天候的奴隶。清晨，原先都是我起来弄早餐，今天我不起来了，赖在床上，使劲翻身，把他幌醒。他问我，怎么还不起来做饭。我转身搂着他说“老公，你整死人家了，浑身一点劲也没有今天不吃饭吧。”“那怎么行，算了，我起来做。”哈哈，成功了！他起来做饭了，我则重新睡个回拢觉。他做好饭后，叫我起床，我详装不醒，直到上班好迟到了，才起来，手忙脚的，我一会儿让他挤牙膏,一会儿要他擦皮鞋，在化妆时,我就让他给我穿鞋，他忙活了一顿，我还是迟到了。扔个脸色给他，让他觉得自己没用，明天他会起的更早。第二天清晨，我会早早的把他幌醒，要他有充分的时间起来伺候我。他会小心翼翼的起床，怕把你弄醒，怕晚了你迟到，静悄悄地去做早餐，准备好洗漱水，挤好牙膏，擦净我的皮鞋，并把我要换的内衣内裤丝袜预备好后，才敢叫我起床。我躺在床上似醒非醒,耍着娇问“哇！老公，太棒了，你真会逗我开心，谢谢，你帮我穿衣服。”他欣然应命，顺从的给我除掉睡袍，替我穿上内裤、胸罩及全身的衣服，我毫不配合，任由他服伺。那种感觉让我兴奋异常，无法用语言描述。此时我也决不会忘记虐待他，丝袜当然也要他给我穿，要他用脸给我垫脚，双手给我穿丝袜。我化妆时,他就主动跪在我脚下给我穿鞋。我发现这些事令我俩都很满足；我当然愿意他作更多的家务，哪个女人会不原意在家里能够彻底放松，看看电视或报纸，而他男人跪在一边给她做脚底按摩，和奴隶一样伺候着她开心呢？哪个女人会不原意享受，不原意被人伺候。经过如此这般训练，他就完全以我为中心了，为我做一切他认为是应该的。然而这仅仅是征服了他的肉体，他的精神还需要长期的统治才能屈服于你。

训夫4
在没有外人到我家的时候，我已经是女皇了，我进家门他会跪下迎接我，亲吻我的足尖，为我换鞋、更衣，我可以手不并拢，脚不着地，我的一切都由他替我做。换好鞋，看到我两腿的分开，他会乖乖地爬到我身边摇着身子：“公主，请您上马啦，”我笑一下，跨上她的背，两只脚贴着他的耳朵，拍了一下他的屁股，喊：“走，我的阿奴”。“阿奴，活都干完了吗？”“完了，公主。”他身上流露出的那种越来越强烈的奴性让我吃惊、更让我惊喜。爬到客厅的沙发前面，我命令道：“停”。他立刻停止爬行。我继续命令道：“头低下，向后退”说着用手抓住了他的头发把头向地面上按。他赶忙把头贴向地面并向后退爬。待我下“马”后坐到了沙发上，他跪伏在我的脚前额头贴着地面。我那双迷人的纤美的玉足就放在他的头前，我厉声说：“抬起脸来。”他仰起了脸，我把丝袜脚踏到他的脸上，他就主动的给我舔脚，再也不会犹豫，并且两手还要不停的给我捶腿。我品着他给我沏好的茶，奴役着他，享受着我的快乐。我躺靠在沙发上。他就跪在沙发边为我按摩捶腿，我休息2～30多分钟后，随着我的一声开饭，他赶紧双手替我把腿移到踏凳下，再次为我纤美的玉足穿上一双精美的绣花拖鞋。扶起我，或驮或抱的伺候我到餐桌前，服伺我吃饭。饭后，我看电视，他照例要贴身伺候，我已经不允许他在我没睡觉之前干其他的活了，他必须专心伺候我，我享受着他的捶腿、揉肩、按摩，手里拿着牙签，细细的品味着果盘里的水果，直到我要睡觉。由他给我洗脚或洗澡。我一般两天洗一次澡，卫生间里放着一把木制躺椅，洗澡的时候，我躺在躺椅上就可以了，一动不动任由他给我洗头发，然后再给我从乳房、后背、桃源洞、肛门、大腿、脚丫，他伸出灵巧的舌头，仔细认真的一点点舔着。舔上身的时候他双手在我下身摩挲，常常令我兴奋不已，桃源洞是他舌头停留最久的地方，我不的不提着他的脑袋把他移开，脚也是要花很多时间的，脚背、脚底、仔细的吮吸每根脚趾、舔净脚缝中的脚汗味。完了以后，我才会和着温水让他替我擦洗身体。我洗好了，才让他搀扶我到卧室的软床上躺好，他用护肤奶涂抹双手，跪在榻旁，为我再次做全身按摩。揉肩、捶背、捏腿、推拿、修脚。穿了一天高跟鞋的脚，他总要精心地多揉一会儿，每个脚趾都细细按摩。我的脚细嫩而光滑，如同白皙的绸缎。他揉着揉着总是忍不住把嘴凑上去，轻嗅那芬芳的脚香。我若是高兴，会分开两腿要他为我吮舔，直到我兴奋的弄得他满嘴都是我的蜜汁，这才舒服地睡去。现在我想如何享受，就可以如何享受，可以随心所欲虐待他。我想巡幸他，我就让他用嘴唤起我的情绪，然后跪着供我享受，供我玩弄，待我舒服透了，就让他停下，用嘴给我清理干净后，轻轻的给我捶腿，直到我睡熟，他才可以去干其他的活。从不考虑他是否满足，在保证随时满足我的前提下，我在周末有时也会开恩让他用自己手来进行一周的发泄。他会跪在地上边亲吻着我的脚边千恩万谢，直至放水方才罢手。有一次，他没有满足我，就跑马了，我让他跪在我床边，口中塞满我的裤袜，我躺在床上，手拿缝衣针没头没脑袋一顿乱扎，他即不敢躲又叫不出声来，痛的汗与眼泪齐流，看到他痛苦的样子，我渐渐开心了，直到我气消后，才允许他的嘴满足我，给我伺候舒服了，然后让他头顶着我的高跟鞋，跪在我床边，罚他跪了一整夜。打那以后，他不经我同意，从不敢放水。并且我还发现在床上我越主动，我就越要求自己的满足和快乐，就越忽视他正常的满足，我们俩就越满足和快乐。我还发现我越是不让他满足，他就越尽力地满足我个人的需求。

The Science of Cuckoldry

2005-01-28T23:08:00.000-08:00

By Dr. Ann

After studying human sexuality for many years it has become inarguable to me that a cuckold relationship (in which the wife engages in sexual activity with a variety of men while her husband remains faithful) is most compatible with basic human evolutionary make up. It is straying from this evolutionarily grounded human bonding relationship that has produced such misunderstandings and conflict between the sexes.

At the very base of this principle is the understanding of a woman's psychological need for a variety of sex partner's. Psychologically, women are hardwired differently than men. A woman has a dual sex drive. The first is centered on finding a mate for life to help support her and her offspring. This is why (and when) love is such an important part of a women's sexual desire. The second is a desire to obtain a variety of the best genetic material to produce the best children. This second desire begins to grow once a woman has found her life mate and grows stronger as time with him progresses. Eventually, this later and more powerful drive overpowers her sexual desire for her life mate. This is why a woman's sexual desire for her husband diminishes over time. At the same time her sexual desire for other men is increasing. Often this desire for other men becomes so strong she cannot deny it. This does not make her immoral or mean that she no longer loves her husband. It is simply part of her genetic code.

Physiological sexual differences between men and women also support the cuckold relationship as the ideal for marriage. It is well known that women don't reach her sexual peak until they are in their thirties, while men peak by the time they are twenty. In a typical marriage, a wife is generally younger than her husband or the same age. As a result, a woman's increasing sexual appetite, do to her biologically age based sex drive, gives her greater sexual needs than her husband. She needs more sexual encounters, longer sexual encounters and more orgasms than her spouse. Her older or same age husband, on the other hand, wants sex far less than his wife, oftentimes lasts only a few minutes before he reaches orgasm and then, no longer interested in sex, leaves his wife unsatisfied and frustrated. As a marriage continues this discrepancy in sexual needs increases dramatically, usually to the breaking point of a wife secretly finding a lover or lovers outside the marriage.

Compounding this is that nature has not only given women a two prong and exponentially stronger sex drive than men, it has also given women the ability to experience a far greater quantity, intensity, and variety of sexual pleasure and orgasm than men. This is nature's way of motivating a woman to seek out sexual activity considering the risk she bears in doing so. (Even though today's contraceptives greatly reduce these risks, they do nothing to diminish the internal triggers that drive a woman's need for a variety of sex and sex partners. If anything, this reduction of risk intensifies her drive to seek pleasure.)

As a result, women can experience a wide range and intensity of sexual pleasure and diversity of orgasm. Besides the pleasure and orgasms derived from manual, oral and coital stimulation of a woman's clitoris, all three of which feel distinctly different, a woman can reach a completely different sensation of pleasure and a completely different orgasm from the stimulation of her g-spot by a well endowed man. A woman can even reach orgasm by proper stimulation of her nipples if she has been brought to a state of intense clitoral arousal.

Stimulation of her nipples and clitoris at the same time will give her a yet another unique intense orgasm. Her ultimate height of pleasure is found in oral or manual titillation of her clitoris while simultaneously having her g-spot stimulated. It is interesting that this is best accomplished by the use of multiple sexual partners, suggesting nature's preference for male, female, male couplings. Finally, the crowning pinnacle of a woman's sexual superiority is her ability to have a multiple orgasm and full body orgasmic experiences.

Men, on the other hand, are far simpler sexually. Stimulate their glans (the little patch of skin at the front of the penis just below it's head) and they ejaculate. Furthermore, men can get nearly the same level of satisfaction from masturbating as the do completing a sex act with a woman. For women, masturbation will give them only temporary relief. Women need to have sex with a partner to be fully satisfied, especially psychologically.
The male also has a much simpler sex drive than a woman. He simply wants to mate with any female he finds
desirable. The longer he is denied sex, the stronger his desire grows and the criterion by which he finds a woman desirable lowers. Since it is the woman who decides if he will be allowed to have sex with her or not, his desire for her sexually is also linked to the desire for her approval. As he becomes more interested in her the desire to please her as a way to get sex can become overwhelming for him. That is why you will often see men acting foolishly in front of females they desire, even though they have no chance to have sex with them. That is also why, once married, a man will begin to take his wife for granted; now that he has easy availability of sex from her, she becomes less desirable to him.

One might think that this is a good argument for having an open marriage in which both a wife and her husband find sexual partners outside their marriage. Interviews with couples in open marriages have shown that these marriages almost always lead to a competition between the two spouses regarding who is having more sex with more partners. A wife will always win this competition because it is much easier for a woman to find sexual partners than it is for a man. The competition, however, can become nasty, ugly and often cruel. A wife will sometimes be drawn into the competition so deeply she will have sex with far more men than she wishes too, and her husband will have growing feelings of inadequacy, as he cannot keep up with his wife. This kind of competition almost always destroys a marriage.

Furthermore, the idea of open marriage assumes the erroneous notion that men need a variety of sex partners. While all evidence indicates that a married woman both physiologically and psychologically does need a variety of sexual partners, a married man does not. The genetic code that drives a man is the thrill of pursuit, not the need for variety. Husbands in clinical studies who's desire for their wives have waned and who's interest have turned to other women have been completely turned around when their wives begin using arousal and denial techniques on them. These techniques instill uncertainty in the husband as to whether he will be allowed to complete a sex act with her or not. Time after time, in study after study, these husband's desires have been focused back to their wives exclusively, losing all interest in other women. The wives in these studies were even able to vary their husband's level of interest through increasing or decreasing their application of arousal and denial techniques. It was further found that when these same wives reverted back to traditional sexual practices with their husbands, their husbands began to loose interest again and began to again look at other women as possible sex partners.

Interestingly, it was during the sexually repressive Victorian Era that an unusual mix of cuckoldry and the sexual arousal and denial of males was employed. It was believed at that time that many ills were caused by excessive male ejaculations. They believed that loss of sperm contributed to a whole host of maladies, from asthma to mental illness. As a result, chastity devices were often prescribed for men. This practice was so prevalent that over two hundred patents for male chastity devices were applied for during this era.

Conversely, at this same time, it was believed that women suffered hysteria from lack of sexual release. Orgasmic therapy was prescribed for the treatment and prevention of female hysteria. Women would visit their doctor, or the doctor would come to a woman's home to manually, or in secret, by more intimate means, deliver her orgasms. Most often it was married women who requested this therapy, often as much as three times a week. Some doctor's journals noted that the demand became so great that they had to delegate these visits to their interns.

A structured practice of female sexual satisfaction and male denial grew quickly. Women had a lot of leisure time and spread the word of the benefits of orgasmic therapy and spousal chastity through the popular women's societies prevalent at the time. Since men could not be trusted to have self-discipline, their wives were usually given the keys to their chastity devices. A kind of secret society developed in which these wives called themselves Key Holders. Key holding wives would deny their husbands sex while they enjoyed the services of their physicians and their physician's interns or secretly engaged in sex with other men. Within these women's clubs women introduced other wives who were unsatisfied with their husbands, to recommend chastity for their husbands and treatment for hysteria for themselves. Doctor's finding a man's wife desirable would also prescribe the same in order to gain access to her.

Some woman's journals discovered from this time period tell of their exploits with doctors, interns and other available men. The jest of the mailman and milkman delivering more than mail and milk are very well rooted in fact. It is interesting that a whole society developed around wives having sex with other men while denying their husbands who had to remain faithful to them. It is not uncommon to find entries in a wife's journal such as "I had a wondrous day today. After a most satisfying visit, for both myself and Doctor Elbridge's young intern, I spent a delightfully entertaining evening raising my poor husband's lustiness near to its pinnacle during this time that he must abstain from loosing semen. His antics were most amusing and raised my own lust. As always, he proved his devotion to me by pleasuring me in a most deliciously French way.( Mine will be the most scrumptiously naughty story of any lady tomorrow at tea)

Another journal tells how excited one wife was that she had her husband doing housework, an unheard of practice at a time when male and female roles were so rigid, illustrating again how arousal and denial of sex can totally alter a man's behavior. Other journal entries tell of the rise in attention from their husbands and the thrill of sneaking around behind their husband's back and having sex while their husband was "locked in his cage."
While diagnosing the damage done to women by denying them the fulfillment of their sexual needs may have been falsely labeled hysteria, the doctors of Victorian times were startlingly near the mark. Victorian doctors had insightfully identified the need women had for sex with a variety of men.

Unsurprisingly, since human societal structures were originally matriarchal, societies that still live today in ways closer to our original female and male roles do not suffer from the damages of psychological and physiological stress. These more basic societies, far from the modern world, are nearly always matriarchal. It is the women in these societies who control property, family affairs and sexual activity. These women will usually have multiple husbands and lovers. One or two of these men provide them with food, shelter and security, while the others provide them with sex. Male, female, male couplings are not only accepted, but quite normal. In some societies, certain "stud" males will exclusively service a wife, in others, wives will share, exchange and even trade stud males. Men in these societies are happy in their subordinate roles to women. While there are some incidents of jealousy, there is no violence, crime, or sexual perversion. Men are focused on pleasing their wives instead of impressing other women in the group or competing with other men, except in the area of being good sex providers. Wives will keep this competition light and fun and ongoing. Men focused on this kind of competition do not compete with each other in other ways either, leading to much stronger male/male friendships and cooperation.

An unlikely place further confirmation of the appropriateness of cuckolding in human bonding relationships was discovered in the findings of primate studies. In one study, researchers found two anatomical influencers of fidelity in primates. One was the physical size difference between the sexes. The other was the male's ratio of penis size to body mass.

It was found that in those species of primates where the female was considerably larger than the male, the female would have many sexual partners and bond with none. As female/male size became closer, the female would bond with one male. This male would remain faithful to her, but she would continue to have sex with non-bonded males. It was found that this was not reversed until the male became extremely larger than the female.
The second influencer the researchers discovered was the ratio of penis size to body mass. In species where the difference in physical size between the sexes was slight, (as it is in humans) the penis to body size ratio increased female dominated sexual behavior. The smaller the penis to body size, the more bonded males were restricted to activity with only their mate while females would engage in sexual activity with a variety of non-bonded males. Within these groups, females would generally bond with males with smaller penises and engage in sexual activity with better-endowed, non-bonded males. The most common activity between females and their mates was grooming and eating, with the far greater amount of sexual activity occurring between mated females and males other than their mates. Neither mated nor non-mated females would engage in sexual activity with bonded males who were not their own mates. The most frequent sexual activity of bonded males was masturbation.
This study particularly intrigued me because it's findings correlated so closely with my own experiences. I have assisted many couples in beginning and maintaining cuckold relationships. Among my patients, husbands with smaller penises were not only more agreeable to being cuckolded, but would even sometimes suggest it. These very enlightened, lesser-endowed, husbands were keenly aware of their inability to satisfy their wives sexually. By accepting their wives engaging in sex with other men they were relieved of the pressure to perform.
It makes sense that this behavior would be present in humans since humans are primates whose difference in size between the sexes is slight and men's penises are very small when compared to their body mass. Also interesting is that women, like other primate females, will rarely engage in sex with married men. A husband's wedding band makes for a fairly efficient chastity device.. A wife's wedding band, however, does little and sometimes even encourages pursuit by men. This further illustrates that the innate human proclivity for cuckold relationships goes genetically even deeper.

Our modern morals and the female/male roles imposed on us by society are not only aberrant behavior given our genetic make up, but psychologically unhealthy and morally unethical. It is unfair that a woman is forced to repress the powerful sex drives that are so genetically imbedded in her psyche. Most married woman simply can't do it. It is uncountable today how many wives are having sex with other men behind their husband's back because our society cannot accept a woman's natural needs.
At what point did we move from a matriarchal to a patriarchal society that perverted our male and female sexual roles? We have so inverted out ideas of human sexuality that we have come to believe that women have a lower sex drive than men when the reverse is true. We think that men should be free to have sex unbridled, when it is women who should be freed and men bridled. We have created a society in which women struggle with guilt and frustration over their natural sexual needs while men are obsessed with perverted sexual deviations from far too great an access to far to great a variety of sexual stimuli and freedom.

Just as our modern lives preventing us from responding to our need to express our flight or fight response leads to stress, and our turning from whole foods to processed foods give us all sorts of physical ailments, our denial of our natural sexual programming leads to untold emotional and behavioral problems. It would startle the average person to learn how many divorces are caused by the inequity of a woman's unfulfilled sexual needs. In an effort to protect the man from humiliation it is rarely mentioned in polite society that the reason for a couple's divorce was because the wife was finding sexual satisfaction outside their marriage. If we could be open and honest about a women's needs, and that it is not the fault of their husbands that they need to fulfill those needs outside their marriages, then maybe we could begin to embrace cuckoldry as a healthy societal norm and save far more marriages..

I have saved many marriages in my practice by gently introducing the idea and practice of cuckoldry to struggling couples. I have seen in my own female patients that once they start to engage in sex outside their marriage with the acceptance of their husbands and the security that their husbands will remain faithful, they become more centered, calm and confident. Similarly, once their husbands get past their jealous feelings and fear of inadequacy they become calmer and more mature, no longer engaging in childish behavior like nights out with the boys or an obsession with sports. They even loose their interest in pornography as their wives recounting of their extramarital exploits, or their participation in those exploits, becomes much more titillating to them than the artificial titillation of pornography.

When my female clients add the uncertainty principle of arousal and denial to their cuckold marriage a woman can bring her husband back to the days when they were first dating. Husbands become more focused on their wives and no longer suffer the frustrating feelings caused by a desire for unattainable women

Cuckold marriages can evolve into a great variety of preferences. In my own practice I have seen cuckold marriages that range from those in which cuckolding wives enjoy subjecting their husband's to humiliation and punishment, to those in which wives will have sex with other men in front of her husband as a form of entertaining them, to just about everything in between. Most couples in my practice, however, have very loving marriages with playful arousal and denial that seem conventional in every way except that the wife dates while her husband remains faithfully hers.

It is regretful that the cuckold relationships of Victorian times could not have evolved into an open way of life accepted by modern society. It is my hope that one day it will.

The Cuckold Husband / Hotwife Phenomena

2005-01-28T22:47:00.000-08:00

Dr. Cherry Lee, Ph. D.

(Dr. Lee has lectured and published in the area of analytical psychology, and she developed one of the first electronic systems for the quantitative analysis human behavior.

She started her counseling work by leading gestalt therapy groups. Apart from this, her several decades of professional experience has been largely limited to urban, affluent, female subjects.)

What Has Spurred the Cuckold Husband/Hotwife Phenomena?
Although motivations for the cuckold husband/hotwife phenomena actually cover a wide spectrum, here we'll cover a few of the most common.

First, the husband may suspect that his wife is becoming interested in experiencing sex with someone else. He may value the relationship and not want her to jeopardize things because of the deceit and secrecy that normally accompany affairs. In short, he wants to know about and approve any extramarital sex, and even have some control over it. The cuckold husband wants his wife's sexual encounters with men to be for sex only, with no marriage-threatening emotional entanglements. In this respect it is similar to attitudes about extramarital sex now held by many of the younger people in Japan.

The mass media often cast beautiful and desirable women as both sexy and prone to sexual liaisons. Whereas this type of woman used to be considered a "fallen woman" or even a "whore," in some minds she now seems to represent an enticing new standard.

Some women used to brag about how they could avoid marital sex, and despite the views of some radical feminists, such women are now suspected as being man-haters, latent lesbians, or simply having personal problems. Now, many women find a certain excitement in being viewed as sexually liberated. For some, especially some older women, there may be a certain ego gratification in still being viewed as being sexually desirable — even discretely promiscuous. While holding to the security of her primary relationship, she may revel in experiencing sexual freedom.

At the same time, most cuckold husbands want their wives to appear ladylike on the surface (in public.). But, among select men, they want they wives to be known as and "not hung up about sex," or even "great lays." Although this type of wife was once considered a threat to husbands — and it still is to most — the more psychologically secure males believe that a healthy and well-adjusted (and desirable) woman enjoys sex, and has the right to be just as open about it as men.

Plus, the husbands involved may pride themselves in being secure enough to handle a hotwife. He may even brag to another man about how his wife loves sex and can't get enough (which, not coincidentally, may be very much in contrast to the attitude of that man's wife). Implicit in the comment is that the husband has no problem with this, and that, in fact, he thinks his wife is pretty "hot." In many cases sex within the marriage has waned or grown dull and routine and the husband may get vicarious excitement in seeing (sometimes literally) his wife remain sexually active.

Many women realize that other women regularly enjoy "good sex," and although many wives have grown ambivalent about sex within their marriages and are reluctant to try new things, these barriers frequently fall with the expectations of new sexual partners. With new men there appears to be unspoken desire to "not disappoint" and "to be good in bed."

Even though she may have started to have doubts about her sexual desirability, as a hotwife she will probably find that men are again interested in her. For some women this can constitute a kind of new "sexual awakening."
This transformation can be quite disturbing for a husband who isn't prepared to handle it. These issues are discussed in much more detail in the next chapter.

In some circles a woman may wear a bold ankle bracelet on her right ankle to tell men "in the know" that she's a hotwife. (At the same time, most women who wear ankle bracelets do so without realizing the possible significance.) Once seen as a hotwife, she may flirt with select men, making it clear that she's available for sex.

Women As Sex Objects?
Many women feel that being a hotwife turns a woman into a sex object. This seems to be primarily based on the premise that enjoying sex is a masculine prerogative. However, more and more women are finding that this is not so.

Most women have lived their lives trying to act "like proper women" and shunning men "who have one thing on their minds." Now, according to one woman, "I let guys know I like sex."

Thus, she may soon get beyond, "what other people will think" and concentrate on the pleasures of the sexual experience — in particular, experiencing regular orgasms. This is often bolstered by the excitement that surrounds the culturally taboo aspects of a married women having sex with other men.

Often the Husband's Idea
All of this notwithstanding, the cuckold husband/hotwife phenomena is typically the idea of the husband who not only knows about the high number of female affairs, but is even sexually excited by visualizing another man having sex with his wife.

According to one husband, "I had to really change my view about how a wife is supposed to be, especially with guys finding out she's 'easy.' But now I can sort of get off on having a woman that guys know is pretty hot. Fact is, instead of being embarrassed or defensive, I now sort of brag about how she loves sex, and then I casually mention that this sure makes her a lot different than most wives."

According to another husband, "...after a while I got into the idea of encouraging her to let guys give her all the sex she can handle. ...She's settled on several guys she likes and she gets it from at least one of them almost every day. I don't mind her going off with a guy for a few hours; I don't feel like I have to take her out — they do that. In fact, I have to admit, I sort of get off on knowing [when she goes out with a guy] that he will soon have her clothes off and be in her. I can kind of get of on visualizing them going at it."

From her husband's perspective, if he can rid himself of the "fallen woman baggage" that pervades most of our culture, the fact that she is pursued by men, makes herself available to men, and is frequently bedded by men, introduces a bit of competition for her. This can strengthen the husband's resolve to "treat her right."

Or, things can move in the opposite direction, with the husband feeling that, to a degree, she is no longer "his," and he may find himself emotionally distancing himself from her. If such feelings aren't effectively addressed and resolved, they may seriously damage the relationship. Things aren't helped when his change in attitude is accompanied by her (however transient) excitement about new men in her life.

From the husband's perspective there is sometimes a "taming of the shrew" element. He may fantasize about a powerful (safe) man sexually awakening and dominating her, and forcing her to break free of sexual inhibitions. Some husbands know how exciting a new sexual partner and experience can be, and want to offer some other men this experience with their wives.
A husband may also fantasize about having a wife that is, to a degree, driven by both a physical and a psychological need for sex. Visualizing or seeing first-hand other men meeting this need in her —but only with his permission— may excite him.

The Woman's Perspective
Women have a different perspective on being a hotwife, of course. According to one woman, "I've got a sense of freedom in enjoying the company of men and not being paranoid about a jealous husband, or even being worried about what people will think. If I want to do it with a guy, I have the freedom to let it happen.

At the same time, the hotwife does not want jealousy or resentment to ruin her marriage or threaten the unusual freedom she enjoys, a freedom she knows that very few husbands would be willing to grant. Therefore, she needs to be careful to be totally open and honest to her husband about her lovers. This means that there will be no secret conversations or secret meetings with men. It may also mean that the husband may want to approve of the men she has sex with.

The cuckold husband may want his wife to announce her sexuality by wearing revealing clothes. For example, he may accompany her to a night spot in a distant city and have her dress in ultra-revealing clothes. This can serve to get them both used to the resulting male attention. Rather than being jealous, having a wife that is seen by other men as sexually "hot" may provide him with an ego boost. (Dare we suggest that for some men hot wives are replacing hot cars as a source of pride.) Thus, while the male and female motivations might be quite different in the cuckold husband-hotwife phenomena, the ultimate goal can be the same.

The husband has to adjust to his wife not being sexually exclusive to him. He will have to deal with meeting men who have had or want to have sex with her. To compensate for any suspected loss of his virility, the husband may remind others of his own previous sexual escapades. At the same time to prove his lack of jealousy, he may freely admit to men that his wife regularly enjoys sex with different men, and he may even subtly offer her to select men. According to one man, "I like to set things in motion like that just to see what happens."

The Quintessential Issue
What may seem desirable for the husband or wife while under the influence of testosterone, libido or fantasy, may later seem like a huge mistake. The result may be regret and marital estrangement.

Clearly, the cuckold husband/hotwife idea is at odds with cultural conditioning and human tendencies toward jealousy and possessiveness. Although these traits may not be desirable, they are the norm and must be recognized. Even assuming that both partners are okay with going in this direction, most of society isn't. With most people there is still a sigma associated with a promiscuous wife and a husband that lets his wife have extramarital sex. Most people who find out about this will respond negatively toward both partners.

This can be a problem in a work environment where "character" is a part of job performance and promotion considerations. (A common male chauvinistic attitude with roots in the "wife as the husband's property" notion says that a husband should keep his wife "under control," and if she has affairs she definitely isn't "under control.")
While many couples are able to keep their sexual activities private, they may live with the fear that they may be found out. At the same time, self-employed people who live in large urban areas, or people who work around like-minded individuals probably won't have this concern.

All this being said, given the ever-increasing number of affairs, and the emerging attitudes about condoned affairs in countries such as Japan, one wonders if somewhere down the road to cultural enlightenment U.S. society won't be ready to accept open relationships. We seem to be in the early stages of that now.

Although the transition will certainly be bumpy, if we are able to shift our emphasis to love and commitment to hold relationships together, rather than the refutable doctrines about sexual exclusivity which simply cater to jealousies and insecurities, it would not only eliminate much heartache, but it would remove many of the "justifications" for dissolving relationships.

The CYBELE Marriage

2005-01-28T22:30:00.000-08:00

by Anthony Merchant

MARRIAGE, in the not-too-distant days of yore, was a financial transaction, not unlike glorified prostitution. A father would trade the hand of his Daughter for, say, a team of oxen and a dairy cow. Often, the groom was decades older and no dead ringer for Tom Cruise. The Bride, of course, would have no say in the matter. A ring would be placed on the fourth finger of Her right hand, so the world would understand that She belonged to someone. That She, like the oxen and the dairy cow, was someone's property.

Thanks to the work of Elizabeth Stanton, Victoria Woodhull, Margaret Sanger, Gloria Steinem, and other less heralded Feminists, much progress has been made in the last century or so. Women now get to choose not only whom they marry, but if they will marry at all. Dowries have gone the way of virgin brides and arranged marriages. Wives no longer vow to honor and obey their husbands. Many choose not to adopt the husband's surname.

Still, marriage, as currently constituted in the Western world, is a vestige of the aforementioned days of yore. The wearing of white, for example, represents virgin purity-quite outmoded in these enlightened times. And the vaunted diamond wedding ring, while big and shiny and expensive, remains a symbol of ownership.
Clearly, we still have a long way to go. In the next few chapters, we'll examine where that journey may take us.

POLYGAMY
The Mormons formally endorsed the practice of polygamy in 1844, in part to increase that sect's population. Church leaders hypothesized that more Wives meant more Mormons. It did. And it's been big in Utah ever since.

Here's how it often works: The husband drifts from Wife to Wife, house to house, like a hummingbird pollinating a garden of flowers. The Wives spend most of the time alone, on the brink of financial and sexual poverty, raising the children, doing the housework, living like slaves. The husband has sex every day and lives like a god.
This is all as it should be, with one major difference: it is the Woman, not the man, who should have multiple partners. Three, at minimum; optimally, five. Why? Because sex should be primarily for pleasure, not procreation, and one man is too often incapable of satisfying a Woman. Most men are good for about ten orgasms a week. Calculating the number of orgasms most Women can have per week requires an abacus.
Consider the possibilities:

If husband #1 ejaculates prematurely, no big deal; husband #2 is on call, ready to relieve him. She just leans back and enjoys the fruits of their labor. Multiple husbands, for Her, equals multiple orgasms. The husbands, all vying for the affections of the beloved Wife (and the right of sexual release), would always try to outdo each other-buying thoughtful gifts, preparing exotic meals, composing sonnets and serenades. The household income, meted out according to the Wife's whims, would afford Her a life of absolute luxury. Punishment and humiliation would be easy with the other men around. And how fine a Woman would look, drawn in a sedan by her five husbands, on the way to the mall.

CUCKOLDRY
Cuckoldry is a must to keep husbands in line, particularly if circumstances prevent a Woman from taking multiple spouses. The rules here are simple: the Wife is allowed-nay, encouraged-to pursue affairs, heterosexual and otherwise, outside of the marriage, while the husband must remain faithful exclusively to Her.
The Wife should not keep these extramarital encounters from the husband. Instead, She should disclose everything in painstaking detail. If he complains about being jealous, She should explain that only his subpar performance between the sheets necessitates Her affairs.

AGE DISPARITY
It has been done so often and for so long that it's perfectly accepted by our society: a man on the wrong side of 40 marries a Woman just out of college (or still in high school, depending on regional age of consent laws). They are a good couple only insofar as She likes to spend money and he has too much to spend himself. He's undergone treatment for congenital baldness, She for breast enhancement. Everyone knows he's not marrying Her for Her brains any more than She's marrying him for his looks, but because no laws were violated (other than that of good taste), no one objects. But when you strip away the tinsel, what you're left with is base prostitution. Except that prostitutes can leave after their half hour elapses.

The point here is not to criticize the Woman who so weds. For all we know, She's funnelling Her hubby's stock options into FemDom web sites and Her urine into his mouth. What concerns us is that the converse is so rarely seen. What makes a Clint Eastwood or a Sean Connery sexy at 75, when Sigourney Weaver and Sally Field are too old to get leading roles anymore? We don't even see famous older Women marring young strapping males, let alone obscurer ones. And when we do, it's Larry Fortensky, who is not exactly Playgirl material. But tabloids are littered with the odious likes of Jerry Seinfeld or Woody Allen or Dodi, arms draped round some teenage waif.

And it's not just the celebrities, and it's not just the extreme. More often than not, a husband is older than his Wife. By five, six--sometimes ten or fifteen years. This is so common it's not even noted most of the time. The idea stems, I suppose, from the axiom that Women mature faster than men (an absolute truth if ever there was one). But Women reach their sexual peak at 35+, men sometime in high school--not the other way around. When the Anna Nicole Smiths of the world hit their prime, their husbands will be down to fortnightly orgasms, with prostate cancer knocking on the door. Surely no amount of money is worth such a bathetic end.
Ideally, the Wife should be seven-ten years older than the eldest of her five husbands.

PULLING THE PURSE STRINGS
Money makes the world go round. If we have money, we have the power to do what we wish. If we are financially dependent on someone else, we are slave to that person, no matter how thoughtful and considerate that person might be.

The primary reason Women have been considered second-class citizens for so long is because they have lacked financial clout. A Housewife in the 1950's could not leave Her husband without sentencing Herself to a life of poverty. Nowadays, Women are able to bring home the bacon. And bring it home They should.
It is essential that all financial decisions--now matter how trivial--are made by the Wife. She then has in effect veto power over Her life and the lives of Her husbands, who are completely dependent upon Her generosity.
All husbands should have their finances arranged thus:

All paychecks, bonuses, dividends, and what have you are deposited directly into the Wife's bank account, to which the husbands are denied access.

All savings earned prior to the union are also transferred to the Wife's account or accounts.
Husbands are allowed one credit card with a $250 spending limit, which is to be used only in case of emergency. Husbands are not issued ATM cards.

The Wife is responsible for paying all household bills, including the cost of food shopping and basic clothes shopping for Her husbands. She keeps Her checkbook under lock and key.

Husbands are given a nominal allowance each week ($70, say) for spending money, lunch, etc., and for other leisurely items, such as books or CDs. Any pornography that demeans Women is strictly forbidden.
Money is power, locally and globally. To further the Gynosupremacist cause on the large scale, men should make business decisions that favor Women. To wit:

If a man and a Woman apply for the same job and are equally qualified--and even if the man is slightly more qualified--the Woman should get the job.

Whenever possible, Female-owned companies should be employed as vendors.
Any kind of traditional sexual harassment should be rooted out, with men informing on other men. (Note that lewd e-mail jokes and objectifying comments are forms of harassment).

HARNESSING POWER
The strap-on dildo is a quintessential element of the Gynosupremacist marriage. The dildo itself should be larger than his erect member-several inches longer and thicker, if possible. What is his malfunctioning nubber next to a larger apparatus that never softens?

Anal intrusion with the strap-on is the device's obvious function. Sex of this kind at first will humiliate and hurt the husband, but in time, he will come to enjoy the penetration. What began as punishment will become reward.
Better to make the husband wear the strap-on. His member should be secured between his legs with a leather chastity belt to prevent erection and keep it out of the way. The use of the strap-on should be instinctive for the man, who, without having to worry about premature ejaculation or impotence, can work for hours pleasuring the Wife. He himself will only experience vicarious pleasure. Furthermore, after being accustomed to a larger phallus, if he ever tries to have intercourse with his actual penis, he will feel even smaller than he actually is.

CHASTITY REINFORCEMENT
The longer a man goes without orgasm, the greater lengths he will go to in order to achieve one. In other words, a teased man will do whatever his Woman wishes. Conversely, once a man climaxes, he is not thinking about sex any longer. The needs of his Woman are ignored.

Thus, the orgasm must be harnessed -- figuratively and literally. Denial of orgasm should be used as punishment, fulfillment of orgasm as reward. There are many methods to doing this, some more extreme than others, but here are some inviolable ground rules:

The husband should never under any circumstances masturbate, unless instructed to do so by his Wife.
The husband should never be permitted to release unless the Wife has already done so.

The Wife should never perform oral sex on the husband. If the husband desires fellatio, he should be made to find a man to sate this base desire.

Sexual intercourse implies by its very nature equity--the putting together of complementary parts. Because the husband should never be made to feel equal to the Wife, intercourse should be eschewed for cunnilingus and strap-on sex. Should the Wife nevertheless desire intercourse, the husband should never be permitted to orgasm.
On those rare occasions when a husband is allowed sexual release, he should do so by one of three means: 1) rubbing against a hard surface, such as the bed; 2) manual masturbation by his own hands; 3) through some undesired act of homosexuality.

Sexual release should be used as a reward, but should also be a punishable offense.

Semen should be disposed of in a way that humiliates the husband (i.e., oral consumption).

The Wife should not touch the husband below the belt if at all possible.

There are many methods to keeping the husband in line. The most extreme way to control the husband's orgasm is through the use of chastity control devices--chastity belts, piercings, and the like.

CYBELE marriage endorses the use of chastity belts and the rationing of male orgasms. Limiting the husband to one release per week is a good way to start. Ideally, he should be kept confined for two-three weeks at a time, with longer periods to punish bad behavior.

OWNERSHIP RITES
This means exerting your control over the man in some indelible way. Ownership rites can be extreme (scarification, branding, disfigurement). They can also be simple.

Here are some rites endorsed by CYBELE marriage:
A discreet tattoo--a heart with the Wife's name on his left pectoral,
Piercings of the nipples, penis, and scrotum
Shaving of the genital area
Cock rings
Toe-nail polish
The husband's taking of the Wife's last name.

WOMEN, SEX & POWER

2005-01-28T22:26:00.000-08:00

Patricia Sellers Reporter - Associates Eryn Brown And Tim Carvell

If women are from Venus and men are from Mars, then Rebecca Mark is from another planet altogether. Six years ago she was a 35-year-old student at Harvard business school, nicknamed Mark the Shark for her ferocious ambition. Today the 5-foot 7-inch honey-blond is a CEO. As a builder of pipelines and power plants, Mark brings electricity to browned-out corners of the earth. From Bogota to Bombay, the lady knows riots. She's dodged bombs. When foreign governments collapse, she digs in her high heels. After Hindu nationalists and their allies canceled her companies power project in India--the subcontinent's largest-ever foreign investment--Mark reincarnated the deal. "I enjoy being a world-class problem solver," she says. "I'm constantly asking, 'How far can I go? How much can I do?' "

Welcome to the corporate orbit of super successful women: the ones who blast through glass ceilings, achieve otherworldly feats, and take astronomical risks to boldly go where no man has gone before. FORTUNE looked inside hundreds of companies in dozens of industries and found seven women who are the best--better than the men and all other women in their businesses. Charlotte Beers led the most impressive turnaround of an ad agency at Ogilvy & Mather Worldwide. Jill Barad made Barbie the world's most popular toy. Little-known Roberta Williams is the best-selling designer of computer games. Some of these women are chief executives. This is not, however, a gender-bending group of tomorrow's CEOs. Linda Marcelli will never head Merrill Lynch. But as director of Merrill's flagship New York City district, she made FORTUNE's cut because she oversees the top-performing branches in the top market at the top brokerage firm.

The real surprise is how the women reached their pinnacles: They broke every rule imaginable and trashed the conventional wisdom of executive women's groups, career counselors, and other gurus of getting ahead. They didn't plan their careers. They didn't network and still don't--in fact, they despise the word. They don't blend into the corporate culture. They don't whine when the culture works against them, and they never cry, "Discrimination!" They don't play the man's game, literally or figuratively. They don't act like men or think like them. They never dress in androgynous suits and those homely bow ties. And they don't golf. Well, one of them does: Diana "Dede" Brooks, the unstuffy CEO of Sotheby's, one of the world's stuffiest companies. And wouldn't you know, she plays better than most guys, scoring in the mid-80s.

This new female elite is definitely not your parents' paradigm. Remember when executive women used to be overwhelmingly single and childless? All of the FORTUNE Seven have children. Five are married and two, Mark and Beers, used to be. Feminists in no standard way, they flaunt their femininity. As Rebecca Mark says, "It's startling to people when you're attractive and also really smart or extraordinarily good at what you do. You have greater impact. People want to meet you. They remember you." Beers, 61, is a flamboyant flirt who calls CEOs "honey" and "darlin'." She's been known to refer to IBM CEO Lou Gerstner, her largest client, as "that adorable little man." Says Beers: "One of the biggest mistakes women make in business is that they aren't friendly enough."

Which brings us to our title: "Women, Sex, and Power." By sex, we mean gender. Unlike so many women, these seven see their gender as a help, not a hindrance. (For some high-powered girl talk on this subject, read the box "Cocktails at Charlotte's.") We also mean sexuality, which these women skillfully exploit. Finally, by sex, we do mean sex. Women who are attractive and successful, particularly in male-dominated fields, sometimes have to fend off suspicions: How really did she reach the top?

Sexual innuendo dogs Mark, in part because several years ago she had an unusual relationship with John Wing, once her boss at Enron. People close to Mark and Wing say they had an affair; both were married to other people at the time. Mark declined to talk about their relationship, and Wing did not return repeated phone calls from FORTUNE. However, friends say that the mercurial and charismatic Wing began as a mentor to Mark, and later turned into a Svengali. After Wing left Enron, Mark assumed his duties of developing power plants. No surprise, rumors have circulated that Mark has had relationships with other Enron colleagues. "Of course they're not true," says Mark, "but it's terribly flattering that people think my life is so exciting. I think all I do is work, travel, and take care of my 11-year-old twins."

It's the Mary Cunningham curse. Sixteen years have passed since Cunningham, a young, blond MBA straight out of Harvard, arrived at Bendix, where she simultaneously became a top corporate strategist and a constant companion of CEO William Agee. Now married, the couple always denied having a sexual relationship at Bendix. But the Mary-and-Bill saga was the talk of the business world, and it remains so titillating that high-powered women to this day carry some burden of proving they did not sleep their way to the top. "There are still so few women in high-powered corporate jobs," says Kathleen Reardon, a professor at the University of Southern California business school and an expert on male-female relations. "When people see something unusual, like a woman who is No. 1, rumors provide a rationale." For women, the dilemma is how to fight them. "Defensiveness causes more rumors," Reardon says. "You know, 'the lady doth protest too much."
The FORTUNE Seven are complex, controversial women who have made long--and not always politically correct--marches to the top. Nonconformists to the core, they have unique styles but also share some similarities. Here are five ways they have acquired and kept their power.

THEY USE THEIR SEXUALITY
Most women in business downplay their sex appeal. They seem insistent on being judged like men, repressing a trait they could be using to persuade, win favor, gain power-- okay, manipulate their way to the top. Not these women. Says Barad, decked out in shocking pink from shoes to suit to lipstick: "We never gave up our femininity. We didn't become little men. I don't care to get on equal footing with men." Welcome to the boys' club anyway, Jill. Barad, 45, is expected to become Mattel's CEO next year, making her one of two female chief executives in the FORTUNE 500. (The other is Marion Sandler, CEO, along with her husband, of Golden West Financial, a California S&L.) Like Barad, Linda Marcelli greets colleagues and clients with hugs, sometimes kisses. "If one of my financial consultants is having a problem, I'll put my arm around him," says Marcelli, 53. "A male manager once asked me incredulously, 'You touch your financial consultants?' I said, 'Yeah. What's wrong with that?' " In fact, these women are taking advantage of an odd double standard: Men who touch women risk accusations of sexual harassment.

Charlotte Beers is known for sweeping theatrically into client meetings. Even before hellos are exchanged, she'll drawl to the group, "Now, you're gonna give us this business today, aren't you?" To most men, she's beguiling. Sears CEO Arthur Martinez, an Ogilvy client, says, "I think a lot of male-female business relationships get stilted. What I like so much about Charlotte is that you can have fun with her." Beers's former colleague BBDO International President Jean-Michel Goudard says, "Charlotte, more than anyone in this business, wants to seduce. There's something deep about Charlotte, and also frivolous. She is a woman, a woman, a woman."
It is the women, the women, the women who knock her style. Some say she sets feminism back years. "The criticism really ticks me off," says Beers, who comes across in an interview as intimate, incisive, tough, funny, and a decade younger than her 61 years. A cowboy's daughter from southeast Texas, she first learned to dazzle the crowd when she was in her 20s, teaching algebra to oil-patch engineers. Beers reckons that Southern charm is simply smart business. "Yes, I call CEOs 'honey,' but to me, that's wry Texas humor," she says. "I'm likely to say the most outrageous thing in the room--to liven things up."

Four years ago, Beers seemed an unlikely corporate revivalist. The longtime head of Tatham RSCG, a one-office ad firm in Chicago, she moved into a New York company with 270 offices around the world and famously inbred management. Ogilvy & Mather used to be the class act of Madison Avenue. Then in 1989 it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Britain's WPP Group. When Beers arrived, key Ogilvy veterans had quit. Clients were pulling major accounts. "A lot of people thought Charlotte should have her head examined for going to Ogilvy," says WPP chief executive Martin Sorrell. "And most people thought I was crazy to hire her."
Sorrell, who pays Beers $1.5 million a year plus stock options, acquired a CEO many thought was mercurial, flighty, and disorganized. Instead of talking profits, Beers preached "passion"--the essence, she said, of resurrecting Ogilvy & Mather. She had one big idea to sell to clients: "brand stewardship." Insiders considered it pretentious shtick about the emotional bond between a product and its consumer. Even David Ogilvy, the 85-year-old Scot who founded the agency in 1948, was a skeptic. "I had to shepherd the idea because our own people were unconvinced," says Beers, adding, "I think consensus is a poor substitute for leadership."

She globetrotted, mostly alone, visiting 50 clients in six months. "As a woman, I got in to see people quickly," says Beers. "they were curious about me." Before long she landed two important accounts: American Express, which had earlier yanked its $60 million business from Ogilvy, and Jaguar. During a pitch to Jaguar executives, Beers tossed her own car keys on the table, then rhapsodized about the relationship between an owner and her Jag. She didn't create Ogilvy's award-winning campaign, but it is quintessential Charlotte: a glamorous ode to the Jag, set to the 1961 Etta James recording, "At last my love has come along. My lonely days are over..." She tools around Manhattan in her ice-blue XJ6. Her buddy Martha Stewart drives the same Jaguar in gray.

It's supposed to be a secret, but Beers's No. 2, Shelly Lazarus, is likely to become Ogilvy's new CEO before the end of this year. Lazarus, 48, was the key to reeling in the worldwide IBM business two years ago--the largest account shift in the ad industry. IBM made Ogilvy hot again and helped attract global advertisers such as Kodak and Swatch. (Ogilvy, the sixth-largest ad agency, has billings of $7.6 billion, up from $5.5 billion when Beers arrived.) Beers will probably remain chairman for a while. Says WPP's Sorrell: "I hope Charlotte will work with WPP for life."

Woman as Goddess

2005-01-28T22:19:00.000-08:00

Reported by Melanie Wells - from Penthouse Magazine

When Camille Paglia burst onto the scene three years ago, her iconoclastic views on art, literature, and sexuality were published in Sexual Personae: Art and Decadence from Nefertiti to Emily Dickinson. Since then Paglia, 46, a professor of humanities at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, has published a second book and become notorious for her controversial views on the roles of men, women, and sex in society. For example, Paglia rankled fellow feminists by asserting that "whenever sexual freedom is sought or achieved, sadomasochism will not be far behind"; "rape is male power fighting female power"; and pornography is art. Penthouse thought it would be interesting to take the professor, who admits she is bisexual, out on the town to sample New York's best-known strip clubs and comment on what they mean in the arena of sexual politics. A brash, fast-talking Paglia, who maintains that stripping is "a sacred dance of pagan origins," was bursting with enthusiasm and theories. In a tour of three Manhattan clubs, she surveyed scenes of writhing women and ogling men with candid observations that were entertaining and often startling.

Because most of my life I was openly lesbian, I totally understand men's passion for women. Women are beautiful and remote and unreachable. You feel desperate. There's nothing you can do to win their favor. The only thing men want is women's attention, and in nude dance clubs, they can get it for a moment.
The feminist line is, strippers and topless dancers are degraded, subordinated, and enslaved; they are victims, turned into objects by the display of their anatomy. But women are far from being victims -- women rule; they are in total control.

My whole life I've been gaga about beautiful women. That's why I have this angle on it -- I can see the way men see. White middle-class feminist rhetoric has been produced by professional women, lawyers, bookworms, and paper pushers who can't stand the fact -- it's unbearable to them -- that most men will still turn their heads and gasp when a beautiful women walks into the room and exposes a little tit and ass. It's a white, bourgeois prejudice to find the seductive wiggling of a butt degrading.

Even though I'm one of those supersmart white middle-class women, I don't have this jealousy. I'm strong enough as a woman to say that it's natural for a beautiful young girl walking into a room to capture the attention of all the men and women. That's an eternal human principle. It's not white male hetero-sexism. It's universal. All people admire youth and beauty. In the Greco-Roman tradition, youth and beauty are divine and worthy of worship. That's my theory. I'm saying that people go to strip clubs to see beauty and it's fucking elitist for people who go to museums to look at paintings and statues of beautiful bodies to denigrate strip clubs. These museum goers are staring at beautiful nude bodies for pleasure, and it's supposedly high art. The educated and rich get their kicks in museums. Most people who come to these mid-level or sleaze-level clubs are usually not highly educated literati. It's perfectly legitimate for them to want to look at beautiful female bodies.
I don't want a culture that says that a woman exposing her breasts is degrading. That's white middle-class bullshit. Men are fascinated and terrified by women's sexuality. That's why they pay prostitutes. The feminist analysis of prostitution says that men are using money as power over women. I'd say yes, that's all that men have. The money is a confession of weakness. They have to buy women's attention. It's not a sign of power; it's a sign of weakness.

At Flash Dancers, a middle-of-the-road topless bar, a blonde with slightly sagging breasts is onstage, acrobatically simulating sex against a fire pole. Her fluorescent yellow bikini top is draped over the head of one patron, a young man wearing a flannel shirt, who watches the dancer thrash against the pole, then clasp it between her legs. Simultaneously, several feet away, a dark-haired woman wearing a skimpy red bikini inches from the faces of two male customers. Smiling coquettishly, the dancer slides her bikini top aside, exposes her small breasts, and massages her nipples.

Look! The men don't know what to do! The money they're stuffing into the dancers' garters is a ritual offering, and the women are wearing their booty around their thighs. They're displaying dollars as trophies, just as the great women in history -- the great queens and courtesans -- have worn diamonds and emeralds.
The dancers are flirtatious but removed. Even when they approach the men, even when they're dancing at the men's tables, there is something removed or detached about them. The men know it. The men value it. The men all know they can never fully penetrate the dancers and their lives. This is a point I made in Sexual Personae: Feminists are wrong to think that when women expose their breasts -- or even their genitals in a beaver shot -- they are totally exposed. No woman is ever totally exposed; you can never fully penetrate her womb, the heart of her sexual nature. Every woman we're seeing tonight is still mysterious. No man ever thinks, even when he is putting money in her garter belt, that he has her secret.

But men are totally exposed sexually. Their penis and scrotum are externalized and vulnerable. Men have no secrets that they're hiding. Men in strip clubs are completely cowed. They are dazzled. The only time the men feel remotely superior is when they're young, 19 or 20 years old, and in a pack. They'll come in very giddy, drink a lot, and try to get their spirits up. Even then, if there are six of them, one woman coming over to them totally throws them off. My theory is that woman rules the universe; woman is the dominant sex. Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct was a great example of woman's power. Stone uncrosses her legs, shows a little pussy, and it turns the men to jelly.

The idea that exposure of nudity is degrading to women or anyone else is absolutely nonsense. It's one of the biggest lies of the feminist establishment. If they would just open their eyes and visit these strip clubs, they'll find the exact opposite of what they've been complaining about. The more a woman takes off her clothes, the more power she has.

The feminists who claim that woman are violated and diminished by this kind of format don't know what they're talking about. Current feminist rhetoric has gotten parched and bleached and sanitized and distorted. It doesn't allow for passion, for instinct, for lust, for beauty, for the awesomeness of nature. It's not sufficient to explain sex. So, bizarrely, the more antiporn that bourgeois feminist rhetoric gets, the more these clubs will arise, because they are fulfilling a deep need.

Strip clubs are pagan temples, pagan shrines. It goes all the way back to Babylon, which has a very bad reputation in the Bible, where it's a synonym for sin and decadence. Why? Because apparently there was ritual prostitution in the great temples. Women offered themselves to random strangers in honor of the great goddesses of the ancient Near East and Asia Minor -- modern Turkey.

In these pagan cults, the goddess was omnipotent. What we call striptease -- that is, erotic dancing -- was central. Contemporary strip dancing is in the mainline of this kind of ritual dancing. Belly dancing, where you clearly see the sexual undulations of the hips and pelvis, was designed to incite the lust of aging sultans. That's exactly the kind of dancing that was forbidden by Judeo-Christianity, which has always been opposed to dance. Christianity wants us to rise above nature, above our sexuality. All activation of the body is pagan -- it's never degrading. Instead, it's filling a hole, the vacuum in our religion. Judeo-Christianity is not enough. It cannot explain sexuality. It suppresses the organic rhythms of the body.

In other words, the more something is forced underground, the more intense it gets because it becomes taboo, forbidden. This makes it dangerous and very alluring. So you have these women letting us look at them. The areas of the body they're exposing are the ones we're not allowed to look at.

College women are being trained in women's studies courses to say that when men focus on a woman's breasts and buttocks, they are reducing women to dead parts. This is absolute bullshit. I'm radical on this. I'm militant. I know I'm really extreme, and most women probably can't feel what I feel. I say there is nothing degrading in the exhibit of any naked form, in whole or in part, male or female. In India you've got copulating nude bodies -- three- and foursomes -- depicted on the temples. In Hinduism the body is part of nature and the cosmos; sexuality is seen as the life force of the universe. In Judeo-Christianity we have a problem. We feel we always have to surmount nature, to contain and control it.

Our best women students are being taught that pornography and strip clubs lead directly to rape, that there is no space between men going to see this and then attacking women. This is absolute nonsense. The truth is, the minute you have a complex, advanced, urbanized society, throughout history, you get prostitution, stripping, and homosexuality. Immediately.

What does that mean? It means that as soon as people cluster together, the reality of sex erupts. What you see in pornography and prostitution is the reality of sex. It is not a patriarchal distortion. It is the ultimate physical reality. So a feminist who claims to understand sexuality but cannot deal with pornography or topless clubs is no expert. She is a censor. She is a prude.

Stripping is not about sexual freedom; it's about freedom of sexual imagination. Stripping, erotic dancing, is an art form, and the artistic level of the scene in American has increased enormously. It's obvious that it's a new vocation. Dance itself has gained in stature recently. I think Madonna, with her sensational dance routines, has helped bolster the pride and self-confidence of these women. They are professionals, and they know they are in control. They aren't apologetic or defensive. These girls know their power.

At the Paradise Club, the beer is cheap, but a private viewing of two women making love will set you back several hundred dollars. It's a hard-core strip joint in a quiet neighborhood off Broadway. Chairs rim a room-length platform on which two women stalk naked.

A curvaceous black woman stoops in front of patrons and allows them to peer between her heavy thighs. By regulation, they can't touch her, so she massages herself absentmindedly. Porno movies run on televisions suspended at both ends of the platform, but they are largely ignored. The main attraction tonight is a lithe, long-haired woman with one tattoo and a penchant for bending over in front of pairs of sheepish male patrons and exposing her hairless genitalia.

Look at those two young men! They don't know what the fuck to do. The girl is dancing right at their table. She's flirting with one of them, touching him, flaunting her rear end in his face. The men are desperately looking at each other for support. They're embarrassed. She is in total control. They're paying her a tribute. They're offering her money for her momentary attention. They are as abashed as they would be with their mothers.

There's nothing humiliating in this. Look, she's totally self-assured. He's nervous, insecure. She's helping him feel confident. That is part of her skill -- to make him feel relaxed. He is admiring her. She's lifting up her breasts for him to see. Now she's leaning over and shoving her tits within inches of his face. He loves it! He's purchased a close encounter with beautiful female breasts. And why shouldn't he? I think it's wonderful.

These women have great asses. Twenty-five years ago in America, only breasts mattered. Asses were not important. Now we've gotten much more sophisticated, in the European way.

I first became interested in topless dancing when I was teaching at Bennington College in the 1970's. Some of my students were moonlighting as topless dancers. They made a lot of money, but they and their coworkers always drew a very firm line between themselves and prostitutes. Many of the dancers are single or divorced mothers who rightly regard what they do as a profession. They know it's an art form, a craft with demanding skills.

Strip clubs today are far less squalid than the clubs I saw 20 years ago, before feminism improved the status of women. These women are very secure about themselves. I'm very happy with what I'm seeing here, because I think it's showing a kind of European cosmopolitanism. For more than a century in Paris, there have been all kinds of sophisticated displays of sexuality, such as the shows at the Moulin Rouge. In Europe it's accepted. European television has a tremendous amount of nudity. Men and straight women over there like to look at beautiful female bodies. In London, one of the most popular family newspapers has a topless "Page 3" girl every day.

I don't want a culture that says a woman exposing her breasts is degrading. That's just puritanism. We are so fucking parochial about this. The feminist establishment believes the stripclub scene is chaos, all debauchery and decadence. It's not It's as strictly organized as a faculty meeting at Princeton University.

At Stingfellows Pure Platinum, patrons wear Armani suits and can enjoy an expensive full-course dinner while watching gorgeous "entertainers" dance and drop the tops of their full-length gowns. During individual dance routines, the women shed everything but skimpy thong bikinis and invisible patches of latex covering their nipples. When they're not performing, the women mingle among their guests as if they were hosting an intimate cocktail party.

Twenty dollars buys you a provocative table dance, where a woman of your choosing sheds her dress and dances suggestively over your lap. Hard work? The best dancers take home from $700 to $1,000 a night.
Men Don't just want to see women taking their clothes off. They want to see beautiful women. Period. Some women here are in various stages of undress, but others are fully clothed, promenading around in fabulous glittering evening gowns. We are being treated to the full range of women's sexuality. This is theater, a mesmerizing sexual theater. There's an energetic, improvisatory quality. It's very sexy. It's almost as if the women sauntering around were creating their own plays, their own little dramas. There's a classy, high-fashion element that I think is a real step forward in American eroticism.

Strip clubs are an art form for the masses. It's the highest paternalistic condescension when people attack and dismiss them. We haven't seen a single man cross the line anywhere tonight. What we have seen is men understanding that women rule the world.

I issue a challenge to all those prudes and puritans who are carrying on from the oh-so-safe precincts of the Ivy League to come to one of these clubs and actually watch the men's behavior. The reality totally contradicts the bullshit feminist ideology. All sexual entertainment is pagan; that is, it's oriented around the supreme fact of woman as goddess.

You can sense the awe in men's attitudes to each of these women as an incarnation of the goddess figure. I'm radically pro-pornography. The dominance of woman's image in pornography is not about the subordination of woman -- it's the opposite. It's about male anxiety. It's about the male mind trying to confront and take control of this enormous, mysterious power of female sexuality.

Men are run ragged by female sexuality all their lives. From the beginning of his life to the end, no man ever fully commands any woman. It's an illusion. Men are pussy-whipped. And they know it.
Everything we've seen tonight shows women in control and trying to be patient and nurturing with the men. You see that so clearly with prostitutes and strippers. Very powerful sexual women always know that men need to be led and guided. Men need help.

The sex industry exists as a rebuke to the philosophical inadequacies of Judeo-Christianity. Our religious system is simply incomplete. Unlike Hinduism, it has never fully dealt with the power of woman's sexuality. Until our culture does, we'll continue to get it in these underground ways. That's what strip clubs are about: not women as victim ... not woman as slave ... but woman as goddess.

Perfect Relationship

2005-01-28T19:26:00.000-08:00

The "Perfect Relationship" in this boi's instance is one in which my Wonderful Wife of 30 years, recognizes and takes full and complete advantage of Her Power and Full Authority over me. The focal point here is that She be all that She may ever want to be and do anythng She wishes at anythime with anyone that She desires to be with.

In the last few years, i have recognized that i have been a typical selfish macho male and i have undertaken self training to be more caring, thoughtful, loving, understanding, attentive and helpful than before. i have spoken sincerely with Her about my being a submissive sissy house boi/boi wife, and i have taken on all of the house cleaning chores (laundry, dusting, dishes, ironing, etc.) and for a time was doing all of the grocery shopping and cooking as well. i shaved all of my body hair off and left a small patch of pubic hair above my genitals and have even "played dress-up" (cross dressing) for Her. The first time she laughed so hard she had tears in Her eyes, and She complimented me on my "look" (allthough i am not what i would call "passable" unless it is at night with no moon?)i am very affectionate with Her although i also admit i have never provided Her with as much, as often and for as long as She wanted and needed.

She knows She has the absoulte right to engage in intimacies with one or more others anytime, anywhere and for as long as She likes, with or without me present. To date, She has not exercised all of Her Rights and Authority. So ... for this humble and obedient submissve sissy, a "Perfect Relationship" would be one where my Wife exercises all of Her Authority and Rights to the fullest extent that pleases and/or amuses Her.

In "public", i appear as a "regular guy", and She is always pleased to show me off as her "hubbie". i tease Her gently now and then and we enjoy each others company. It may be a stimulating conversation about almost anything, or going to the theater or simply sitting quietly in front of the fire place snuggeled up and enjoying the quiet warmth and intimacy of the moment. There are times when i find myself falling back into my "old behaviour" and most often i correct such "back sliding" before She notices it or mentions it.

We are very family oreinted, we are grand parents, and we both are sentimental. She is Magnificent in all respects, with her twinkeling eyes, a quick warm smile, and is very affectionate and loving. So for me, it is "almost as perfect" as one culd hope for. Now if she would only take on a Lover or two to satisfy her sexual needs completely, and be more of a Domme more often, i would be in heaven with the lnowledge tat She "owns" me completely and enjoys my total commitmnet to serving and worshipping Her!Thank You/you for Your/your consideration and attention. Genuinely wishing One/one and All/all the very best in Your/your enedeavors.

A “modern woman’s” guide in male oral servitude

2005-01-27T06:37:00.000-08:00

Foreword:
When talking about oral sex most men automatically think first about fellatio, blow jobs etc. and only later on maybe about cunnilingus or eating pussy. It is such a common male attitude and unfortunately as well a widespread image in magazines, films and groups/communities on the net. A picture of a naked girl on her knees sucking a guy’s cock doesn’t raise an eyebrow anymore, but a naked guy on his knees eating out a girl always stirs the emotions, especially when the girl is still fully dressed …apart from maybe her panties.

This little difference doesn’t bother anybody in case of a guy receiving a blow job with his flies barely open, cock out and the rest of him still fully clothed while the girl is fully naked on her knees in front of him?

WHY?
Well times have changed and women have become much more self assured (still nowhere near enough though!!). They are not putting up with this attitude anymore. In fact most "modern women" do not hesitate to demand oral stimulation from a man and tell him as well how they want it. Finally!

In this sense I definitely consider myself a "modern woman", but being a as well a dominant wife (not a dominatrix!) with a sub hubby, I am of course lucky enough to get a lot more than just an occasional quick lick for which I am supposed to give a blow job in return or even open my legs to be penetrated! I want and get memorable, mind blowing, extended, passionate and willing male oral service and satisfaction – nothing less will do!

I have read the several guides to good cunnilingus in this group and enjoyed them very much. I think they are quite sweet and definitely a good start for every man, who is truly willing to give his lady a good treat and show his love and adoration for her. Equally I really enjoy most of the pictures and it is very nice to see that at least some men these days are willing to perform orally for their ladies. However we are still far away from an equal balance let alone a situation where cunnilingus is more common than fellatio.

A fair balance is reached once we have a female American president, who will still stay in charge after she has sexually abused one of her male secretaries by forcing him to orally satisfy her! Ever thought about it this way round?? This thought makes it obvious how far away we still are from a well balanced society.

I think it is really time to find groups and communities that deal with topics such as cunnilingus, analingus and male oral servitude in general. As usual you can find plenty of clubs and sites dealing with cock sucking, cum covered female faces or cum filled female mouth. There seems to be no limit to exploit this form of oral servitude to the maximum. Why not the other way round?

What about all us ladies who enjoy being orally serviced… - and I mean properly, passionately and devotedly?
This group is at last a fine start, congratulations!

However I would love to see this form of oral servitude being exploited and presented with equal passion, hard core display and explicit reality than all the fellatio scenes. It seems nearly impossible to find e.g. a picture of a man’s face covered in pussy juice or a humbly presented open male mouth full of vaginal discharge or female cum, a male tongue with female slime dripping of it. Why not?

I would love to see pictures of male faces fiery red hot resulting from a grinding, rubbing pussy or a good, hard face ride!

The technique to picture the moment of a man ejaculating onto a woman’s face or into her willingly opened mouth has been refined no end. Why can’t we see pics of women climaxing and pumping their juices onto their partner’s face or into his lovingly presented open mouth?

I don’t know and it is surely not because women can’t ejaculate or produce a good load of love juices. This prejudice has hopefully been eradicated, even tough I can imagine that there are still quite a few men that don’t know that women ejaculate as well, probably because they were never "down there" with their tongue and mouth !!! Just because it is not male spunk it doesn’t make it any less spectacular. As a matter of fact most women can even discharge a lot more than men do, so where’s the problem?

You can find these Japanese sites that basically celebrate male ejaculation, particularly women having to eat it… in large amounts ( bukkake )! Not enough, the women have to lick it off plates, drink it out of cups after they have been filled to the rim by a string of males ejaculating in it etc.!

All no problem - obviously very popular to boost the poor Japanese male ego!

Fine! What about celebrating males eating their own spunk after they have been wanked off, i.e. milked by their ladies?

What about pics of women ejaculating into a glass - after a good session of cunnilingus or masturbation - and make their man drink it… and lick it clean!!??

What about lots of more pics of male tongues cleaning cum filled pussies (cream pies!) or dripping, slimy wet vaginas?

What about pics of males performing orally on a string of ladies or being queened by a group of ladies and then showing lovely pics of their slime covered, red hot and sweaty faces?
As you can see my idea of cunnilingus goes quite a bit further than just a bit of licking, obviously of course due to my dominant nature, but as well due to being a "modern woman", who would like to enjoy the same pleasures, amusements and liberties as men can.

I consider cunnilingus and anilingus much more than just a sexual act!

For me it is as well an act of being worshipped, adored, and loved and …..Respected!

Furthermore I consider cunnilingus and anilingus excellent ways for a man to prove to a woman how much he is willing to unselfishly please, serve and satisfy her and how much he is willing to swallow his macho pride for HER pleasure and amusement, ignoring his own benefit.

I mean there is of course a good dose of male humiliation (and sometimes suffering) in it, depending on the way the oral service is performed or demanded…. - AND? - So there should be as this is a major part of the fun!! When I look at the fellatio sites and groups, the sexual act of cock sucking is not predominant, but it is the actual act of subduing and humiliating the woman at the same time. It is basically all about male power and male domination.

It is a power game – no doubt about that! The only problem is that the female aspect of it is hardly exploited at all compared to the male side.

That is the reason why I want to encourage women to demand much more from their men, lovers, fiancé’s, husbands etc.! On the other hand I want to convince as many men as possible that you don’t have to be a wimp when orally servicing your lady with passion and devotion! A man that does it convincingly, eagerly and openly sticks up for it never appears as a wimp.

But how to start?
Of course the cunnilingus technique how to lick, suck, breath (especially when being queened), swallow etc. is important, but equally important for me is the way the whole act is "celebrated".

There is much more to it than just "slobbering" away like a dog!!

After enjoying my husbands unlimited and unconditional oral servitude over years I have developed I very high standard what I expect from a man when it comes to performing orally on me – no matter how!

Therefore I have created "guidelines" how to properly worship a lady orally ( see guidelines at the end of my letter….-> for you to add to your collection, so maybe some guys get the idea and some ladies will be inspired and encouraged to demand proper and memorable oral service !! ).

I have created these guidelines to keep my hubby on his toes and set the standard for him, i.e. what I expect from him regarding oral servitude. Of course I did it as well to cause him a sweet, but constant humiliation, as I often make him read the rules again. His thorough humiliation is always guaranteed, when I let one of my lady friends read the rules. Now we have kids and have to behave a bit more cautiously, but beforehand the rules were in a picture frame hanging over his side of the bed!!

Now don’t get a wrong picture of me! I am not at all a leather clad, whip yielding dominatrix. I don’t like chains, leather, dungeons etc. at all. Female dominance for me has got nothing (or very little) to do with this. Unfortunately it is the image portrayed in the SM scene and a typical male fantasy.

Fem dom in my view should not take anything away from a woman’s normal female attitude, appearance and nature. A modern woman well cared for and using her natural female beauty is by far powerful and dominant enough to manipulate and dominate a male. I enjoy being a woman and use all the tricks in the books to make my man’s (and sometimes "a" man’s) brain slip between his legs. It is usually easy, especially when the male already has a submissive nature….! In any case though, female beauty presented with style and in a ladylike fashion never fails to cause some drooling and eye popping. I have hardly ever met a man that doesn’t react to some nice legs, thighs, high heels, tights or stockings, a nice cleavage, red lips and fingernails etc. etc. all presented sexily, but in a ladylike and proud manner, far from being slutty! You may call it power dressing and it works… unless a man is 100% gay!

Now all you sub guys out there: don’t start pestering me now with emails. I am not a pro, but just a normal dom wife/woman, who enjoys her sub hubby. I am not a public dominatrix, OK?

You may call him "lucky bastard", well maybe he is… and sometimes he isn’t! I can assure you that it is not always funny for him, in fact quite often he probably wished never to have sparked the female nature in me (which started with unselfish and memorable cunnilingus!!). I may not like leather, dungeons and silly excessive violence, but that doesn’t mean that I am not prepared to use the cane or the strap severely when I think fit….and I can do so wearing a pair of jeans or a track suit!! No need for leather clad outfits.

Physical discipline DOES make part of fem dom, of course, but I usually prefer a sounding face slap or a vicious grab between his legs to needles, torture, burning etc. ! It is much more feminine and above all, always and promptly available when needed.

In any case I much more prefer sweet, but burning humiliating games to brute force. Hurting the male ego and macho pride is much more amusing than hurting his arse (mind you one doesn’t have to exclude the other ! ).
OK, but for all you hopeful guys out there, I am however willing to give an advice to all men that dream of serving a dominant woman ( as this is the most frequently asked question I get from desperate guys looking for a dominant partner… and there seem to be loads of them !! ).

"Cunnilingus" is surely THE key for any man who wants to let his lady know about his submissive nature and light the natural ( !! ) female dominant side in her ( …it surely worked for me ! ) by using a diplomatic, sweet and loving way ( but guys remember : once the fire is lit in a woman, there is no way back !! ).

My advice for every man trying to find a dominant partner: start slowly and start by showing her that HER pleasure and satisfaction are much more important to you than your own pleasure and satisfaction and above all …….more important than your macho/male pride, i.e. you have to be willing to accept a good dose of humiliation as a basic form to express your love and respect for her …and you have to prove it to her …..On and on and on again!

However don’t fall right to her feet slobbering away at her shoes and mumbling stuff about wanting to be her slave, be punished and similar rubbish! Most girls will of course give you a kick up somewhere and tell you to get lost. You can’t do that on a first date or a first attempt to let her know about your submissive nature.

The trick is to give her an idea how blissful and wonderful it can be to have a submissive man as partner and TRULY enjoy the liberties of female dominance and power, without actually asking her to be dominant or confess to her all your pervy fantasies ( which you all surely have !!). So instead of wild promises, confessions or pervy actions (especially when you barely know each other yet) chose a sweet and convincing way to show her that you are the one for her.

As an idea, instead of always trying to get her naked as quick as possible, why not making sure for once that you are naked first, but pleeeease remember guys: socks and shoes off first!! Never ever keep your socks on for God’s sake, but make sure they disappear first!

The clue is: get naked without undressing her and remain so, while you are maybe kissing and fondling. Let her enjoy this new offered liberty as much as possible. Be natural about it and do it with a smile, maybe as if you were a stripper!

Next important point is: even though your body is at full display and offered to her to play with, don’t do the same to her body, i.e. never grope her tits or bum or stick your hands between her legs etc.….unless she guides you or tells you to, but most likely she will in such a moment be busy to play with your openly presented assets.
Point 3: when she reaches between your legs (which she will inevitably do in such an inviting and tempting situation) ……open up willingly and keep your thighs spread open while she plays with you. Don’t open your thighs just a little bit, but spread them open wide, properly offering her your manhood (especially as well your testicles ) to play with and clearly letting her notice your offer.

What about a whisper in her ear:"Just for your pleasure and amusement!"??

Never do anything, which might signal to her that you would like her to go down on you! On the contrary, keep your cock always away from her face as much as possible.

Often in the beginning a young woman may not be so experienced at fondling a man, especially his balls. However should her testicle fondling cause you an uncomfortable sudden pain, DO NOT fuss about it or even close up your legs…….., but keep them spread wide open and maybe give her a tender kiss on the cheek and whisper in her ear e.g. "I’m sorry, they need a lot of training", thus reassuring her to carry on and take away any feeling of guilt for having done anything wrong (because she has NOT!).

Let her play with you not only as much as she wants, but above all as well HOW she wants to. Never tell her to do this or that, but just let her enjoy you the way SHE likes it. Whether this is the way you like it is not up for question at all! Should you dislike it, e.g. because you may feel hurt, humiliated or in pain, grit your teeth, spread your legs even wider and endure it …for her pleasure and amusement!!

Should you get hard due to her fondling let her enjoy the view and grant her the pleasure of a smirk or a grin, looking at the successful result of her "handy work"… your rampant erection (a woman is always amused when she manages to get a man rampant hard! It is the key to female domination, so let her cherish her female power!! ).

Encourage her amusement ( even if you find it humiliating ) and e.g. playfully pose in front of her, presenting your erection, to get a giggle or laughing out of her and of course thus encourage her to reach out again to grab your throbbing cock or boiling balls. If so, remember to instantly spread your legs again as soon as she reaches for your cock or balls and ….keep your hands out of the way – always!!

You may ask her e.g.: "Would you rather like your toy shaven?" In case she is quizzed, reassure her that you just would like to please her and show her how much you love her. This trick usually makes a woman wonder whether this man is willing to shave his pubic hair as a proof of his love. If she does agree promise her instantly that you will do it and then make sure that the next time you stand naked in front of her you are neatly shaven, all of it, i.e. cock, balls, pubic area even your anal area ! A sweet and impressive little love proof to start with and I am sure she will be very amused to now play with your shaven "non-macho" manhood.

The whole idea about it is of course to take the "threat" away for her and give her the feeling that she is totally in control and that you are game for anything she would want to do to you and with you.

It is of course absolutely clear and obvious that perfect body hygiene is an absolute must and precondition if you want to have any chance for success at all. So guys, make sure you’re clean (especially if your not circumcised!) and smell nice, always!

Usually a girl wants to kiss and cuddle you while she is fondling your cock and balls, especially in the beginning, unless she is already quite experienced and self assured (….I adore playing with my man’s assets – sweetly or roughly – and watch him – his face his reactions and of course cherish his humiliation, especially when I get him hard or squeeze his testicles hard,… but that is already advanced!!).

In case she wants kissing, let her kiss YOU, i.e. don’t stick your tongue straight into her mouth …let her be active and penetrate your mouth with her tongue. Let her play away with you, e.g. bite your lips or nipples and she will get more confident with every minute.

Depending on the situation you may even go and fetch a drink (champagne is always good!!) and serve it to her… naked of course!

If you feel that she’s comfortable with the situation (you being fully naked, maybe even erect and her still fully dressed) and she feels happy, relaxed and excited you may as well give her another signal of your submissive nature.

Whenever she is fondling and/or kissing you, keep your hands humbly behind your back or at least clearly out of the way,usually already a dead give away for every woman with a good sense of a male’s submissive nature.
However the main moment now, before you make her feel as if you’d expect her to go down on you, is to gently go down on her. Whatever the situation, make sure she is sitting comfortably say on the edge of the sofa, bed or a chair (if not gently guide her there, she will follow!). Once there, don’t just go for it, but again gently ease the way. Slide on to your knees in front of her, lovingly kissing her cheek and stroking her arms down to her hips. If she is wearing trousers gently unbutton them and help her out of it, always smiling and always making sure she enjoys the view of your naked exposure. Anytime she is reaching between your legs, you stop your proceeding instantly at let her play with you, if necessary spread your legs again wide open signalling to her that you are happy and willing to let her play with your male pride anytime and in any way… and again keep those hands out of the way, best behind your back or at least firmly pressed onto your bum cheeks or so.

As soon as she has finished amusing herself with your throbbing cock and balls, give her a sweet kiss on the cheek and whisper e.g.:"For you to play with anytime you want!" Smile about it and don’t say it in a slavish tone of voice. Then carry on and reposition yourself kneeling in front of her.

Make sure you kneel properly, i.e. knees spread apart wide and usually hands on your back ( that is how a gentleman kneels in front of a lady ! ), but this first time you may use your hands, gently, in order to prepare her for your oral service.

If she is wearing a skirt don’t just lift it up or pull it up. You can start your display of true love and care by e.g. kissing her knees and slowly move your lips up her thighs, pushing her skirt up with your nose/face!
Never use your hands forcefully, but only when necessary and always gently and sweetly.

Usually by now the girl will want to help you and automatically take her knickers off herself. If not, do not pull her knickers down, but e.g. gently kiss her knickers crotch 10-20 or 30 times, lovingly and passionately. Kiss the inside of her thighs, up and down, lick them sweetly (don’t slobber!!) until she is getting so hot she will want her knickers down.

From then on the guides to good cunnilingus contained in this group fit nicely and should be followed, with a few exceptions ……according to my view!!

First and absolute major exception is : cunnilingus is an ORAL form of sex, so use your tongue, lips, mouth, maybe nose ( gently ! ) and your face, BUT DON’T USE YOUR HANDS, NEVER, unless the woman explicitly asks you to or guides you to do so.

When performing cunnilingus or any other oral service your hands always belong behind your back or holding YOUR thighs or bum cheeks ( e.g. to keep your balance when leaning forward, especially when you have to bow down low to kiss and lick her feet… but that’s for later !).This humble attitude is a basic proof of your respect for her womanhood and a clear signal that you are there to serve and please HER, entirely and purely, without threatening her with your manhood or expecting any sexual favours from her!

If required e.g. to support her feet, ankles or calves, never grope them or clasp them firmly, but just lovingly support them with the open palm of your hands, as if you are holding a tray or a precious item,….which you are !! Above all never grope her tits, bum, spread her bum cheeks or pussy or even stick your finger up her pussy or bum, unless you are explicitly asked to do anything similar (and if she does, for God’s sake, guys, make sure you suck your fingers first properly and make them wet before you even dare to touch her clit or pussy!! Repeat it if necessary… and….. Even when not necessary, as it is always a nice view for a woman to watch a man sucking her pussy juice of his fingers!! )

Usually a woman would possibly ask you to stroke her gently, but never grope her! This is a pure male disorder, but even when required to stroke her, do so gently and lovingly and never take any liberties. Tell her how beautiful she is and how proud you are to be allowed to be her man….! Promise her sweetly that you are willing to do anything to make her happy and you may even beg her to help and guide you, the way she likes it best, so you can improve and please her better every time.
When ready to perform, move your hands behind your back - properly, lean forward and start tongue servicing her pussy….. Passionately, willingly, devotedly, eagerly, persistently and without any inhibitions.
Often a girl automatically reaches out for your head to hold you in place, guide you or when she gets hot press your face against her vulva, mostly to rub her swollen clit against your face, nose or tongue.

Sometimes she does it gently and some girls like to hold your head with a firm grip, even pulling you harshly by your hair, especially when climaxing.

Some girls like to be licked gently, but continuously over an extended period and others love to harshly grind their pussy over your face, basically using your face to masturbate on. What I want to say is, that there are many ways how to perform cunnilingus – you do it the way the woman you are serving likes it – no matter what she demands from you – do it - …and do it willingly, eagerly and promptly, without hesitating, no matter whether you feel uncomfortable or humiliated, whether your knees are hurting or you have been at it already for over an hour…. in countless positions – you please and serve her the way SHE likes it,.. Devotedly and humbly! Another lady (you may be lucky enough to serve orally ) might like it completely different – YOU have to adapt as quick as possible to her likings and give your utmost to please her the way SHE wants it. Learn from it, improve …always trying to be able to please and serve her even better. Never question any of her likings or wishes, as there is no wrong in what a woman may demand from you. What pleases HER is always right!!

Consider every feeling of humiliation or pain a chance to express your true respect and love for her and NEVER EVER limit, inhibit or restrict her pleasure, because your male ego feels hurt and humiliated or you are suffering physical discomfort! That is how you prove to her what a man you are! Be proud and happy about it, as that is the way to make sure you don’t appear to her as a wimp!

Make sure that the feeling she gets from your passionate way of eating her out is that she can really let herself go and that nothing will make you rock back, especially not her womanly fragrance, juices, slime, sweat or any other vaginal discharge, not even her urine!! Equally there is no time in a month when you can’t serve her orally. You should feel honoured to orally please her right then, during her most womanly days in a month.

Equally it is not up to you to decide whether she has to shave her pubic area or not. Some women do, some don’t and some do it partially. Live with it and serve a hairy pussy with equal passion than a shaven one.
Hairy pussies create a particular challenge to your male duty of tongue cleaning a woman’s vagina, as you have to make sure that any remains of slime, juices, urine etc, are licked and sucked up ( gently ! ) From her pubic hair. You will inevitably get some of her pubic hairs in your mouth. NEVER EVER fuss about it, like spitting, coughing trying to get the pubic hair out of your mouth, dramatically interrupting her pleasure and making her feel uncomfortable! Be discreet about it and learn to swallow them, without interrupting your oral service and her pleasure.

Personally I am not a fan of hairy pussies and I consider a shaven or at least semi shaven pussy much nicer, sexier and attractive. I always keep my pussy semi shaven, leaving a small "Mohican" pubic hair style. Lucky of course for my hubby, as he surely prefers it that way as well of course, but I would always expect him to tongue serve a hairy pussy with equal passion and devotion.

The third challenge a male pussy eater faces, when orally servicing a hairy pussy is the friction it causes on his face, depending of course how much the woman enjoys grinding her pussy on his face.
If I really want to give my man a hard time, I let my pubic hair grow a few days until it is stubbly and then give him a hard face ride, really grinding my pussy over his face hard for a good while until I can fill his mouth with my juices. Simply a priceless view to see his slime covered face afterwards, red hot and literally rubbed raw.His nose usually gets the harshest treatment, but as well his forehead, cheeks and chin look as if you had scrubbed his face with a scotch brite… severly!

The traces of such an oral service are usually visible for a couple of days afterwards and when I am feeling really wicked, it is simply a glorious humiliation to use him like that before e.g. taking him out for dinner at a restaurant or go for a walk with him. Endless fun to watch his embarrassment, especially when I add sweet comments about his oral service… making sure that every woman that can see his red sore face knows as well why !
Loads of chuckles, grinning, smirking and female amusement …of course all at the expense of my hubby’s male pride. In such moments he is struggling to keep facing me and the witnessing ladies around us offering them the amusing view of a big, hunky male embarrassed and humiliated by natural female dominance. Simple, sweet and great fun.

Another important point you guys have to learn to accept is that pussies are not all the same. Some are small, some are large, some are tight and some are not, some have the inner labia sticking out and some pussy lips are thicker than others etc. etc.!

Equally a lady’s most intimate fragrance differs from woman to woman. Even the same lady may sometimes smell and taste different on different times of the day or different days of a month (as my hubby taught me!)
This has got nothing to do with poor personal hygiene, but is simply part of a woman’s nature.

I do not accept poor hygiene from nobody – man or woman – at no time! There is no excuse for it – never!
However it is not up to you to say how she is supposed to smell or taste. It is part of her womanhood, which you are expected to worship.

I expect from my man that he can recognise me blindfolded just by the taste, smell and (tongue-) feel of my anus, let alone my pussy!!

This is how good and devoted you have to try and get.
So guys, learn that it is utterly important that she can enjoy you oral service absolutely guilt free, uninhibited and unconditional, knowing that the man serving her so lovingly is really and truly happy to please her orally in any way she likes and that he doesn’t expect anything in return. YOU have to make sure she gets that feeling!
The first time my boyfriend ( now my hubby ) treated me like that, I was over the moon and his sucking, licking and swallowing was so passionate and extended that I literally exploded in a violent orgasm ( I was not even 20 years old then and quite inexperienced, with no particular dominant streak in me ).

I was really filling his mouth with my juices (I never knew I was able to produce so much discharge and liquid), but above all I could not help losing control!! A fair amount of my bladder content got emptied……. first over his face, but after his immediate adjustment…. straight into his mouth.

I expected him to jump up, spit and cough and tell me off, but he didn’t move back an inch. On the contrary, he pressed his mouth firmly onto my pee whole, making sure as little as possible got spilled on the sofa (after the initial splash in his face).

He was struggling, but swallowed every drop and then …..Resumed his licking….as if nothing had happened!
Now though he was licking me clean of all the various discharges that had flooded my vagina, my thighs and down the crack of my bum, even though his hair was soaked with my piss and his face was covered in my pussy slime.

He did it, as if it was the most natural thing to do to your girlfriend the first time you have sex together!! He swept away any feeling of embarrassment I felt for a moment with his devoted and passionate way of orally serving my pussy. He really gave me the feeling that it is absolutely alright for a girl to ejaculate like that right onto her boyfriend’s face and even freely piss in his mouth.

God how impressed I was, but the real cracker was to follow.
Apart from licking me clean, sweetly and lovingly, but at the same time deeply and thoroughly, while I was still glowing from my thundering orgasm ……he suddenly thanked me for granting him this utter privilege to tongue service me and how wonderfully I tasted and that he hopes that he was good enough for me to let him eat me out again.

I was gob smacked! Good enough….?? I never had a boy doing anything similar to me. I couldn’t wait to enjoy this blissful experience again!!

What really did it for me in the end was that he never expected anything in return, not even me wanking him off, let alone asking for a blow job in return. He didn’t start undressing me either trying to fuck me, even though he had a massive hard on and surely would have loved to fuck me or at least have me wank him off.
No - after lovingly kissing my hot pussy 20 or 30 times he got up and fetched me a drink….. a glass of champagne ! I was so swept off my feet when he sweetly presented me the glass and whispered:"I love and adore you!"

I still vividly remember today the smell of my own female juices on his slime covered face and then the taste of my own female spunk, when I lovingly kissed him. I particularly remember pulling my tongue out of his mouth and jokingly pulling a disgusted face saying:" Tasting wonderful?? - Yuk – goes and washes your mouth out!" He just calmly replied:" Of course I will if you really want me to, but what a shame... - I adore tasting your beautiful womanhood ….for as long as possible !" ….leaving me again flattered and gob smacked.
This wonderful procedure repeated itself several times during the following days. He offered blissful, unselfish female pleasure without any catches or expectations. Besides that he always offered his naked body for me to ogle at and play with, without groping or molesting me in any way, not even taking one item of clothing off me. He only took my knickers off once after I had told him to help me, before going down on me, because I was so hot and just couldn’t wait any longer!!

Over the following days I wondered if he would finally present me with a "bill" for his services or expected some other catch. It was simply too wonderful to be true – but nothing.
I played with him, teased him and truly enjoyed feeling his rampant throbbing cock in my hand, expecting him to beg me to wank him off…. he never did, even though his balls must have been close to bursting and as I learned only later on he must have suffered a bad case of aching "blue balls" over these days, as I had him hard over extended periods and countless times without any relief, but he never complained once.

It was just such a thrill to be able to openly play with his male pride, without being forced afterwards to do anything with it and without owing him anything, simple guilt free and catch free pleasure…… pure FEMALE pleasure.

He always moaned, groaned and endured my teasing hands between his legs, which were always humbly spread open wide, whenever I chose to toy with his manhood… and I truly enjoyed this newly found liberty.
The fourth time round, after nearly an hour of orally servicing me in various positions and having me scream from joy, he even asked me to grant him a chance to say "thank you for being such a wonderful woman and letting him be my man" (his words!). I nodded and wondered what surprise was to come now.

Maybe he took the chance as well, because I had been kneeling on all fours on the bed, while he had been on his knees behind me, licking, sucking and tongue fucking my pussy from behind ( an absolutely glorious feeling ! ).
For the first time then I cherished the regal feeling of having my anus licked, kissed and ……French kissed…..- deeply and passionately. I was close to tears from joy to be truly loved and adored by a man in such a blissful, unselfish way!

Again it wasn’t just the anilingus as a sexual act that did it to me, but much more the passionate, respectful way he did it to me. He didn’t just briefly kiss my bum or gave it a quick flick of the tongue – no I am talking proper anal worshipping!

Similar to his cunnilingus performance he never used his hands at any moment, e.g. to spread my bum cheeks apart – no, he simply used his nose and face to spread them and gain proper oral access to my anus.

Then he first kissed my exposed bumhole 20-30 times and used his flat tongue to lick over it on and on, clearly and openly tongue cleaning my anus. He was really rubbing his flat tongue over it, with pressure to make sure that even the last bit of dirt would be removed. After a while he positioned his open mouth over my anus and sealed it off using his lips. I could feel his pointed tongue now trying to stretch my sphincter muscle open...gently, but persistently working on it… until my rectum slowly opened up allowing his tongue to enter deeper and deeper until he could really get his tongue up my arse as far as he could stretch it. He didn’t care about the taste or any surprises that may happen, but sucked firmly on my arsehole and fucking it with his tongue. I really had the feeling that he wanted to clean me inside out. Simply a heavenly feeling!

I could have remained in that position for a long time and I am sure he would have sucked my arse for as long as I wanted to, but that time though I wanted to know about "his pleasure" and pulled him up to me on the bed after enjoying his way of thanking me.

I started kissing him (despite the strong smell and taste of my own anus in his mouth!) and fondled his manhood. My fondling quickly turned into masturbating him… quite roughly, while snogging him forcefully and passionately. Of course he got hot in no time, as this was already nearly a week with him being rampant and teased every time he performed orally on me, with no satisfaction for himself.

He started moaning and groaning more and more until he obviously was about to lose control. He begged me to stop, but I didn’t want to this time and I told him, that I wanted him to come…. basically forcefully milking him. He bucked and grunted, but always kept his hands on his back (!) and his legs spread open for me so I could properly wank him off. He shot his load all over my tummy, blouse, skirt and legs…. and then he surprised me again totally!!

Barely recovering from his climax he instantly knelt up and bent forward to lick his spunk of my tummy, he sucked my blouse and skirt clean and with no hesitation licked as well every drop of slime of my legs.

I watched in disbelief and I had to giggle as it tickled when he sucked his cum out of my bellybutton. He even gently took my hand and licked up every drop of cum even sucking every single finger.

He thanked me gently kissing the hand that had wanked him off, praising me to be the most wonderful girl in the world….. And which girl doesn’t want to hear that!!??

It only dawned to me later on that he had actually thanked me as well for giving him permission to ejaculate.
You can imagine that from then on there was no stopping anymore. Roland and I are now over 20 years together (!!) And I still can’t get enough of his oral servitude, which of course developed very quickly after the first few encounters.

Needless to say, that today there is no form of oral servitude I haven’t tried with him yet. Literally every inch of my body has enjoyed his tongue servicing, whether for cleaning purposes or sexual stimulation. Obviously of course the main areas are my bum and pussy, my feet, legs and hands (yes "hands", as I truly enjoy being greeted with a hand kiss, especially when performed respectfully, i.e. with him bowing down low and celebrating his humble exposure by pressing his lips on the back of my hand, remaining so for 3-4 seconds before raising his head again!).

Queening him has become my favourite form of having sex with him, not only because it is simply a glorious feeling to sit on his willingly presented face and enjoy his tongue, but it gives me at the same time the possibility to play with his cock and balls, of course teasing and tormenting them mercilessly…. which I still enjoy endlessly..Even after 20 years!!

But I do of course enjoy as well his foot and shoe service or having him kneeling in front of me ( naked of course ) with his head between my thighs….!

As well I couldn’t live anymore with the simple and wonderful way of greeting me…. a respectful hand kiss. Natural, easy and wonderful.

When I want a good fuck I strap a dildo onto his mouth or face and fuck his face…… absolutely fabulous, especially to have him licking me clean afterwards, lovingly and willingly ..and thank me for it with a deep, passionate anal french kiss ( this ritual has remained the same, ever since the first time ….over 20 years !! Ever figured out how many hundred times he has french kissed my anus ..and I still can’t get enough !!?? ).
So, boys, my advice if you want to make your lady really happy : stop thinking about yourself, strip naked, get down on your knees and get your tongue to work….and don’t expect anything in return, even if you have managed to make her orgasm many times, your jaws and tongue are aching, you swallowed all her juices and licked her clean… and your balls are nearly bursting ……don’t pester or urge her with your horny cock, but thank her instead with a passionate anal French kissing and then serve her a drink.

If your relationship is already a bit more advanced, you should (after washing your mouth!) kneel at her feet, hands on your back and bow down low …kissing her feet and tongue service them sweetly, while she is sipping her drink… and enjoying the view of the naked male, humbling himself happily in front of her to express his love and adoration for her.

Well I wouldn’t settle for anything less anymore and my husband really has to give his best to impress me… every single time …and sometimes that is not even good enough!

I insist he expresses his will to please, serve and worship me openly, willingly and eagerly. I insist as well on details being performed properly, such e.g. automatically and instantly stripping naked without hesitation or questioning… and when I mean "naked" I always mean fully naked.
Some men sometimes have a funny idea about the term "naked", i.e. some think keeping their pants on is naked enough or even worse… keeping their socks on!!

No way had boys – naked means fully naked – cock and balls exposed.

I expect from my man to even take his watch off, when I tell him to strip or ask him to perform some oral service, in which case he has to strip automatically without my saying, unless I explicitly tell him not to strip. This happens rarely though, i.e. only if the situation is too risky and potentially offending. Otherwise I much more often request him to strip naked, as well just for the fun of it, as I am a great fan of CFNM ( clothed female naked male ). I enjoy having him naked around me and being able to toy with him whenever and as much as I like.
After stripping naked I equally always expect him to kneel in front of me, whenever required to worship me in any way. Furthermore I want to see him kneeling respectfully, i.e. knees spread far apart and hands firmly held onto his back, upright and facing me enduring the humiliation of my smiling look thus giving me a chance to enjoy his predicament. I enjoy as well e.g. sipping a drink while he is just kneeling in front of me like that, sometimes teasing him with my feet and sometimes simply enjoying the view of him kneeling there respectfully for the amusement of his wife.

The presence of another woman or even a group of women does not change a bit, no matter whether he knows her/them or not. I would consider it quite insulting if he hesitated e.g. to strip naked and kneel, just because he will be exposed to the view of another woman, who can witness the way he worships his lady and of course can witness his deep thorough humiliation.

It is in such moments when he truly shows his will to please me and prove his love and adoration for me.
It is not easy for my hubby to be exposed naked to another woman, accidentally or intentionally, as his naked body gives any woman a clear sign of his submissive nature. The reason for this are not the marks and welts of a previous caning (well it can be sometimes), but the fact that he has to keep his anal and genital area completely and neatly shaven at all times.

But this would not be enough of course. What gives him away is that I had his cock and balls pierced and ringed already years ago (13 in fact). On his cock ring (right under his glands) he is wearing a golden attachment, the symbol of the female gender

(♀) and on the ring pierced through his scrotum he is wearing a golden round tag, bearing the inscription "Toyboy" ( on the back ), "Property of Barbara" ( on the front ).

To complete his visual submission I had his right bum cheek tattooed, following a picture of me, showing the bottom half of my body sitting, i.e. my legs, arms and hands…. holding a whip ! (I have added the pic showing his tattoo and me modelling for the tattoo in the folder "oral servitude", even though it is not quite a cunnilingus picture like all others, but it shows much better what I tried to explain).

So there is no way he can talk himself out of his submissive nature, whenever he finds himself exposed naked to the view of another woman.

Well I don’t want him to either – on the contrary. Whenever I chose to expose him I want to grant any witnessing lady not only the amusing view of a naked male, but an embarrassed and humble naked male, thus immediately make her ( or them ) feel in a superior, dominant position, thus ensuring her amusement. Always plenty of smiling, smirking, grinning, chuckling, giggling and laughing…. not for my hubby though !

Needless to say that whenever the marks of a previous thrashing are still visible, his humiliation is of course dramatically intensified. However even without it, I can assure you his humiliation is good enough to make his heart pound and his throat go dry.

I say this, because often his voice goes croaky and slightly vibrates, whenever he has to answer embarrassing questions asked by any amused woman enjoying his obvious humiliation. I always expect him to openly and truly answer any questions asked by a witnessing lady, no matter how embarrassing they are for him.

What always causes great amusement is the simple thing that he has of course to address any women respectfully. The only freedom he has is that he can chose between "My Lady", "Madame" or "Ma’am" !
So his first "Yes, My Lady" always causes plenty of grinning and smirking and often of course stirs the woman’s curiosity, leading to more embarrassing questions and humiliating comments!

Simple, but great fun and amusement!
I have added some pics showing my hubby serving as well one of my lady friends. She is actually in her own relationship more the sub part, but always truly enjoys my hubby’s submissiveness whenever I lend him to her to amuse herself a bit and of course get some real memorable oral service!!

All you dreaming guys out there bear in mind that my hubby and I have been together for over 20 years and we surely didn’t play this sort of games right from the beginning. It takes quite a while for both partners to learn and get used to a growing S/M relationship. It takes an awful lot of love, trust and respect for each other.

No matter what wicked kind of humiliation I chose to dump on him or physical punishment I make him endure, I do it with love. Today I could not imagine anymore living without him and his sub nature.

I would never call him slave, as a slave is never consensual; he is forced to do things against his will. I would call him toyboy and gentleman, as he is happy to suffer for me and female pleasure, despite the sometimes deep humiliations he has to endure.

I don’t want to get too much off topic here!
So here the promised rules and guidelines I have created years ago to keep my man on his toes. However I am sure it would do many of you macho guys out there the world of good to learn from them as well.

These rules are of course for an advanced relationship, so beginners …don’t jump the gun - start slowly and give it a chance to grow day by day.

Women are quite prepared to lead a fem dom relationship if they really get some pleasure, fun and satisfaction out of it. However if you guys just dream about fem dom to jack off or think about your own pleasure first…. don’t bother, that’s not what a woman wants. Fem Dom is about giving and serving, pleasing, worshipping, amusing, satisfying and loving women.. And not about your cock and your male pride!

Both of them will learn how to suffer in order to convince a woman, that you truly love, adore and respect her.

Hope you enjoy the pics !

Good luck and "Cunnilingus Rules OK" !

PS. The pics I have added ( see folder "Oral Servitude" ) are private pics. Please respect them and don’t spread them all over the net. They are a gift to THIS club/group for the excellent work. I will later on maybe add some nice pics from the net, which aren’t already in these folders.
I may honour as well other clubs I like with different pics ( different topics ), but let this be my decision. Thanks ! I will let you know when and where I upload other private pics of a different topic.
I hope this club manages to progress further and soon has as well more explicit displays of male oral servitude as I have mentioned above! Would be great to see some red hot pussy creamed male faces !

Rules and guidelines for proper gentlemen to proper male oral servitude :

Consider orally serving a woman a privilege and honour.

Always be ready, eager and willing to serve her orally in any way and as much as she likes, at any time, anywhere and under any circumstances, no matter whether she just was at the gym for a workout or whether she is just having her periods or whether she just had sex, with you or any other man. You always owe her your full oral servitude at all times. Consider it your basic duty as a (gentle-) man to serve a lady like that.
Consider Cunnilingus and Anilingus as the basic and natural form of having sex with a woman.
Never expect anything in return, let alone demand any sexual favours in return.

Absolutely never and under no circumstances ejaculate without her explicit permission. Do not masturbate or play with yourself while serving her orally, unless she wants you to.

Whenever you think about losing control, beg her to help you, i.e. with some harsh testicle treatment (slapping, kneading and/or stretching vigorously) in order to immediately abort your urge to ejaculate and cool you down. It is YOUR duty to signal it to her early enough to avoid unpermitted ejaculation. There is no excuse for it, no matter how much she has been teasing you!

Whenever allowed the privilege to ejaculate always instantly and automatically lick up every drop of your own slime, no matter where it has ended up. Should you have been granted the utmost privilege of being allowed to ejaculate inside her body ( vaginal or anal ), ensure that every trace of your male slime is again being instantly removed from her body by sucking and licking her vagina or anus with utmost respect, devotion and gratitude until she has been perfectly cleaned again from your mess. An excellent way for you to do so is to offer her your face to sit on, however always does it the way she likes it best.

Always express utmost and humble respect when serving a woman orally, i.e. any form of oral service is always performed with you being fully naked, kneeling in front of her ready to serve, even if you are only required to tongue clean the soles of her shoes or kiss her anus! You can only remain clothed or semi clothed if explicitly instructed by her to do so.

Never touch her with your hands and always keep your hands firmly behind your back at all times while serving her orally, unless instructed by her to use your hands in any other way.

Always follow her wishes and instructions promptly and eagerly no matter how much discomfort or humiliation it may cause you and never stop until she tells you to, pushes you away or simply gets off you.

Always be prepared to eagerly drink and swallow any form of vaginal discharge, slime, sweat, juices, menstruation, semen (!) and of course her urine. Always lick her properly clean after she has climaxed and thank her for the privilege with a deep, passionate and memorable anal French kiss.

Consider it a gentleman’s duty to offer her your mouth as ladies toilet at any time. Always assume the necessary position, which allows her maximum ease and comfort and enables you to swallow every drop, i.e. without causing any mess. Learn to swallow continuously and efficiently, allowing her to use your mouth freely without any restrictions or inhibitions. Always lick her clean after she has used you and thank her afterwards.

Equally when tongue serving her anally, be prepared to tongue clean her anus AND rectum (!) properly from any sort of dirt, especially when she wishes to use your tongue instead of toilet paper. Always ask for permission to wash your mouth after tongue serving her anally, should you be required to perform further oral services for her or any other woman. Never perform Cunnilingus after you have performed Anilingus, without washing your mouth first ( -> could cause vaginal infections ). Otherwise of course be proud to taste her anal flavour in your mouth for as long as possible.

The presence of other women does not change any of the above rules, i.e. when required to serve her you perform with equal eagerness and passion, strip fully naked and kneel in front of her, willingly enduring the humiliation it may cause you being exposed, paraded or shown off in front of other women.
Accept the right of your lady to always offer your oral services as well to other women. Always obey her and serve any other lady given to with utmost respect and devotion in any way required, no matter whether you like her looks or not and accept the humiliation as a proof of your love for your lady and a proof of your respect and adoration for the female sex.

Top things a husband should do?

2005-01-25T06:49:00.000-08:00

I was having lunch with a girlfriend from my college days that I had not seen in many years. We were talking about relationships, men, boyfriends, husbands...etc.,etc. when the subject of my special relationship with my husband came to light. She couldn't believe it when she was told of my many affairs and my husbands understanding and willing participation in events leading up to and after my 'dates'. We caught up the rest of the afternoon and I started listing on my 'palm-pc 'the things that paul does willingly and what I make him do.

Willing Duties

1. BUYING LINGERIE - seemingly innocent enough, once he started surprising me with gifts from Victoria's secret I made sure he had an account and credit card. He buys most things on line on a regular basis. The twist was that once I started seeing other men it really turned him on the pick out a special outfit alone or together.

2. DRESSING ME - helping to pick out my outfit for the evening is another turn-on for him. Planing my clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. This also can connect to shopping trips together completely unplanned for a future unknown event. {he used to hate the mall...now he like a puppy, and has become very good at picking out clothes that look good on me}

3. WATCHING ME - do my make-up and asking his thoughts, ...it can be pretty erotic to take my time eyes, lips, hair.....

4. WASHING - It gives him a thrill i think to hand wash all my lingerie especially the recently used and stained by my lovers. He and the general clothes.

5. RETELLING THE EVENTS - my husband always gets hard, stays hard, and gives me great sex the days after I have an affair. It keeps him sharp and always wanting. Don't get me wrong I still make love and am in love to my husband.

Required Duties

1. CLEANING - the bedroom, bath, kitchen, or what ever part of the apartment needs attention. To be on his knees scrubbing the floor while I out for the evening or longer drives him crazy.

2. LONG TRIPS - having to deal with at least one or two trips for long weekends or vacations without him is hard for a husband to sometimes accept. I don't know what is worse for him impromptu or planned events? Calling him while away also drives him crazy....I guess because I only give him some of the details.

3. EATING OUT - the morning after, and defiantly that night if i don't stay over, my husband licks me to a series of slow orgasms and get a first hand look 'at the scene of the crime' so to speak. I almost had to threaten him that I may leave him, the first time, in order to get him to lick the residue of my affair. It is about control and power, or his lack of.

Ladies! Cuckold your man NOW!

2005-01-25T04:48:00.000-08:00

So, you want to start cheating?
Here’s your guide to finding the fuck of a lifetime that won’t ruin your life! Congratulate yourself – you are a modern woman and aren’t constrained by the chains of chauvenistic oppression that kept our grandmothers and mothers (mostly) virginal. You know that you can have as much sex as you want – strictly for YOUR PLEASURE – without having to feel guilty or slutty or a combination of the two. And if you need some kind of excuse to justify your sexual urges, look no further than biology: your body needs the genetic material of gorgeous, strong, fit men.

Take a good, long look in the mirror. Stare at yourself. Now, tell yourself how sexy you are. How beautiful you are. How far you’ve come since you worried about whether or not your butt looked big in those jeans (it didn’t by the way). Feeling good?
Think about the type of affair you want to have: a fling, a one nighter, a threesome… whatever. Fantasize about the sex you want to have, and imagine the intense pleasure you’ll receive from the man you want to lick you, carress you, and bring you orgasm after orgasm…

Now you’re ready to find the man. Be practical. If you’re in a relationship and you don’t want your husband or boyfriend to find out, you’ve got to be crafty about who you choose to sleep with. You could walk to the nearest bar and pick up some random character (not recommended for safety’s sake, and for the sake of your own self-worth) or you could try calling an old boyfriend and telling him you’re drunk and horny (also not recommended for the sake of your own sanity, self-worth and for the sole reason that he probably wouldn’t care too much about your orgasm). Or, you could do what millions of other women have done successfully: find a hot guy at an adult matchmaking site.
If you’re truly ready to find a guy for sex, ScandalousWomen recommends you find him at BestAffair. This is the BEST place we know of to find guys for sex, and it’s the #1 adult matchmaking site for women. Plus, it’s FREE so you’ve got nothing to lose. Upload up to 20 photos of yourself and create an anonymous profile that includes your vital appearance stats and your sexual fantasies. Within minutes of registering, you’ll get tons of messages from guys who want you. Pick and choose through all the guys – check out their photos, see what turns them on, and let them know if you’re interested. It’s simple and safe. If you’re worried about your husband or boyfriend finding out – don’t be. YOU ARE IN CONTROL. You can choose to show your face or not. You can choose men from your home town or far away. You can screen the guys to make sure they suit your needs. And you can be sure that you’re going to have sex with someone YOU want. Enjoy! Feeling lucky? Click here to start an affair tonight.

How to Cuckold Your Husband or Boyfriend

2005-01-25T04:34:00.000-08:00

This is an preview of Danielle's Diary at scandalouswomen.com You can ask her questions personally at the website!

Want to cuckold your husband or boyfriend?
Here are some tips from the experts!

1. Confidence in yourself is very important to becoming an accomplished cuckoldress. Start by flirting with other men when you're not with your husband. The level of the flirting can range from eye contact and a smile to suggestive innuendo during conversations - depending on the circumstances that can range from how many margaritas you've had to how likely it would be for your man to find out. Measure their reactions. Do they appear mildly interested, willing to be your sex slave, or somewhere in between. The desired result,of course, is to make them want you desparately. Soon, you won't be nervous anymore in this flirtatious activity and will be the picture of confidence. Guys love confident women!!!

2. Start mentioning to your husband/boyfriend the amount of male attention you're getting and watch his reaction closely. Is he jealous and possesive? Does he act as though he's not threatened at all, or do you see a little jealousy mixed with excitement? Mention it more and more - especially when you're making love. Does it turn him on?

3. Tell your man you're having fantasies about sex with other men. Reassure him its no one in particular (even though it may be!) but you're just curious about it. Have a good reason if he asks you why that doesn't threaten him. For example, if you were sexually inexperienced when you hooked up with him, say something like "Honey, sex with you is soooo great, it has me wondering about other sexual possibilities…you've got me hooked on sex!" THIS will boost his ego by making him think he is the reason you love sex so much. If you think he'll resist this, another approach would be, "honey, you had several sex partners before we met and I never had the chance…I just want to see what its like but I love you." Reassure him that you're just curious and haven't done anything. You should discuss these fantasies with him often, even tell him you're pretending he's some movie star while you make love. Scream out the star's name! Put on a show! He'll LOVE it!

4. At some point, you'll have to test the waters and really take your flirtations a bit further - all the way if you want! By now, you're confidence should be very high. Follow your instincts to what could result in a very brief but highly orgasm-charged fling with a really hot guy! Afterwards, continue with the tips in #3, only now, you'll be speaking from experience. Don't tell him about this encounter. It should always remain your little secret. (be sure to share it with scandalouswomen.com, though!)

5. When it comes time to break the news to your husband that you really want to have wild sex with other men, and by now he should be so enthralled with your sexuality he won't resist, you'll appear confident as you head into your encounter. If you let your husband watch, make sure you smile at him and make heavy eye contact during the fuck-fest. Your husband should plainly see how happy this is making you!